Another Expanding Nanny Job

[Anonymous]

Without giving details, my nanny job is expanding more and more into my off (non-paid) hours. I thought my employers, who know about the "expansion", would compensate me or at least bring it up to me but they haven't. I've never once done them any favor without being asked to do it a second, third and fourth time and then it becomes expected.

Yes, I need to address it with them and yes, I probably should have learned by now never to offer to ever do them any favors - but why? Why can't employers who KNOW that you are doing "above and beyond" for them at least mention that they are grateful?! It's like some weird game of "how much can we get away with".

I'm so tired of this. Please don't tell me they don't know - they do.

I guess this is more of a warning to other nannies who might be as stupid as I have been - DO NOT EVER OFFER TO DO ANYTHING EXTRA FOR YOUR EMPLOYERS.

[Anonymous]

Find a new job.

[Anonymous]

This kind of things happens in all sorts of jobs, not just nannying. Job creep. Employers (or employees) taking advantage.

Stand up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without giving details, my nanny job is expanding more and more into my off (non-paid) hours. I thought my employers, who know about the "expansion", would compensate me or at least bring it up to me but they haven't. I've never once done them any favor without being asked to do it a second, third and fourth time and then it becomes expected.

Yes, I need to address it with them and yes, I probably should have learned by now never to offer to ever do them any favors - but why? Why can't employers who KNOW that you are doing "above and beyond" for them at least mention that they are grateful?! It's like some weird game of "how much can we get away with".

I'm so tired of this. Please don't tell me they don't know - they do.

I guess this is more of a warning to other nannies who might be as stupid as I have been - DO NOT EVER OFFER TO DO ANYTHING EXTRA FOR YOUR EMPLOYERS.

OP, I'm sorry your employers are expecting you to do extra work and not compensating you for it. I don't agree though with the bolded part above. I think that is the case with some employers because they will come to expect extra work but that in not the case with all employers. You definitely need to know your employer though before you do anything extra but in the right relationship it can work well for the nanny as well. For example, my children's nanny does occasionally empty the dishwasher for me if I forget to run it so I have time to empty it. It's definitely not her job to do it and I always tell she can just leave the dirty dishes in the sink but she does it anyway. It happens maybe once a month at most. In return though I try to be extra accommodating for her. When she told me it was her daughter's birthday and she hoped I could be home from work a little early one day I made arrangements for a backup to come and relieve her so she could have the afternoon off and I didn't deduct any of her vacation time for that. The best nanny/parent relationships involve give and take on both sides. I'm sorry you have not had that experience but there are parents out there who DO appreciate the little extra things a nanny does.

[Anonymous]

While I agree that you should stand up for yourself, OP, I also understand that you shouldn't have to. People, especially employers, should know and respect their employees and not continually try to get away with whatever they can. Common courtesy and decency are lost on this new generation of parents.

I write this as a 60 year old woman who has had nannies and house-workers for decades. My daughter-in-law would be considered a "bad MB" on this board and deservedly so.

[Anonymous]

I learned a long time ago not to go above and beyond, or else it becomes your job. I've been at my job 8 years and in the first two years I always tried to be helpful, so now my helpfulness has made grocery shopping, errands, cooking for the parents and cleaning part of my job (no extra pay of course). I have to stop myself from doing little extras because then I know it will be expected and not appreciated. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I agree that you should stand up for yourself, OP, I also understand that you shouldn't have to. People, especially employers, should know and respect their employees and not continually try to get away with whatever they can. Common courtesy and decency are lost on this new generation of parents.

I write this as a 60 year old woman who has had nannies and house-workers for decades. My daughter-in-law would be considered a "bad MB" on this board and deservedly so.

Please don't make generalizations like that. Just because you clearly have issues with your daughter-in-law doesn't mean an entire generation of people are like her.

[Anonymous]

I'm right there with you OP! My MB plays at my sympathies but never follows through with appropriate compensation. She's a single mom, so I'm always trying to do what I can to help, but sometimes I feel like I'm being taken for a ride. I wash the baby's dishes, suddenly her dishes are left for me too. I do the baby's laundry, and I find more and more of her clothing in the basket. I pick up a few things from the grocery store for the baby, now I get a grocery list. Its been almost 3 years of this! Can a sista get a raise???

[Anonymous]

The current breed of young parents are an entitled bunch of egotists. They'll fight and fight for their rights on the job, and then come home and shit on "the help."
If it wasn't so pathetic, it'd be comical. Shame on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without giving details, my nanny job is expanding more and more into my off (non-paid) hours. I thought my employers, who know about the "expansion", would compensate me or at least bring it up to me but they haven't. I've never once done them any favor without being asked to do it a second, third and fourth time and then it becomes expected.

Yes, I need to address it with them and yes, I probably should have learned by now never to offer to ever do them any favors - but why? Why can't employers who KNOW that you are doing "above and beyond" for them at least mention that they are grateful?! It's like some weird game of "how much can we get away with".

I'm so tired of this. Please don't tell me they don't know - they do.

I guess this is more of a warning to other nannies who might be as stupid as I have been - DO NOT EVER OFFER TO DO ANYTHING EXTRA FOR YOUR EMPLOYERS.

Bold is a big part of your problem. If you aren't paid and want to be, bring it up! Like you said yourself: if you didn't learn the first time...or the second.....or the third....?

[Anonymous]

I understand, OP - it has happened to me more times than I can count. Is it really too much to EXPECT just common courtesy and not have to demand it?! I get so tired of it. I love working with kids and I love my charges but the parents are enough to make me find another profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I agree that you should stand up for yourself, OP, I also understand that you shouldn't have to. People, especially employers, should know and respect their employees and not continually try to get away with whatever they can. Common courtesy and decency are lost on this new generation of parents.

I write this as a 60 year old woman who has had nannies and house-workers for decades. My daughter-in-law would be considered a "bad MB" on this board and deservedly so.

Please don't make generalizations like that. Just because you clearly have issues with your daughter-in-law doesn't mean an entire generation of people are like her.

I'm sorry but I agree with the older poster and I'm a part of this younger "MB" generation. We are a rude, entitled bunch as a whole. "Thank you" is the most underused phrase in our generation and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP - I'm sorry. I know exactly what you are going thru. I just get so fricking sick of it, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The current breed of young parents are an entitled bunch of egotists. They'll fight and fight for their rights on the job, and then come home and shit on "the help."
If it wasn't so pathetic, it'd be comical. Shame on them.

Really?? I thought it was the boomers who ended up raising the new crop of millenials who are so overparented and protected that they can't even handle basic responsibilities at work and many of them haven't even launched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The current breed of young parents are an entitled bunch of egotists. They'll fight and fight for their rights on the job, and then come home and shit on "the help."
If it wasn't so pathetic, it'd be comical. Shame on them.

Really?? I thought it was the boomers who ended up raising the new crop of millenials who are so overparented and protected that they can't even handle basic responsibilities at work and many of them haven't even launched.

Yes, the boomers raised this horrid generation we are stuck working for.