Negligent Parents
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Anonymous
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I am a nanny, have been for 8 years and have seen a few red flags. I have two situations I have questions on.
Situation #1: A respectable family, both parents PhD from Ivy League and divorced. I mostly deal with the mother and we just do occasional care at this point. The father does not buckle his 5 y/o in, and has let him sit in the front seat for quite some time. I randomly saw him the other day and the kid wasn't even in the seat, just kind of bopping around the car. The mother doesn't make him put his shoulder belt on, so she is not doing the right thing either. When he is in my car, he is buckled properly without complaint. Should I contact proper authorities? I really feel like I should. I wonder is I am legally obligated. Situation #2: My main family has a 7 and 2 y/o. The 7 year old told me that his mother leaves the 2 y/o home alone during nap time while she picks up the older child from school a couple blocks away. I am not sure if this is true or not. I thought she occasionally got the neighbor to watch the younger child if she was still sleeping, but this makes me wonder. Do I ask her about this? I have spoken to my DH about this and he says I should MYOB. Should I or not? |
Anonymous
Oops! I meant to post this in the general discussion and don't know how to move it. Sorry! Hope I still get some responses! |
Anonymous
please report the first situation ASAP. unless you think that talking to the father, or the mother, may get better results (although if two PHDs don't get by themselves how dangerous is to let a 5 yr old child set in the front, even with a belt, it is hard to believe that you can persuade them to let the child seat in the back in a car seat or with a belt and a booster seat). take a photo of the child in the front, or make sure there are other people who see it. legally obligated or not, are you ready to live with it if the child dies and you did nothing? the second situation is also not good, but to a lesser extent (mother leaves the house for 5 minutes to pick up a child nearby), unless the mother leaves for an extended period of time. can you talk to the mother and make her understand how dangerous this is? or at least that she can be in big troble if something happens? |
Anonymous
| I've nannied for 2 families who don't make there toddler age children sit in car seats or even put on a seat belt. I of course do. I've kept my mouth shut. |
Anonymous
| Are the parents from the first family immigrants? I have noticed that some immigrants do not have the same mindset as most Americans regarding buckling up before driving. In their country, nobody enforces this and it is not uncommon to see children riding unrestrained and on people's laps. You should first remind them of the law before contacting the authorities. |
Anonymous
| Myob you are just looking for trouble. Nosy |
Anonymous
| OP here. In regards to situation #1, the parents are immigrants. I understand it is cultural but they have been here for at least half theirs lives and are well accustomed to the laws. I have spoke to the mother about it, she is aware. I don't feel like I am being nosy. I work with children out of a true love for it, and this does concern me in a big way, both situations concern me. I am not perfect and certainly don't e |
Anonymous
expect anyone else to be, but there are laws in place to protect children that can not make these decisions on their own. This is common sense! So much bad can happen in either of these situations! And again, they are illegal for just that reason. |
Anonymous
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Clearly, OP, you are a saint whose perspective is nuanced and completely honest. I'm especially impressed that, when asked if the family you were judging were immigrants, you immediately confirmed that! Thank you. I can't imagine why you'd neglect to mention that in your OP, but thankfully, subsequent posters helped you clarify your position.
Luckily, your true love guides you well. |
Anonymous
OP, I am 11:58 and I am an immigrant, come to the US in my 30s' and have been here for less than 15 years. please don't buy this crap. there is nothing cultural in being an idiot who does not do the bare minimum to keep his or her own child safe. in my home country a law making car seats mandatory has been introduced relatively recently, but is not enforced very forcefully, and it is not uncommon to see kids riding in cars without being in a car seat. I also grew up in the late 60's early 70s', when car seats and belts did not exist, so I did not have experience with them. I have kids and learned about the importance of always having a child in the car seat, and how the airbag can kill a child under a certain weight and age (10 years, 100 pounds) if the child is allowed to sit in the front. there is no way you live in the US and are an educated person and do not know it. these people are not immigrant with a cultural issue about car seat. these people belong to, hopefully, a minority of idiots, which includes Americans, who put their kids in dangers because they are too lazy to protect them. if you can, report them |
Anonymous
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While this stuff is concerning, OP you have to accept that you cannot save the world.
You can discuss the safety and importance to safety belts in vehicles to both parents as well as any seat belt laws to them and hope it sinks in, but ultimately they will do what they will do. If you called the police or CPS, their resources are pretty tied up so it is highly doubtful they would investigate or do surveillance on the family. As for the second family, you are basically going on what a child is telling you, a very young child. You can bring it up to the mother, but you risk losing your job if you do. This is a touchy matter and if you bring it up, it may not end well. Please consider this fact for both families when deciding if you want to discuss these matters. Good luck and good for you for being a concerned citizen. |