Neighbor asking my nanny to watch his kids

[Anonymous]

A neighbor of ours asked my nanny at the pool if she could do a play date that afternoon because he didn't have a sitter. I am not ok with this on many levels, but mostly because she is a child care provider and he asked her to perform her services and didn't offer to pay her. I will be speaking to him about going about this another way if he does it at all (e.g., ask me first so that I can ask if she truly doesn't mid and doesn't feel obligated, and pay her). She watched them for 2 hours today and I know he pays his sitter $15. I would like to compensate her for her kindness somehow, but handing her $30 seems odd. Was thinking a Starbucks gift card or something? Or do I just make sure she knows I told him this wasn't ok and move on?

[Anonymous]

Ask him to please pay her $30. Done. And what a thoughtful employer you seem to be. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Also, tell her you've asked him to pay her $30., so she should be expecting it soon. You don't want her caught off-guard, and then refuse it. That would be mighty stupid.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a great employer. Apologize to your nanny for your neighbor putting her is such a bad spot and tell her that you will be speaking to him and that you insist that she never feel obligated to do this again. While a gift card is always a nice gesture, it isn't your fault this happened. Honestly, I'm a nanny and I would have said no to him - it would not be fair to my employer to take another job while I was working for them.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I'm the OP. I hadn't considered asking the neighbor to pay my nanny, and think that might make it more awkward. I'm pretty sure my nanny would refuse the money from him and it would turn into a bigger deal than I want to make it. It's not a huge deal - they know each other and they have had play dates before and the kids are all friends. My nanny was totally fine with it and said that when the kids have play dates, it actually makes her job easier because they play together so well, but did concede that she felt like she didn't have a choice. I just don't want it to become a thing he does any more than this once, and I'd like to give my nanny a little recognition for going above and beyond and being so sweet about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a great employer. Apologize to your nanny for your neighbor putting her is such a bad spot and tell her that you will be speaking to him and that you insist that she never feel obligated to do this again. While a gift card is always a nice gesture, it isn't your fault this happened. Honestly, I'm a nanny and I would have said no to him - it would not be fair to my employer to take another job while I was working for them.

I agree on the last point actually - I think if she had said yes and accepted money from him, I would have been irritated with her. I'm paying her to be with my kids, so taking another job while working would not work for me. I think she just said yes because it didn't seem like a big deal to her and the kids wanted a play date anyway. I did tell Her that I would talk to him and to please let me know if it happened again.

[Anonymous]

First she says she was fine with it, and then she tells you she felt like she didn't have a choice.

She sounds a bit like a Cinderella nanny with a weak spine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a great employer. Apologize to your nanny for your neighbor putting her is such a bad spot and tell her that you will be speaking to him and that you insist that she never feel obligated to do this again. While a gift card is always a nice gesture, it isn't your fault this happened. Honestly, I'm a nanny and I would have said no to him - it would not be fair to my employer to take another job while I was working for them.

I agree on the last point actually - I think if she had said yes and accepted money from him, I would have been irritated with her. I'm paying her to be with my kids, so taking another job while working would not work for me. I think she just said yes because it didn't seem like a big deal to her and the kids wanted a play date anyway. I did tell Her that I would talk to him and to please let me know if it happened again.

Now you sound confused, OP. Are you sure you aren't a troll?

[Anonymous]

Sorry I'm being unclear. She says she was fine with it and didn't think it was a big deal since the kids have play dates sometimes anyway, but I don't want her to be taken advantage of and don't want it to happen routinely. I was just asking if anyone thought it would be appropriate to give her a little something to thank her for being so accommodating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First she says she was fine with it, and then she tells you she felt like she didn't have a choice.

She sounds a bit like a Cinderella nanny with a weak spine.

I don't think it's that hard to imagine feeling both ways - not that big of a deal, but something that seemed a little odd.

[Anonymous]

What is with the use of the "Cinderella nanny" put-down?

[Anonymous]

I don't get what that even means.

[Anonymous]

Did Cinderella stand up for herself?

[Anonymous]

She ended up with the prince so I think she did just fine.

[Anonymous]

The nanny should have said she couldn't because she was working then.