Who gets the best nannies?

[Anonymous]

How sad that so many of you have such contempt for the people you work with, both employee and employer. Why stay in the field if it is so so horrible? Crappy situations exist in every profession, people will always be underpaid/overworked/under-appreciated, these are not experiences unique to nannies or their employers. The complaining on here is beyond ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

As with most things in life, the people who are clear about the job duties (as well as their expectations), consistent with the kids (and the nanny), communicative, respectful, friendly, and willing to pay appropriately for the type of nanny they want will be most likely to get the best nannies--- but they also have to be lucky! Schedules have to fit, parents have to be interviewing at the same time the nanny is looking, their ad has to reach the nanny and be compelling enough for her to apply...lots of things have to fall into place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its hilarious that MBs always pay $22/hour and top of the line benefits when they're trying to prove they don't suck. Any other time, you're an overpaying fool if you pay more than $18.

Brilliant!

[Anonymous]

Some employers don't realize that being a good boss doesn't mean that you fall all over your nanny hoping she thinks that you are nice. The employer who "feels bad" or is afraid of saying something when the nanny is always late, is not doing anything during nap time or other issues makes the situation worse. There are nannies that are just plain manipulative, will always push boundaries, and need to be let go. There are other nannies who are not self-motivated but who will do their job and meet the expectations that they agreed to if you are clear that they need to do this. If you don't, they will simply think its fine to sit around and do nothing.

MBs need to realize that someone who decides to become a nanny is not necessarily a super ambitious go getter who will find more valuable things to do if she has already finished tasks. Most people would prefer the most pay for the least work but they will deliver the least amount of work that they can. You just need to be clear.

There are also situations where MBs make too big a deal that something is not a problem so guess what, the nanny starts doing it all the time. If your nanny is late rather than gushing how its not a problem just be clear and say OK but its important that this not happen again. If it happens again, sit down and be clear that you will not continue to employ a nanny that comes late.

The "nice" MBs are the ones that never say anything and then get so frustrated that they let the nanny go and look for alternate childcare or a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some employers don't realize that being a good boss doesn't mean that you fall all over your nanny hoping she thinks that you are nice. The employer who "feels bad" or is afraid of saying something when the nanny is always late, is not doing anything during nap time or other issues makes the situation worse. There are nannies that are just plain manipulative, will always push boundaries, and need to be let go. There are other nannies who are not self-motivated but who will do their job and meet the expectations that they agreed to if you are clear that they need to do this. If you don't, they will simply think its fine to sit around and do nothing.

MBs need to realize that someone who decides to become a nanny is not necessarily a super ambitious go getter who will find more valuable things to do if she has already finished tasks. Most people would prefer the most pay for the least work but they will deliver the least amount of work that they can. You just need to be clear.

There are also situations where MBs make too big a deal that something is not a problem so guess what, the nanny starts doing it all the time. If your nanny is late rather than gushing how its not a problem just be clear and say OK but its important that this not happen again. If it happens again, sit down and be clear that you will not continue to employ a nanny that comes late.

The "nice" MBs are the ones that never say anything and then get so frustrated that they let the nanny go and look for alternate childcare or a new nanny.

Case in point. The assholes who think they're better than their nanny find the good ones, then they ruin them for the decent parents. Its one thing to advocate for being clear on expectations, great! But to make sweeping judgements on nannies as a whole being lazy and not "go getters" is very condescending, and points to your general attitude toward "the help" and how you'd treat a nanny.

[Anonymous]

But to make sweeping judgements on nannies as a whole being lazy and not "go getters" is very condescending, and points to your general attitude toward "the help" and how you'd treat a nanny.

The majority of posts by nanny on this board present nannies as being interested in doing the least amount of work and overly interested in entertaining themselves. There are plenty of former preschool teachers looking for nanny positions even though they would prefer teaching in a classroom. The draw to the nanny profession is less work and more money. Same goes for all the people in nanny positions because they don't have skills to do anything else. Even a good number of the career nannies have entitlement issues to sit around doing nothing.

A naive employer who is more focused on being perceived as being nice will get walked all over by one of these nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But to make sweeping judgements on nannies as a whole being lazy and not "go getters" is very condescending, and points to your general attitude toward "the help" and how you'd treat a nanny.

The majority of posts by nanny on this board present nannies as being interested in doing the least amount of work and overly interested in entertaining themselves. There are plenty of former preschool teachers looking for nanny positions even though they would prefer teaching in a classroom. The draw to the nanny profession is less work and more money. Same goes for all the people in nanny positions because they don't have skills to do anything else. Even a good number of the career nannies have entitlement issues to sit around doing nothing.

A naive employer who is more focused on being perceived as being nice will get walked all over by one of these nannies.

You apparently don't understand what a nanny is. Your lazy "help" isn't a nanny. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But to make sweeping judgements on nannies as a whole being lazy and not "go getters" is very condescending, and points to your general attitude toward "the help" and how you'd treat a nanny.

The majority of posts by nanny on this board present nannies as being interested in doing the least amount of work and overly interested in entertaining themselves. There are plenty of former preschool teachers looking for nanny positions even though they would prefer teaching in a classroom. The draw to the nanny profession is less work and more money. Same goes for all the people in nanny positions because they don't have skills to do anything else. Even a good number of the career nannies have entitlement issues to sit around doing nothing.

A naive employer who is more focused on being perceived as being nice will get walked all over by one of these nannies.

You apparently don't understand what a nanny is. Your lazy "help" isn't a nanny. Sorry.

You apparently think that you are the only person alive who DOES understand what a nanny does, since you feel the need to post this asinine response on every thread, be it relevant or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it the highest bidder, or the nicest, or the best perks?

Or a combination of all of the above?

All of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the highest bidder, or the nicest, or the best perks?

Or a combination of all of the above?

All of the above.

Or posting your position at the right time in the right place and getting lucky. It all depends. But rate, parent personality, child personality, job responsibilities and perks all make a difference.

Btw, the best nanny for an infant might be terrible with toddlers and preschoolers, and a nanny who loves toddlers and preschoolers might hate the quiet that comes with infants. Some are great with one child and can't handle the chaos of 3+ kids, while others prefer the chaos and would be bored with just one charge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it the highest bidder, or the nicest, or the best perks?

Or a combination of all of the above?

I don't have to read the other responses to answer this question. Within a pay range (let's say $20 to $25 an hour) the connection/gut feeling a nanny has is more important than an extra dollar an hour. However, when you are dealing in a lower range of compensation - like $15 to $20 an hour, the nanny goes with the highest bidder because she has to just to survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the highest bidder, or the nicest, or the best perks?

Or a combination of all of the above?

I don't have to read the other responses to answer this question. Within a pay range (let's say $20 to $25 an hour) the connection/gut feeling a nanny has is more important than an extra dollar an hour. However, when you are dealing in a lower range of compensation - like $15 to $20 an hour, the nanny goes with the highest bidder because she has to just to survive.

I pretty much agree. I really feel sorry for women trying to survive in this area on less than $20/hr, especially your nanny. She needs to be live-in with everything provided, or married and splitting expenses. Otherwise she's living hand-to-mouth, and who thinks that's a good thing?

[Anonymous]

MB here. I have had two spectacular nannies. I manage people for a living and my philosophy is not to "screw people" but instead to work with people who if you treat with respect will do a great job. I follow this at home too. I also figure out a good way to work with each person as an individual. We all have our likes and dislikes (including me) and I try to accommodate those within reason. You also pick your battles -- I discuss things that are important, I don't get hung up on things that are just stylistic and are working for our nanny.

We pay well, but not outrageously (definitely not $22/hour for 2 kids, which is what we have), but we are fair, consistent, communicative about what we need, thank our nannies for what they have done. I am never late (well, I've been 5 minutes late, once, with warning, in 3 years). We sign a contract in advance that covers most issues that might be contentious. I look at references carefully, not for what I am hoping. I trust my gut, which is probably the most important -- is this person good with children, caring, responsible, do they have common sense, and are they professional?

We've been lucky but also taking the most important hiring decision that we will make seriously. I am better at hiring than DH, so I do the work and he trusts me.

I think being willing to pay well is important, but to get the best nanny you also have to find the person who earns the salary and benefits you offer. Then you have to treat this person in a way that allows them to do a great job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the nicest people get the crappiest nannies and nice versa. No clue how it always shakes out that way.

And crappiest people get good nannies and the nannies leaves and crappiest people have to look for another one every month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the highest bidder, or the nicest, or the best perks?

Or a combination of all of the above?

I don't have to read the other responses to answer this question. Within a pay range (let's say $20 to $25 an hour) the connection/gut feeling a nanny has is more important than an extra dollar an hour. However, when you are dealing in a lower range of compensation - like $15 to $20 an hour, the nanny goes with the highest bidder because she has to just to survive.

I pretty much agree. I really feel sorry for women trying to survive in this area on less than $20/hr, especially your nanny. She needs to be live-in with everything provided, or married and splitting expenses. Otherwise she's living hand-to-mouth, and who thinks that's a good thing?