Nannying for Teenagers

[Anonymous]

Hi! I am a 22 year old nanny, and about a year ago I started nannying for a now 14 year old boy and 10 year old girl. Problems started right away with the boy, he can be very resistant, difficult, rude and stubborn. He will not talk to me, if I ask him how his day is going he'll just say 'Don't ask me questions.' When he doesn't get his way, he throws fits. Recently, he has thrown a big rubber sword at me when angry. He also called me the "B" word under his breath recently, however he denied it even though both his sister and I heard it. It is becoming increasingly stressful for me, I have never been a nanny before and this is very difficult for me.
Have any of you ever nannied for teens? Any tips? I'm concerned that he is growing increasingly more aggressive.

[Anonymous]

What did the parents say about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did the parents say about this?

OP- I did not tell them about the 'B' word because he murmured it under his breath and I wasn't 100% sure he said it, I knew he would deny it and didn't want to start WW3 unless I was absolutely positive. He has clearly told me I was 'stupid' and 'shut up' which I have told his parents, and they usually take his phone away.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, OP? If this is your first nanny position (and at 22 I'm assuming you don't have other experience working with adolescents) I think you need to find one with younger kids. As a former middle and high school teacher, teenagers are just kind of jerks in general, but it is REALLY difficult to command respect from them when you're so young yourself. At your age you really have to be more of a trusted friend and confidant than authority figure which is clearly not working out.

I was 26 when I started teaching and it was challenging working with 16yos then; as a 30yo teacher I had a much easier time than my younger colleagues did, even if we had the same amount of experience. If you're not keen on babies or toddlers, what about elementary aged kids? I know saying to find another job sounds so easy and really isn't, but if you haven't found a way to connect with this kid (not saying it's your fault), I doubt you're going to now. Particularly if he's behaving violently (a 14yo throwing something at you is violent; a 3yo throwing something at you is a tantrum), this is a no-win situation. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

You're nuts to stay there.

[Anonymous]

You have no other options, as I see it, but to tell the parents that if this behavior continues you will not be able to stay on. Then, get SUPER tough on his ass - tell him exactly how you WILL be treated and warm him of the consequences if he does treat you rudely. Tell him that he does not have to like you or be friends with you but you will be respected. Be prepared for a lot of snarky, sarcastic comments and pretend he is being sincere. (Him (sarcastically): "Yeah, this sandwich is great" You: "Thank you!")

This is a great lesson for him.