Nanny was a little "forceful"...

[Anonymous]

Yesterday, as I checked in on my 6 month old via a drop cam in his bedroom, I witnessed our nanny "forcefully" (to me) turn his head to the side. This was during his naptime and in the midst of sleep training - he was waking up often during his nap.

I spoke with our nanny this morning, telling her that I felt it was too forceful for me. I told her I understood it was probably frustrating and if she ever did feel frustrated to leave the baby and take a minute to herself. She was surprised, and admitted that she does turn his head that way because that's how he typically falls asleep. She also stated that she wasn't frustrated and that "it's hard to be frustrated with a baby".

I guess I'm just looking for some opinions or maybe just to vent a little. Nanny has been with us for a few months and we think she's doing a great job with our little guy and making our lives easier. I don't think she had any intentions of hurting the baby, but as a first time mom, of course I worry about everything.

[Anonymous]

You're the boss. She obviously wasn't trying to hurt him and she knows you are watching, but if it made you uncomfortable let her know you want her to be more gentle in the future. Don't insinuate that she was frustrated because she has already said that she wasn't. All of that being said, I wouldn't make a habit of nit picking behaviors that are not dangerous or important. If she is generally too rough, then she isnt a good fit for you, but occasionally doing something differently than you isn't a bad thing. My charge listens so much better to me than her mother. Why? Because I don't talk to her in the syrupy sweet baby voice her mom does. If she's misbehaving she knows I mean business, while she laughs at her mother because the tone is confusing.

[Anonymous]

Without having seen it we can't really say if you're over reacting or not - if she turned his head forcefully and quickly I'd be concerned, but if she was slowly and forcefully helping him get into his sleeping position I wouldn't have said anything. I think it's a great sign that she both admitted doing it AND said it's hard to be frustrated with a baby (great infant nannies feel this way - most people do not) and agree with the PP - she knows you're watching, obviously wasn't trying to hurt the baby or express any anger, I'd try to let this go. Of course if there are other issues or other instances of her being too rough for your liking it may not be a good fit (or she may not be a good nanny) but if this is your only concern it really doesn't sound like too big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Did the baby seem hurt or uncomfortable when she moved him?

Have you ever witnessed her being rough with the baby otherwise?

Do you have any other reservations?

You've already spoken to her about it

I'm not saying you are wrong but I know with my first I thought I would break her 3 kids later and if my first time mommy self and my self now as a mom of 4 could meet well first time mommy me would freak.

[Anonymous]

I've gently held babies heads to the side while comforting them to help them learn and keep their head to the side when they fell asleep. Without seeing the video we can't say if she used force or not. If you feel she did talk to her and suggest gentle ways of helping them learn

[Anonymous]

You know OP, it is your call really.

It's a personal choice.

If you feel she was too forceful + that makes you uncomfortable, then you have every right to let her go.

But if you think you are just having a case of "New Mommy Jitters," then just try to take a deep breath and try to be more trusting of this person who you have hired to care for you precious baby while you are unable to.