Stolen car seat issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an MB, I would replace the carseat. It isn't worth fighting over $300.

That said, I can see the husband's perspective. As between the employer and the nanny, the nanny is at fault here because the carseat was stolen from her custody. If you checked a bag at the airport and it got stolen from the luggage cart on the tarmac, no one would say "Oh, it's not the airline's fault; it's the fault of whomever stole the bag." No, you would consider the airline responsible because it had custody of the bag, despite the fact that the airline only took custody to benefit you. In other words, being at fault for the loss and being responsible for the loss are not exactly the same thing.

If nannies drive their charges in their own cars, they should get language in their contracts stating that they are not responsible for childrens' items, including carseats, that are damaged or stolen while in her car.

Bullshit. I have had my car broken into twice and had done everything in my power to prevent it. My car was locked, nothing inside to steal, and parked in front of my house in a safe area with street lamps directly above. The police said that drug addicts would drive around, drop someone off in a nice area to break into as many cars then the getaway driver would drive back to pick them up. I had no control over the situation even with a car alarm. The only way you could blame me is if you insinuated that my income level played a part because I couldn't afford to live in a place with a garage. Getting robbed is not the victim's fault. It's like saying because a girl wore a short skirt, she was asking to get raped or that you walking home is the reason you got mugged. We can do everything in our power to prevent bad things from happening but that doesn't always mean it won't.

If you want to be ridiculous and blame someone then blame the boss for not providing a car for the nanny. She is at fault for leaving valuable items in the procession of someone else because they can't afford to offer a vehicle for work use.


But in the end, it's no ones fault. Shit happens, suck it up and pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Your husband is a ____[/b]. Almost afraid to ask what this nanny's salary is, that he wants to make her pay for the theft. Just wow.

A MB here. Let me finish that sentence: Your husband is a cheap ba$tard. So it wasn't traumatic enough for your nanny that she had her car stolen and radio taken but your DH wants her to pay for the replacement of your kid's expensive (used) car seat? Are you going to remove it every night from her car so it doesn't happen again? Do you pay for her car insurance because it likely will go up if she files a claim for the car seat? Can she afford to live in a safer neighborhood on her nanny pay? I feel sorry for your children to have a father who is stingy and has so little compassion.

Well said. Thank God there are MB's out there like you who seem reasonable and have respect for your nannies. Shame on your husband OP for thinking it's your nannies responsibility to pay for a new car seat. I am totally disgusted.

Another MB here. Its shocking that you would consider not replacing the car seat. The nanny had a terrible thing happen to her, don't treat her like the perpetrator. Replacing the seat is a small matter, and you incur the risk of theft anytime you install a car seat in a vehicle.

Besides, it's just the kind thing to do. You make more than the nanny - enough to be her employer. You might not be made of cash, but it means you can be gracious and replace the car seat.

[Anonymous]

Op, do you have a response to any of this? I remember my Mb giving me the wrong keys to the door, so when I ran down stairs to sign for a package of theirs (they lived in a condo duplex) I locked the door behind me. When trying to get back in I couldn't. No cell phone, no memorized number. I had to run to the corner store to call the fire department. When they arrived they had to break the glass Window in order to get in because they couldn't pick the lock at all.

I felt awful, however, I was not at fault and they had to pay for a new window. With all this being said I would have probably quit had they asked me to pay for all or partial.

Your husband is a jacka** and I can only imagine what he complains about spending on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
I checked this thread again after the first few replies (which confirmed my leanings) and then I went out and bought the same carseat that night. I didn't think anything of it until I found today that apparently people are still replying to this thread, appalled at me and my DH.

There are a lots of assumptions being thrown out, but I will only address a couple.

First, I had no intention other than to reimburse her for the car seat. I was not "entertaining" making her pay for it.

Second, my husband briefly thought about asking her to claim the car seat if she was going to put a claim in to her insurance (but not if she didn't, we were not going to make her insurance rates go up solely because of our car seat) or to ask her to pay partially for the carseat because we are actually otherwise quite generous to her.

She is a part-time nanny who only works about 2/3 of the hours she actually gets paid for, and we maintained her position for her earlier this year after not needing her anymore (new preschool is full day, previous required aftercare) because she was so distraught about having to look for a new job. We paid her for the two days she couldn't work because of the stolen car/car seat issue. We also gave her a bonus of two weeks pay last year, when we did not receive any bonuses ourselves (cue the nannies telling me what a crap bonus amount that is).

My DH is not a cheap bastard, or jerk, or whatever the hell else he was called on this thread. He grumbled a bit and was initially annoyed by the situation. He had no issue with me replacing the car seat after the first mention of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I checked this thread again after the first few replies (which confirmed my leanings) and then I went out and bought the same carseat that night. I didn't think anything of it until I found today that apparently people are still replying to this thread, appalled at me and my DH.

There are a lots of assumptions being thrown out, but I will only address a couple.

First, I had no intention other than to reimburse her for the car seat. I was not "entertaining" making her pay for it.

Second, my husband briefly thought about asking her to claim the car seat if she was going to put a claim in to her insurance (but not if she didn't, we were not going to make her insurance rates go up solely because of our car seat) or to ask her to pay partially for the carseat because we are actually otherwise quite generous to her.

She is a part-time nanny who only works about 2/3 of the hours she actually gets paid for, and we maintained her position for her earlier this year after not needing her anymore (new preschool is full day, previous required aftercare) because she was so distraught about having to look for a new job. We paid her for the two days she couldn't work because of the stolen car/car seat issue. We also gave her a bonus of two weeks pay last year, when we did not receive any bonuses ourselves (cue the nannies telling me what a crap bonus amount that is).

My DH is not a cheap bastard, or jerk, or whatever the hell else he was called on this thread. He grumbled a bit and was initially annoyed by the situation. He had no issue with me replacing the car seat after the first mention of it.

You do realize that all of the "generous" things you have done for her have absolutely no bearing on this situation right? Literally nothing. She's not asking for more pay/benefits. A crappy thing happened to her and the carseat is YOUR responsibility, no matter how well she is otherwise treated. The responses you got simply went off the information you gave. Your husband was annoyed and thought that perhaps the nanny somehow should share responsibility for your stupid expensive carseat. Maybe he's not a jerk/cheap bastard, but that inclination certainly was.

[Anonymous]

I believe about 65% of your response, OP, because I don't believe anyone who truly has a great and generous relationship with their nanny would feel so defensive.

I'm also curious why you'd say that nannies here will criticize a Christmas bonus of two-week's pay. If you are a regular here you have seen many holiday bonus threads - at least one from today on the topic - and would know that's simply not true. The nannies have all argued for somewhere in the range of nothing to one week's pay as standard or acceptable - not two weeks+.

If you haven't read many threads here and therefore didn't know about the consensus here, why would you think that nannies here would jump down your throat? What could have led you to such an assumption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't read many threads here and therefore didn't know about the consensus here, why would you think that nannies here would jump down your throat? What could have led you to such an assumption?

Not the OP, but I discovered this forum two days ago and while it's super entertaining and informative, the level of discussion on here is on par with a high school cafeteria. Everybody jumps at everybody else, makes wildest assumptions and always, always thinks the worst of the people in any situation described.

And people do get defensive when they get called names for three pages, that's just human nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't read many threads here and therefore didn't know about the consensus here, why would you think that nannies here would jump down your throat? What could have led you to such an assumption?

Not the OP, but I discovered this forum two days ago and while it's super entertaining and informative, the level of discussion on here is on par with a high school cafeteria. Everybody jumps at everybody else, makes wildest assumptions and always, always thinks the worst of the people in any situation described.

And people do get defensive when they get called names for three pages, that's just human nature.

+1. I've been on DCUM enough to know this is pretty standard here. Know one here really knows OP and lots of people called her and her husband all sorts of names. Why wouldn't she get defensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't read many threads here and therefore didn't know about the consensus here, why would you think that nannies here would jump down your throat? What could have led you to such an assumption?

Not the OP, but I discovered this forum two days ago and while it's super entertaining and informative, the level of discussion on here is on par with a high school cafeteria. Everybody jumps at everybody else, makes wildest assumptions and always, always thinks the worst of the people in any situation described.

And people do get defensive when they get called names for three pages, that's just human nature.

+1. I've been on DCUM enough to know this is pretty standard here. Know one here really knows OP and lots of people called her and her husband all sorts of names. Why wouldn't she get defensive?

"Cue the nannies saying two weeks bonus is crap"? That's an awfully specific insult to toss out there and makes OP sound like a nasty piece of work. Sure the "discussion" here is antagonistic and juvenile but it's no different than the rest of DCUM...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you haven't read many threads here and therefore didn't know about the consensus here, why would you think that nannies here would jump down your throat? What could have led you to such an assumption?

Not the OP, but I discovered this forum two days ago and while it's super entertaining and informative, the level of discussion on here is on par with a high school cafeteria. Everybody jumps at everybody else, makes wildest assumptions and always, always thinks the worst of the people in any situation described.

And people do get defensive when they get called names for three pages, that's just human nature.

+1. I've been on DCUM enough to know this is pretty standard here. Know one here really knows OP and lots of people called her and her husband all sorts of names. Why wouldn't she get defensive?

"Cue the nannies saying two weeks bonus is crap"? That's an awfully specific insult to toss out there and makes OP sound like a nasty piece of work. Sure the "discussion" here is antagonistic and juvenile but it's no different than the rest of DCUM...

The names posters called OP and her DH were just as bad. Just depends on which side of the fence you are on what you decide to take offense to I guess.