Experienced nannies (and parents) tell me everything you know about caring for newborn twins

[Anonymous]

From establishing a routine, to taking both on doctor visits.

What's something I wouldn't think of?

[Anonymous]

If you have to come here for a general understanding of what to expect, you are not right for the job!

[Anonymous]

I think it's a great question and I hope we can get some HELPFUL answers from moms and nannies with twins!

[Anonymous]

Let the twins be together. They won't wake one another up. Let them be in the same room.

Get them on a schedule ASAP. If they are on a routine then, 1) you actually have a prayer of getting some sleep, instead of always having one twin awake and needing something, 2) you can anticipate their needs and be prepared to respond (instead of A crying for 10 minutes while you nurse B, you can have a bottle pumped for A--and yes, tandom nursing/feeding is doable, but not if you have a tough nurser or a reflux baby who needs to be held just so in order to keep food down).

What happens to one, happens to the other. If one wakes and wants to nurse, when he/she is done, nurse the other twin. Usually, I would say don't wake a sleeping newborn, but for twins, it's the only way to get them in sync. So if A wakes from nap early, wake B within 20 minutes so that both will be ready for the next feed and nap around the same time. The only exceptions are if one has moderate to severe medical issues and/or you have two adults caring for them full time (e.g., mom and nanny all day and mom and dad all night).

Know that a lot of it will be just meeting their basic needs. There will be little-to-no down time where tou just stare at them lovingly. There will be too much to do just keeping them both fed, clean and well-rested.

Relatedly: if it works, do it. If twin A sleeps best in the swing, then go ahead and do that for the first 3 months. The "fourth trimester" is overwhelming with one, let alone two. Do what you have to to get through it, then worry about establishing good habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to come here for a general understanding of what to expect, you are not right for the job!

Asking for the advice and guidance of those with more experience in order to improve job performance IS what a good nanny does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let the twins be together. They won't wake one another up. Let them be in the same room.

Get them on a schedule ASAP. If they are on a routine then, 1) you actually have a prayer of getting some sleep, instead of always having one twin awake and needing something, 2) you can anticipate their needs and be prepared to respond (instead of A crying for 10 minutes while you nurse B, you can have a bottle pumped for A--and yes, tandom nursing/feeding is doable, but not if you have a tough nurser or a reflux baby who needs to be held just so in order to keep food down).

What happens to one, happens to the other. If one wakes and wants to nurse, when he/she is done, nurse the other twin. Usually, I would say don't wake a sleeping newborn, but for twins, it's the only way to get them in sync. So if A wakes from nap early, wake B within 20 minutes so that both will be ready for the next feed and nap around the same time. The only exceptions are if one has moderate to severe medical issues and/or you have two adults caring for them full time (e.g., mom and nanny all day and mom and dad all night).

Know that a lot of it will be just meeting their basic needs. There will be little-to-no down time where tou just stare at them lovingly. There will be too much to do just keeping them both fed, clean and well-rested.

Relatedly: if it works, do it. If twin A sleeps best in the swing, then go ahead and do that for the first 3 months. The "fourth trimester" is overwhelming with one, let alone two. Do what you have to to get through it, then worry about establishing good habits.

Clearly a twin mom. I am also and I totally agree w/ every word of this, and the sections I bolded should be posted on a wall somewhere. Every word. Especially the scheduling and keeping them both on the same schedule (barring any medical issues).

Mine are now almost 3 (boy/girl) and this is how we have approached things from day one. They're both healthy kids, and they get the same treatment, same diet, same sleep schedule (in the same room except for naps now), same rules, etc... The schedule saved our sanity.

They go to all dr appts together. When they were really tiny I took them by myself occasionally but it does help to have another adult with you. It's good to have someone who can be undressing/dressing/comforting/entertaining one child while the other is getting examined or shots or whatever. I also ask the staff at our pediatricians to do the shots at the same time whenever possible. As they get older and develop an awareness it's just easier to get it all over with faster.

People love to feed babies- use that. Don't get hung up on 100 different minute perfect things you think you should be doing. Keep them clean, fed, safe, and loved for the first few months and you're doing your job (whether parent or caregiver). Be calm. Let them cry when necessary. No child ever died from crying and there will be lots of times when you're tending to one and the other is unhappy. They will live, life will go on, and you're still doing a great job.

Don't set yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. With twins you can't spend hours catering to their every individual quirk or fascinating trait. That's one of the hard things, but it also is simply impossible to do so just let yourself off the hook now.

Breastfeeding is great but incredibly hard. With twins it can be a monumental challenge - you just need one fussy baby, one poor latcher, one w/ reflux issues, one in a bad mood, etc... and the whole thing becomes incredibly stressful. Pumping is ok. Formula is ok. An ongoing mix of whatever works is ok. Pumping and formula let other people help - which is SOOO important. As PP said, if it works do it.

If the babies are healthy and growing you're doing a great job. Don't seek out tons of advice from parents of one child (or even one child at a time). Do talk to other people with twins (or triplets if you really want to get a perspective reset on your reality!)

If you're a nanny, make sure you're on the same page w/ the parents re expectations about schedule, sleep, etc... Do they want the children held/rocked to sleep? Do they cosleep? Do they believe in treating the twins the same way? ETc... (In my opinion, there are answers to those questions that would make me not take the job, but that's a personal decision.)

Use the law of averages to your benefit. Most kids are healthy, most babies have some level of reflux in early weeks but do not have allergies or intolerances - they just need to let their digestive systems mature, most babies can tolerate a pretty mixed diet once they start eating solids. Most infants/babies/toddlers/kids will fall within the pretty standard norms for appropriate sleep and nap times. Etc... Shoot for average. Trust the data and use that to guide what these infants can/should be doing re eating and sleeping.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Pick a couple of things you can/will do to document their infancy. I never got the darn baby books done, I missed out on newborn hand/footprints, etc... and I regret that. But I do have some great pics from when they were tiny, I do have some video snippets, and someday, 20 years, from now, when I have time I can organize them. You won't be able to do everything you'd do w/ one baby so pick something you can focus on to document them as they grow.

Allow other people to play/hold/feed/put down/care for etc... You can start teaching flexibility from the beginning if the babies are used to other people caring for them. If you allow that from the beginning you'll have more flexible kids, more ability to get out of the house occasionally, and more comfort in knowing your kids have a loving support system.

Those are my first thoughts... Ask away if you have other specific questions.

Oh - and we used pacifiers (which were life savers) which we yanked cold turkey at one year with little problem. Never had any significant thumbsucking. Swing chairs were an absolute necessity in the early months. Bumbos are great for expanding their horizons at around 3 months. We used chairs or boppies to prop for feeding so we could do simultaneous bottle feeding. Etc...

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I currently watch 17 month old twins but they were 8 weeks when I started with them so I have A LOT of experience in this area!

When I started, my bosses had them on a awesome schedule so I didn't have to do too much but then they both got RSV and their schedule got messed up while they were in/out of the hospital so we had to work on that again.

*Definitely keep them on the same schedule. If it was feeding time and one woke up before the other, I would wake up the second one within 10-15 minutes to eat also. I know people say not to wake a sleeping baby but it was so important for them to be on the same schedule.

*Always put them down for naps together and ideally, in the same area. My twins slept in their parents room for the first 4 months in a crib and then moved to their own room but I always made sure to put them down for naps together and in the same room/area because they had to get used to each others noises and crys, etc. since they would be sharing a room for years! I didn't want them to get used to sleeping in a quiet room without each other because that wasn't going to be realistic in the future.

*Make sure you give them even attention. I know that may sound hard/be hard but that was a big must for me. If I was holding/rocking one, I always made sure to pick up the other one immediately after and hold him too and give him that one on one bonding time.

*When they are that little, they are so easily portable. We went on daily walks, trips to the grocery store/target/cvs/other errands and they always slept straight through. We had a double snap and go which was a life saver so there was no moving sleeping babies into a regular stroller. We used the snap and go for about 6 months and then got a city mini double.

*Doctors visits can be difficult, especially when their are shots involved. I always made sure to have a bottle prepared for them as soon as they got their shots as that would help soothe them so I could focus on the next one getting examined.

*Lastly, prepare everything in advance!!!! MB pumped/breast fed them for 6 months so every morning when I would come in, I would put all their bottles together for the day so that all I had to do was grab and heat up and didn't have to worry about transferring them from the breast milk bags into the bottle while I had screaming babies. Also, have a diaper station set up with everything!! We spent a lot of time in the downstairs living room for the first couple of months so we had a diaper station set up right in the living room with diapers, wipes, creams, binkies, burp clothes and extra clothes. It's so much easier when everything is in the same room as you so you don't have to worry about running to their room if there is a blow out or someone puked, etc.

Twins are so much fun! Yes, it's hard work but still so much fun! My little guys are 17 months now and are talking and running around and it's crazy thinking how just last summer, they were so little.

[Anonymous]

5:56 here. Not a mom, but nanny to two sets of twins. I totally agree that preparation is key. I used to mix a batch of formula and premeasure bottles for the day in the am. Littlethings like that make a big difference in being able to respond quickly when they are still getting into a routine (plus, for reflux babies, it helps a bit to let formula settle for a few hours IME--less gas).