Trying to help our nanny find her next family - wwyd?

[Anonymous]

We're letting our nanny of several years go in a few weeks because we're leaving the area. I started back in June trying to help her find something by posting on local boards and listserves and talking to other moms but for one reason or another no jobs have seemed to work out. I think she's a good nanny and we've never had any major issues with her, but I also know there are other people out there who might have more desirable qualifications (ie: early childhood ed, own car, etc.) This also seems to be a time when lots of nannies are available so I think there's also an oversupply issue. I've talked to at least 5 families as a reference and spent some time posting and sending out e-mails. I'm feeling a little frazzled myself with all the things I have to do to get ready, but of course I also want to help her if I can. She's made several comments about how we need to help her find something and I know she's understandibly anxious. I guess my questions are - is there anything else I could do to help her look? How much is reasonable for me to take on? I feel like she's looking at it as my responsibility since I'm not aware of her doing anything on her own to try to look or to follow up with families once she's interviewed.

[Anonymous]

It does sound like you're doing plenty, and it is not your responsibility to find her the next job.

Could you connect her with an agency or two that might be able to help her find short term work, and might also be able to help her figure out whether there are areas where she needs to be more marketable?

Also, you could set her up w/ a care.com ad or something and show her how to use it.

But I would make it clear at some point that you are done. Point out what you have done thus far, give her a couple of ideas for how to keep looking, and let her know that you won't be able to do more than give her the best possible references at this point.

[Anonymous]

I think you have pretty much done your duty to help her find her next family, and she needs to be working to find a job for herself as well. I would try sending out emails to any contacts you have at your children's schools, activities, and any activities that you attend such as if you're in a mommy group. One family of mine found so many families in their child's school in need of a nanny.

If you still can't find anything just tell her you are more than willing to give her a letter of recommendation and will give her phone recommendations if need be when she finds a family. It isn't your responsibility to find her her next job. Would your boss find you a new job after letting you go?

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks, this is helpful. I thought about Care.com too but she doesn't have a computer. I'd love to help connect her with an agency. How do I go about doing that?

[Anonymous]

She can use a computer for free at the library. You need to have a frank talk with her and make sure she is looking for a job and understands it's not your responsibility to get her a new one. That you were just trying to help.

[Anonymous]

It is 100% her responsibility to find a new position. Of course, what you're doing is fantastic and not unexpected, but it's unreasonable for her to rely on you to sort it out. I think you've done plenty.

[Anonymous]

That's about all you can do, and at the end of the day, while it's nice to help, it's not your responsibility to find the next job. You could give her a written letter of recommendation to add to serving as a phone reference, since you'll be leaving town--that way in case someone can't reach you she can always provide the letter. Otherwise, there's not much more to do.

[Anonymous]

If she is not using a computer to look for a job, she is not really looking. She should be at the public library daily, logging into Care.com, sitter city, DCUM, Craig's List, and also sending and answering e-mails. You could offer an hour of computer access at your house at the end of her work day if you want to help her more than you already have, but frankly, am just not impressed with anyone looking for any job providing an excuse why she has not been on the Internet.

[Anonymous]

My family let me know they are putting
their child in preschool last month. Of
course it is nice that they posted in my behalf
but, I have been on the computer myself everyday
sending resumes, left and right.

I agree with everyone else, stop holding
her hand. Let her do something, even if
it is printing her info on index cards and
going to places with boards. I know the
YMCA use to have places for advertising
schools, grocery stores etc.

I am just starting to hear from families,
you have to remember folks are on vacation
as well.

[Anonymous]

Even if you set her up with an agency
if she doesn't have the personality and
charisma to sell herself, she might as
well forget it. You can't be sitting around
feeling sorry for yourself. Tell her point
blank, you wish her well but you have
done all that you can do.

It seems like the new thing to do these
days is to put the kids on school earlier.
I am an early childhood teacher / nanny,
my little one is well prepared for school
early. I am sad and excited at the same
time, but it is time for both of us to start
a new adventure.

[Anonymous]

I think you have done your part. I am actually looking for someone to start in late August. If you want I could reach out to her. My email address is [e-mail]

[Anonymous]

OP, you are doing more than enough to assist your nanny in finding a new position.

No way is it your responsibility to secure your nanny a new job before you leave. Offering her a glowing letter of recommendation and/or a good reference is more than enough help.

For her to say you need to help her is not true. Sounds to me like you are bending over backwards for this woman + she is not making any effort on her own to find a job.

This is not standard in how things work.

If finding a new position is important to her, then she needs to get the ball rolling and start pounding the pavement on her own. Since you are in the throes of moving soon, you have more than enough on your plate to do.

Do not, I repeat...Do not let her make you feel guilty for not helping her enough.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're doing all you can. To be honest I think she could be trying harder...she could use a library computer and get on Care.com herself, in fact she could go it on a smart phone too. I would say her not driving and not owning a computer are kind of red flags.

[Anonymous]

As an mb if you contacted me for your nanny I would pass on her as well. It is her responsibility to find jobs and your responsibility to provide a reference. Unless they are friends of yours that your recommending her to otherwise I would think if she isn't capable of finding a job how is she capable of caring for my children.

Op, how did you find her?

[Anonymous]

If you haven't already, I would suggest writing a letter of recommendation for her. Potential employers will probably still want to talk to you to verify the reference and ask further questions, but it helps to have that upfront.

I agree that she needs to get online. A simple resume would be beneficial, too.