| I have had the same FT nanny for several years. Now that the kids are bigger, I have stated to develop some concern that she is not assertive enough or authoritative with and have spoken to her about this (we want the discipline continued throughout the day). She has been so great as they were babies. We are strict at home and do not tolerate certain behaviors and I 'feel' things ramping up through the day and I therefore walk into a shit storm at night. Once things are escalated to that level, they are hard to calm, which makes for really unenjoyable time with your own kids. WWYD? |
|
Perhaps their just being kids?
Do you work from home? How do you 'feel them ramping up?' |
| Is the behavior calmer when you have them on a Saturday/Sunday? Or if nanny is out and there is a sitter? Does the nanny have the ability to get them out of the house each day? Have you gone over house rules and the consequences used to enforce them with her? When she lays down a consequence do you support her? This could very well be exactly what you say--nanny who is great with babies but basically "soft on crime" and not capable of managing big kids, BUT it could also be something fixable and it's worth taking a look. |
| it's not uncommon for kids to turn into little shits in the evening when they're hungry and tired. it's not called "the witching hour" for no reason. or maybe she's a better baby nanny. but based on behavior alone i'm not sure i'd go straight to the nanny not enforcing the rules. |
| Like pp poster stated witching hour is common also kids act different for their parents than they do their nanny they also usually act up more when both the nanny and parent/parents are home. They also know that mom or dad will be home soon and for some kids excitement turns into acting out because they get overstimulated |
|
Maybe she doesn't want to be too strict w/them because she fears they will turn against her and then tell you what a bad nanny she is or make up a story about her and you will believe them over her and she will get fired.
If she really is in financial straits now and values her job, she may not want to risk this aversion. I would tell her directly that you value consistency and give her complete autonomy regarding disciplining your children, excluding corporal punishment of course. This may give her the reassurance she needs to allow herself to be more assertive around your children. Good luck. |
thank-you |
| You are walking into the "witching" hour. I'm sure it is not that chaotic during the day. |