How much does MB trust you?

[Anonymous]

At my former job, I really took over everything for my MB--DB had medical issues that made it impossible for him to do much physically and also was kind of checked out (he has now found a different medication and I'm glad to say is finally present with the kids). For 4 years, I basically was June Cleaver--ran the household, and managed everything to do with kids. The kids and I are very close--we went on roads trips cross country, I planned for every Christmas and birthday, etc. I still am their #1 emergency contact and have full medical authorization for their kids and if MB and DB died tomorrow I would have guardianship.

I get that that level of trust is rare, but my new job is just so different. My current MB questions almost everything and I often feel that she looks down on me for being uneducated (didn't finish college). I often feel like she blames me for things that either are not my fault or that are nobody's fault (like on a day when DC didn't nap well, she said that it must be because I didn't give him enough stuffed animals to hold--he has 10! The difference between 10 and 11 is not going to wake him up." She also said that she was hiring me to make aure they get active time and time outside, but I have only been allowed to drive them 2 X in a year. She says that anywhere without valet parking isn't safe because they don't listen and hold hands, but doesn't believe me when I explain that they do stay with ME (but run from her). I am getting burnt out and am sad but I just don't know if this job is a good fit.

[Anonymous]

I think you've already answered your own question.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP you know the answer.

You've been with this family a year.

That's long enough that MB should be able to trust your judgment, and long enough for you to know if this family is a good fit for you.

If you haven't found a compromise in a year it isn't likely to happen.

Start looking for a new gig now that matches your style you may be able to luck out in snag something that starts in October.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. I was really hoping to have another long-term gig. And of course I will miss the kids, but we are not a good fit.

[Anonymous]

you are the nanny, not the mom. quite frankly, i think it's weird a nanny would guardianship over an actual family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you are the nanny, not the mom. quite frankly, i think it's weird a nanny would guardianship over an actual family member.

She's not demanding to have guardianship that was just an example of the level of trust she is accustomed to.

It may be uncommon, but not weird. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have blood relatives they can trust with kids or that are living. Why not ensure the safety and well being o the children with a trusted former nanny if the alternative is them ending up in foster care.


Lastly, the nanny is not asking to be the mom. She simply wants a position where she is trusted enough to leave the house with the children and d basi activities sounds pretty normal to me , any MB I have worked or has wanted me to be out regularly with children from the start.


It's not a good fit OP given it a year. There is no reason to prolong a bad match where no one is happy it isn't good for anyone.