When did you hire your nanny to start work. (Age of child)
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Anonymous
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We are going to have a baby in May, and we we thinking we should start looking for a nanny after the holidays. Both my husband and I plan to take some time off once the baby gets here. 3 months for me, and 1 month for my husband. We don't have reliable family help, so even though one of our mothers might come- we are not counting on it. (They both live overseas). We have been listening to other fort time parents talking about how overwhelming it is, and want to line up some care options. We both want to make sure we are rested and fully present for our baby, so getting some sleep will be important.
Will it be 'strange' having a nanny from week 1 of the baby's birth? Does it make more sense hiring a night nurse? For the first few weeks when it is mostly sleep, wake, feed ( I am hoping to breast feed with formula supplement)- is the Nancy's role to backstop for the charge- cleaning, laundry, etc? Does it make sense to do a part time nanny who evolves into full time when I head back to work? |
Anonymous
| I think what you have in mind sounds strange and will be hard to find someone good. Hire a cleaner who is willing to also cook maybe to come twice a week. Start the nanny a few weeks before you go back to work. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP,
What is the best/most comfortable solution varies from family to family - so you should do whatever seems right for you and your husband. Given that, here are my two cents: - in the first few weeks you will be sleep deprived and that is hard. A night nanny (or night nurse) would be a terrific use of some money (IMO), especially if you plan to do a mix of formula/breast/pumping - then you could just sleep and the overnight person can do feedings. This would be a huge sanity saver. - I don't think you'd be likely to find a nanny who would start part-time and phase into full-time. If someone is looking for a full-time position they won't necessarily want (or be able) to take a part time position for weeks or months. - if you have the baby in May and expect to go back to work in August or September you will be searching for a nanny at around the same time lots of families will be letting their nannies go because the kids will be going to school full-time. That should be great for you in terms of the search. - I didn't start the search for a nanny until after I'd had my twins. My maternity leave schedule was similar to yours and I started looking when the kids were a couple of weeks old. I didn't think that many months lead time would be right for a nanny search - I think those positions turn over with just a handful of weeks and nannies (like all of us) don't like to be out of work. So I wanted to find someone who would be available within a few weeks, not hire someone and hope they would wait a few months. - I wanted a nanny to start while I was still on maternity leave so I could overlap w/ him/her, build some trust, phase back into work, etc... In reality, I overlapped for one full day and a couple of half days and it was more than enough. By the time the nanny started the babies were in a solid routine and I had a handle on things. So my advice is to line up a night nurse for the first few weeks - maybe 3 nights a week (or more if you can afford it), hire/schedule housecleaners to take that off your plate, and then just wait and see. Meet your baby. Get a sense of how you're doing, how you and your husband are coping, what your baby is like, etc... and then start the search. In the meantime, start talking w/ neighbors, putting the word out on neighborhood listservs (or other social networks you have) that you'll be looking for a nanny, talk with other newer moms about how they handled it, etc... Congrats on the baby! |
Anonymous
| We also didn't have nearby family to count on. We chose to not have the nanny start until I was going back to work. We started looking a month before that date. I did working interviews with three candidates before settling on one, who started while I was home for the last three days. |
Anonymous
Thank you for such a thorough answer. I really, really appreciate it, and sounds like a very doable solution for us. |
Anonymous
Did you find that one month gave you enough time to find someone? |
Anonymous
If I were doing it again I would start six weeks out and just be upfront about the date we'd want them to start. We did have enough time, but I was about to settle for someone who was competent but I had not clicked with and was not 100% comfortable with. |
Anonymous
| If you can afford to pay the nanny starting when the baby is born-- I think it could be a good idea. Just be very clear with the candidate that you need help while on maternity leave to include- adult and baby laundry, housekeeping, looking after the baby and cooking. That way, you can have a helping hand when you need it and get used to the nanny at the same time. In my opinion, anyone who would NOT want this position because you would be on maternity leave or because they didn't want to help around the house wouldn't be a good fit anyhow. One thing I love about my nanny is that she is always looking for how she can be helpful. When I had my second child, she would make breakfast and bring it to my room while I nursed baby and would get dinner ready in the afternoon while I played with my children. I usually let her go early some afternoons but kept paying the same hours. It really made life a lot easier. |
Anonymous
Nanny here. I just wanted to chime in and disagree that not wanting to work during maternity leave means a nanny isn't hard-working or helpful. Any family I have worked for will tell you that I do anything and everything I can think of to be helpful, but I wouldn't want the initial months of bonding with a new charge and finding a good rhythm to be spent mostly in the background and with MB and DB breathing down my neck every minute. I would much rather start at a point when MB and DB have had some time to figure out what their parenting style is and be able to communicate clearly and my focus can be on building a relationship with my charge. |
Anonymous
+100 Seriously, PP, your nanny brought you breakfast? That's just weird. OP, a good newborn nanny is not going to be ok with being your housekeeper for the first few months. Spend some time with your new baby as a family, get to know what works for you and what kind of schedule works for your baby. I know it may seem daunting, but, really after the first few weeks you will likely find that you are just fine on your own and having another adult around all of the time will just be awkward for both of you. 6 weeks before you go back to work is more than enough time to find a qualified caregiver and for you both to feel comfortable with each other. |
Anonymous
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OP, my nanny started 8 weeks after DD was born, but I was hoping for someone at more like 6 weeks so I could start working part time but we love our nanny and she wanted 4 weeks at her old job to wrap things up.
We had a night nurse the first 3-4 weeks, which worked out well. An experienced night nurse will do the things you need right after birth and is actually there at night, when it is especially helpful. A nanny probably won't want to do those things. My advice is to get a night nurse for right after the birth and then start looking for a nanny after about 2-3 weeks. You also want to see how nannies you interview react to your child and to you (although I didn't let nannies that interviewed hold the newborn, but did let our nanny do so after she was hired of course.) |
Anonymous
| I am the PP who had our nanny during my maternity leave-- and I was specifically looking for someone who would fit in as part of our family. I knew that anyone who would feel oppressed with someone else in the house would be an awful fit for us. We have grandparents coming to visit often, I have an erratic work schedule and so we needed someone who wouldn't mind eating meals with family and who would be happy to help out when needed. We have a weekly housekeeper, so no one ever asked her to scrub the floors or toilets. How is it odd for our nanny to thoughtfully make breakfast for everyone and bring it to me when I am nursing a newborn? Not any more strange than me taking the coffee pot to the living room to fill my nanny's cup when it is low. She will happily go to the musuem with my dad and our children and will make lunch for us all to eat together when my work schedule will allow. She has more than 20 years of experience and is a wonderful nanny who has been a great addition to our family for more than 5 years. OP- this type of nanny is available-- you just have to look for someone who is happy to be part of a family. |
Anonymous
| One job hired me to begin ten days before the baby's due date. They wanted me to "get comfortable" and arrange everything the way I wanted. It was a M-F live-in position. |