looking for a polite way to address last minute schedule changes with mom

[Anonymous]

My boss is constantly changing my schedule last minute from either canceling me coming to adding on extra hours. Most of these changes are things that she has to schedule (music lessons, play dates, etc.) Way in advance. I found out last minute all the time. Yesterday she wanted me to come today for 2 hours, when I get there, she tells me she changed her plans and I need to stay until midnight ( I normally get off at 530 today). I don't want to be rude to her but am not sure how to say politely that I need more notice. I have already been at my first job since 8 am this morning and this is now an incredibly long day for me.

[Anonymous]

You just tell her no, that's not what we discussed and I cannot accommodate that. Unless you want to. You just have to be direct and say you need 48 hrs notice for cancelation and you'll try to accommodate last minute additional hours but you cannot ever guarantee anything since you have other jobs. Be direct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss is constantly changing my schedule last minute from either canceling me coming to adding on extra hours. Most of these changes are things that she has to schedule (music lessons, play dates, etc.) Way in advance. I found out last minute all the time. Yesterday she wanted me to come today for 2 hours, when I get there, she tells me she changed her plans and I need to stay until midnight ( I normally get off at 530 today). I don't want to be rude to her but am not sure how to say politely that I need more notice. I have already been at my first job since 8 am this morning and this is now an incredibly long day for me.

I have already been at my first job since 8 am this morning and this is now an incredibly long day for me. Sounds perfect. Say it. You're an adult too, speak up for yourself

[Anonymous]

Tell her you are unavailable to work late this evening. Ask that from now on she gives you 24 or 48 (whatever amount your comfortable with) hours notice if she needs you to work extra hours. Be honest, and tell her you have other jobs and commitments.

[Anonymous]

Agreeing with the other posters. You need to be able to say no. You also need to not always be available.

Practice things like:
Oh - I'm so sorry but I have plans and won't be able to stay. I am finding it difficult to have such a variable schedule - especially when working two jobs and trying to have a life. I won't be able to be as flexible in the future - I can definitely accommodate almost anything you give me a week's notice for, but for personal reasons I can't be spontaneously giving up evenings or staying extra hours. ETc...

She is taking unfair advantage, but you are allowing it to happen.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I agree - you can be direct and polite. You can say that you aren't able to stay. Let her know that you need notice to change your plans. Be nice about it but be firm. Establish boundaries and show respect for yourself. If you treat yourself with respect, other people are more likely to treat you with respect.