Would you hire a nanny with a missing reference?

[Anonymous]

I've interviewed what seems like a great nanny. The problem is that she had a fall out with her last family. I have her side of the story that sounds very plausible, and she left on very bad terms with them, and she'd rather I don't contact them. Even if she had provided me their information and I would hear how bad she was in their opinion, would that be useful information? She obviously thinks they have nothing positive to say. I have other glowing references, but from longer time ago or babysitting jobs. Would that be a total red flag in your mind?

[Anonymous]

Sadly, yes - it would be a huge red flag to me. I know things happen and there are some horrible employers our there, but not being able to contact the last family when she has so few other references would be a problem for me.

[Anonymous]

She could have 10 amazing references and you would dismiss her because she wouldn't allow you to speak to her (more than likely insane) previous employer?

[Anonymous]

Search "Essential Proceedures" on this forum, and learn how to avoid this all too common problem.

[Anonymous]

I really hate seeing threads like this. You all do realize that nanny as nannies our references are our livelihoods? There are some really shitty selfish employers out there that use that fact to screw a nanny they have beef with, which may be a s simple as she didn't like them, their job, or how she was treated by them and had the audacity to move on. One missing reference really doesn't mean anything! Please understand that. You are looking for patterns of behavior. Multiple missing references are a red flag, but a bunch of great ones and one missing with a good explanation does not mean she is a bad nanny.

I have a missing reference. My employer missed my paycheck 6 times in 8 months. I finally got fed up and found a new job. I gave 3 weeks notice (contract didn't specify) and helped find a replacement. DB threatened me physically, and MB said they would sue me for breach of contract. Obviously, I don't use them as a reference, but I have copies of our final emails as well as their previous extremely positive performance reviews.

[Anonymous]

There is one family I worked for who I would never give as a reference unless absolutely necessary. Things were great in the beginning but took a downhill turn. I tried to stick it out, but it got to the point where I couldn't do anything right in her eyes -- for example, if I took her kid to park A, she would ask why we didn't go to Park C. If we played in the sprinkler at home, she asked why we didn't go to the splash pad. It was a stressful situation and I'm glad I left.

[Anonymous]

I'm a great nanny and I am in the same boat as your candidate. I have 10 years of glowing references, some of which are for positions I held for 3-5 years. I was employed by a family for 15 months and I tried to make it work but they had little interest in communicating with me. I had no choice but to find alternate employment. I gave them 4 weeks notice, per our contract. I thought all was well until I gave their name as a reference for a babysitting client.
I recieved am email from my perspective client stating that she would not hire me due to what my previous employer had to say about me. I was shocked because I was an AMAZING nanny for these people. I now refuse to give her name as a reference.
OP, I do hope you will at least check her other references before making a decision. More than likely she is withholding the reference not for some nefarious reason, but because the reference is nuts.
Nannies-always, always save any positive cards or emails you receive from your employers. They come in very handy should they later decide to screw you on a reference.
Lucky for me I saved everything she had given me that said what an awesome nanny I am, how helpful I am or how well I took care of their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've interviewed what seems like a great nanny. The problem is that she had a fall out with her last family. I have her side of the story that sounds very plausible, and she left on very bad terms with them, and she'd rather I don't contact them. Even if she had provided me their information and I would hear how bad she was in their opinion, would that be useful information? She obviously thinks they have nothing positive to say. I have other glowing references, but from longer time ago or babysitting jobs. Would that be a total red flag in your mind?

You know what,sometimes you just live the job you are for many reasons,I have bean a nanny for 30 years since I was in high school and I know the nannies get out the job because they is not happy up there,I had two bad experience like that,you have to trust people.
Good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

This has also happened to me, excellent nanny, degree in child dev., 15+years experience, One crazy MB out for revenge because I quit. Well when I went to a very expensive agency and told them they were not at all surprised. It seems a very common thing for bitter past employers to do when they feel left in the lurch. If you like her set up a trial and keep moving forward, unfortunately leaving a nanny job is much more complicated than leaving regular employment.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Yes, it would be red flag, but not necessarily a deal killer. I think it would depend on how many other nanny references she had, and how long she had precious jobs. I don't weigh babysitting references as heavily as nanny references.

Unfortunately, if the missing reference is her only nanny job or her longest job, I might pass on her. At the very least, I'd require a longer trail period.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is her side of the story? That would matter to me.

The situation in general would certainly be a red flag, but it would not necessarily be a deal breaker. It's hard to say without more details as to what the nanny has told you.

Also, I would ask her what she thinks the reference would say about her employment with them.

I would keep all of the above information in mind when speaking with her other references, and ask them questions to try to suss out whether they had any similar problems with the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, yes - it would be a huge red flag to me. I know things happen and there are some horrible employers our there, but not being able to contact the last family when she has so few other references would be a problem for me.

OP didn't say "there were so few other references."

How would you address the problem of vindictive former employers??

[Anonymous]

If she had been in the job a long time (like 2+ years), and really had only a couple of other references, I would have to like her an awful lot based on the interview, and would want to do a probation month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've interviewed what seems like a great nanny. The problem is that she had a fall out with her last family. I have her side of the story that sounds very plausible, and she left on very bad terms with them, and she'd rather I don't contact them. Even if she had provided me their information and I would hear how bad she was in their opinion, would that be useful information? She obviously thinks they have nothing positive to say. I have other glowing references, but from longer time ago or babysitting jobs. Would that be a total red flag in your mind?

You know what,sometimes you just live the job you are for many reasons,I have bean a nanny for 30 years since I was in high school and I know the nannies get out the job because they is not happy up there,I had two bad experience like that,you have to trust people.
Good luck!!!

Do you speak English?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she had been in the job a long time (like 2+ years), and really had only a couple of other references, I would have to like her an awful lot based on the interview, and would want to do a probation month.

"Probation" should be standard practice for the benefit of both nannies AND parents. Although in the end, no notice is really required either way, regardless of what we put in a contract.