Questions about Helping Incredible Nanny

[Anonymous]

I posted this in the MD forum but it occurs to me that the general questions may belong here:

Our nanny (second mom to our DC) will be available to change another family's life in incredible ways in August. Parameters will be that she will be able to work 2:30 PM to 7 PM M-F but will need to pick up her DC in close-in SS/Takoma Park at around 3:40. Her DC will be 10 (she has become our DC's best friend) and so in some sense this is a "nanny share" some days. The nanny uses her own car, drives our DC to all activities, picks her up from school in NW, etc.,. She has been with our family for 6.5 years. Our DC cannot imagine life without her; neither can we. The individual is trained, certified, exceptional, does housekeeping, shopping, and laundry for us: she is a godsend. We have asked her to relocate with us but she understandably doesn't want to do so. I can barely type this post without crying. She is truly, truly a gift to us and to the other families with whom she has worked in the past. (We are the second family to whom she has been a 'second mom.')

I am struggling with a couple of things in helping her:
1. We have paid her very, very well -- I need to know a good, reasonable estimate for what this kind of child care has vis a vis market rate right now (we are well above $20/hour).
2. She is concerned that she will not have the flexibility we have given her regarding picking up her own child: I believe that it is not as unusual as she might think (given her qualifications, etc.) but I need to help her be realistic. This is not an 'every day' occurrence but it happens most days and probably will until her DC is a bit older.
3. She is actively asking us for help. I am not entirely comfortable using listservs, etc., to help her find a new home: do people have recommendations about services to use, etc.,. We are also talking with our friends, people at our DC's school, etc.,.

TIA

[Anonymous]

Why are you comfortable using DCUM but not a listserv?
the second mom thing is creepy. I'd stop using that phrase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you comfortable using DCUM but not a listserv?
the second mom thing is creepy. I'd stop using that phrase.

What's wrong with being honest? Seems so refreshing around here. I think you're the creepy one. Isn't there actually a book about nannies called "Like a Second Mother"? Not 100% sure if that's exactly right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you comfortable using DCUM but not a listserv?
the second mom thing is creepy. I'd stop using that phrase.

What's wrong with being honest? Seems so refreshing around here. I think you're the creepy one. Isn't there actually a book about nannies called "Like a Second Mother"? Not 100% sure if that's exactly right.

What did I say that was even the slightest bit creepy?
"Creepy: adj. causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease."

Calling her a second mom is creepy. It's very "hand that rocks the cradle" if you're familiar with the movie. There are many other phrases and expressions someone can use to properly convey how important their nanny is.

[Anonymous]

Not creepy at all. It shows the level of trust and respect you have for you nanny, that works WITH you, not FOR you. I don't have any leads for jobs, but wish you the best in helping you search for a new family for your treasured nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not creepy at all. It shows the level of trust and respect you have for you nanny, that works WITH you, not FOR you. I don't have any leads for jobs, but wish you the best in helping you search for a new family for your treasured nanny.

+1

[Anonymous]

Weiiiiird post

[Anonymous]

Bunch of weird PP's.

Sounds like you had a great relationship. Honestly she'd probably be better off moving with you if you were otherwise going to employ her for at least a few years though.