FIL driving my nanny crazy - thank you idea?

[Anonymous]

My in-laws have been here for a long visit (almost three weeks) and are finally packing up and getting ready to head back home (out of state). MIL has been great, but FIL has been difficult and our nanny has put up with a lot while he's been around. He even made a couple of unwelcome comments about her personal life.

I already gave her a $50 gift card last week to thank her, but should we do more? She told me frankly (we have a pretty open relationship) that she can't wait for him to leave! I want her to know that we appreciate all she did during the visit. Thanks for any ideas.

[Anonymous]

The gift card was a very nice gesture. I don't think you should do more in the way of gifts. It probably means more to her to know that you have her back and that you appreciate the care she provides to your children.
A 'thank you' goes very far.
You sound like a wonderful MB.

[Anonymous]

I think the $50 giftcard was more than generous, and now that he is gone maybe you can write her a note of appreciation or tell her in person how thankful you are to have her around even when things (or people) become difficult. If you offer her an end of the year bonus or something perhaps keep the situation in mind when it comes time for that!

[Anonymous]

The gift card is good, the open conversation with your nanny is good, but you need to not let this happen again.

I have this problem w/ various sets of grandparents also. I don't let anyone stay longer than a week, I talk to them about not hanging around all day and making the nanny's life difficult, and I give the nanny some extra money and activity ideas so she can get away with the kids more than might be usual.

But I really believe that part of our job as employer's is to prevent this kind of thing happening as much as possible. Your FIL is out of line and you and your husband need to try to manage that directly. (And let the nanny know that you're doing that so she knows you understand and are on her side.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The gift card is good, the open conversation with your nanny is good, but you need to not let this happen again.

I have this problem w/ various sets of grandparents also. I don't let anyone stay longer than a week, I talk to them about not hanging around all day and making the nanny's life difficult, and I give the nanny some extra money and activity ideas so she can get away with the kids more than might be usual.

But I really believe that part of our job as employer's is to prevent this kind of thing happening as much as possible. Your FIL is out of line and you and your husband need to try to manage that directly. (And let the nanny know that you're doing that so she knows you understand and are on her side.)

+1. Another MB here. This is excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

When my MIL visited and made life hell for my nanny, I gave the nanny a gift certificate to get a massage.

[Anonymous]

A $50 gift card is more than enough.

You are an excellent employer.

[Anonymous]

Write her a sincere letter of heartfelt appreciation.
For me, that means more than anything.

[Anonymous]

A basket of relaxing bath stuff would be a sweet gesture (and appropriate after what your FIL put her through) along with a note of thanks.

It's very kind of you to think of this, OP. You sound like a great employer.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you put a stop to GIRl's rude behavior and comments from the getgo? You are at fault here and, frankly, 50 dollars does nothing to make up for your n any being treated so disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

FIL not GIRI