How to Prepare for the First Day with a New Nanny

[Anonymous]

We are starting a nanny share in July with another family. I want to give the nanny background information that might be useful to her on her first day about my infant son. What information do you think would be useful to include?

Some brainstorms:
1. nap schedule
2. feeding schedule
3. daily activities, like tummy time, songs, reading books, playing on a blanket with different baby toys
4. habits, like that he wets or has a BM 30 minutes after a feeding
5. we like baby wearing and we don't like to sit him in things like bouncers or car seats for extended periods of time, outdoor time is important
6. that we expect her to report back to us on feedings (number of bottles, ounces of milk, times), diaper changes (type and times) and activities (how she accounts for her day with the little one)
7. anything that she might need from us, such as supplies or baby gear, want us to label stuff, where to put things, etc.

There is another family in the nanny share and they have a different parenting philosophy so I also want to be clear on my expectations of caring for my son.

Would it be helpful to explain that we only feed our son breast milk and no solids or purees until we explicitly state?
What other things as a nanny do think would be helpful to know on day one without being overwhelming?
If she is doing laundry and we use cloth diapers, is this a given? Our son is allergic to the dyes in diapers and wipes.

Any help is appreciated from nannies and current parents employing nannies.

[Anonymous]

Expecting a nanny to wear your baby when ah has another to care for is going to cause some issues. I can almost guarantee it. Did you discuss this in the interview with the nanny? What about the cloth diapers?
Your expectations of how the nanny cares for your son might be a bit off. When you share a nanny, you give up some of the flexibility in how you want the nanny to spend the day with your child. A good nanny will never just give your child purees. She will take your cues or ask you when you'd like to start.
All in all, most of the information is good for the nanny to have. I just think it's important that you realize that a few of these expectations are not going to work in a nanny share.

[Anonymous]

Let her figure things out on her own. You may realize theres a different way to do things.

[Anonymous]

I think it's good for her to have basic information. Suggestions on when Baby feeds, naps or need diaper changes are important. You should discuss with her what you plan to bring with you. Please go with her preferences, as it most directly affects her.
Above all, things aren't going to be exactly the way you want them to. You don't get that in a share. Step aside and trust the professional you hired to do her job. She will figure out what works best.
The baby wearing thing isn't going to work out. I promise.

[Anonymous]

OP, you aren't meant to be in a share. Which is fine, it's not meant for all families. I just think you are going to be very unhappy a couple of months in.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't expect her to baby wear our son as she is caring for two kids. Just trying to let her know that we are very interactive with him.

I'm not trying to be overwhelming, just want to know what would be helpful for a new nanny to have on her first day to help her learn more about her charges. If you are a nanny, what would you like on the first day? What information about a child would be important, besides things like allergies, meds, schedule and emergency contacts? Do you want personality information or likes or dislikes?

[Anonymous]

OP again, the other parents and I get along great. We are confident about the professional nanny we hired. I'm just trying to figure out what is the best information to share with the nanny without being overwhelming or pestering. I also wanted to let her know that we are happy to get anything she needs for the share. For example, the other family had a stroller she did not like so I asked her for her feedback on a stroller she preferred for the babies and purchased the exact one she wanted. She said she likes to take the kids to the library so I got the schedule of library activities at our local branch for her. She wanted to meet other nannies and babies for play dates and I connected her with some other families from our neighborhood list serve.

[Anonymous]

I think the information you have is sufficient.
I'm not trying to be mean of rude by saying this, but your desire to help and give out all this information to your nanny could very easily come across to her as micromanaging.
Give her the information that she needs, tell her you are open to any suggestions on things she needs, that you're happy to have her and then step back and allow her to do her job.

[Anonymous]

On the first day you don't want to overwhelm. Give basics and leaving something in writing is useful.

[Anonymous]

I suggest putting all of this information in a binder and asking her to go through it before the end of the first week. Some of it is important for day one, I agree, but there is so much information that it will be helpful to have a reference. I would also say something like this is what works for us and if you find other things helpful please tell us in your daily journal. The nap, feeding, and activities should all be in a sample one sheet daily schedule.

In the beginning she may do things a bit different just to get settled. I spend a lot of my first week doing skin to skin contact so that babies can get to know me. I find they feel much more secure in busy places like the park or library circle time after they come to trust me as their secure attachment. After the attachment is secure I still do lots of lap time but also do more fieldtrips.

[Anonymous]

I strongly believe in a daily diary - times of bottles, poops, naps, walks, etc. I made one for my MB and she and DH use it on the weekends as well.

Emergency numbers on your refrigerator.

[Anonymous]

With all due respect, OP, you need to unclench.

Here's what your nanny needs to know on the first day:

- a rough schedule of when he naps
- a rough schedule of when he eats, and how much
- emergency contact numbers
- any pertinent medical information
- where she can find extra changes of clothes, diapers, wipes

Your nanny is (presumably) a competent, professional adult. Treat her as such.

[Anonymous]

If you and your share partners are on different pages in regard to issues like discipline, schedules, feeding schedules and starting solids, you may not have a very successful share.

And if your values and child rearing theories differ very much, you might have a decent share with lots of nanny burn-out and wind up replacing nannies often.

It's hard enough to manage the expectations of a single set of parents, since those expectations often change. To manage 2 sets of parents who are not only not on the same general page, but not even in the same book...nightmare time.

[Anonymous]

I had two toddlers whose parents completely disagreed on what food they should eat. One allowed snacks after a substantial amount of healthy food was eaten. The other family were health nuts. I can't tell you how many temper tantrums I dealt with because Jane was given a surgery snack that Susie had to watch her eat. That was only one issue they differed on!

[Anonymous]

I think you should put all of this information in a binder. On her first day tell her that she can refer to that binder for anything she needs if she has questions about the way you want something to be done. Just throwing all of this information at her on day one will probably make her a bit nervous, and it will also make you look like you are trying to micromanage her. It also makes you seem like a bit of a busy-body, which is fine, but I think it is reasonable to expect that a nanny taking care of two children will do things a bit differently than a parent taking care of their infant.