DB's mom has become incapable of properly caring for NK, how should I address this to my employers?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my nanny family for three in a half years. Often DB's mother will come down for the week, and care for the three children for a few hours so I can work do some things for MB business. She is visiting now, and has been here for two days and I honestly think she is no longer fit to care for the children. She is in poor healthy, and she cannot keep up with them. It is not only bad for her, but for the children as well. Things I have witnessed for these past few days:

-Wipe 9 month olds face with clorox wipe, instead of baby wipe
-Leave 2.5-year-old in bath unattended while she went to go get something from her car (I usually come and check in on things every 20 minutes, but luckily was able to supervise LO till she came back).
-Lay down on floor to get 2.5-year-old to sleep, and was unable to get up on own. She had to call me to help her up.
-Improperly supervised 2.5-year-old for a long enough period so that LO got into her parents bedroom and into the medicine cabinet (this happened before I arrived, but was notified and she had not called poison control or attempted to find out if LO had ingested any medication...she didn't...thank God)
-Essentially not supervise the 5-year-old at all, allowed her to do as she pleases...pretty much the oldest is taking advantage of Grandma, to the point where Grandma has no control over her behavior. I have to be called in from DB office on the monitor to get her to listen to Grandma.
-Put 9-month-old on changing table and walk to other side of the room
-Suffer from dizzy spells so bad, she cannot walk properly


These children are completely overwhelming her, and I truly don't feel like they are safe in her care. I also don't feel like she is safe in her own care. I've told my employers about all above issues individually, but don't know how to express my opinion about the grandmother. I don't know if it is my place, however since I am first in charge when she is around I feel responsible for the situation.

[Anonymous]

Instead of trying to provide an opinion "Grandma is too old to care for the kids" point out the fact and let them use their own judgement.

"I can not work in the business during the time Grandma is here anymore because she needs a great deal of help to handle all 3 kids at the same time."

[Anonymous]

Just say you have some concerns about Grandma and talk to them about the things you saw and especially hoe you had to help her up. Does a Grandma even want to be doing this or is this something she is doing out of grandmotherly obligation?
Maybe a Grandma just wants to visit without having to be in charge of them.

[Anonymous]

Email them the list of incidents. Keep a paper trail. If they continue to ignore it, they are seriously neglecting their children.
You must resign if the parents continue to allow this. Of course you'd be held accountable and legally charged, if anything happens. You know that, don't you?

[Anonymous]

You definitely need to speak to your MB/DB - I like the phrasing that Grandma needs more help and then give examples. The children could be seriously hurt in her care.

[Anonymous]

As long as you informed the parents about the individual situations, then I think you have done enough.

I think the parents should be able to put two and two together to figure out that Grandma is no longer able to do certain things on her own. If they cannot, then they would be pretty clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Email them the list of incidents. Keep a paper trail. If they continue to ignore it, they are seriously neglecting their children.
You must resign if the parents continue to allow this. Of course you'd be held accountable and legally charged, if anything happens. You know that, don't you?

this is not true. if MB is paying her to do other work related stuff, it is on them if their grandmother is negligent in her supervision of her grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Email them the list of incidents. Keep a paper trail. If they continue to ignore it, they are seriously neglecting their children.
You must resign if the parents continue to allow this. Of course you'd be held accountable and legally charged, if anything happens. You know that, don't you?

this is not true. if MB is paying her to do other work related stuff, it is on them if their grandmother is negligent in her supervision of her grandkids.

What makes you think there's a clearly written agreement to that effect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say you have some concerns about Grandma and talk to them about the things you saw and especially hoe you had to help her up. Does a Grandma even want to be doing this or is this something she is doing out of grandmotherly obligation?
Maybe a Grandma just wants to visit without having to be in charge of them.

She loves her grandchildren, but I can tell they stress her out. Whenever she comes over, MB is like "great, now you can go do this". Yet, I'm not getting much done, because I am back and forth to make sure all is ok.

Grandma is the type to never tell MB or DB if something is bothering her, or if she feels ill. I'm honestly horrified she drives herself here, she probably should be driving if she has such frequent dizzy spells.

Makes me a nervous wreck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say you have some concerns about Grandma and talk to them about the things you saw and especially hoe you had to help her up. Does a Grandma even want to be doing this or is this something she is doing out of grandmotherly obligation?
Maybe a Grandma just wants to visit without having to be in charge of them.

She loves her grandchildren, but I can tell they stress her out. Whenever she comes over, MB is like "great, now you can go do this". Yet, I'm not getting much done, because I am back and forth to make sure all is ok.

Grandma is the type to never tell MB or DB if something is bothering her, or if she feels ill. I'm honestly horrified she drives herself here, she probably should be driving if she has such frequent dizzy spells.

Makes me a nervous wreck.

Are MB/DB the kind who would continue to invite her if she weren't free childcare?

[Anonymous]

just be honest with them and tell the parents what you've observed and couch it so it comes from a place of concern for all, especially grandma who deserves to be treated better in her golden years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say you have some concerns about Grandma and talk to them about the things you saw and especially hoe you had to help her up. Does a Grandma even want to be doing this or is this something she is doing out of grandmotherly obligation?
Maybe a Grandma just wants to visit without having to be in charge of them.

She loves her grandchildren, but I can tell they stress her out. Whenever she comes over, MB is like "great, now you can go do this". Yet, I'm not getting much done, because I am back and forth to make sure all is ok.

Grandma is the type to never tell MB or DB if something is bothering her, or if she feels ill. I'm honestly horrified she drives herself here, she probably should be driving if she has such frequent dizzy spells.

Makes me a nervous wreck.

Then you need to talk to them and voice your concerns. They may not be aware or have not accepted that the grandmother needs help, especially if she is the type not to tell them.