What is your best question during matching?

[Anonymous]

What is your go to question?

I am down to two girls that I really like. I can't really pick between them. Both have great personalities and the skills/experience I need. Sporty, highly motivated and interested.

Briefly,...

1) Only child, but her dad died early, so she has had to mature quickly. Takes care of cousins. Variety in experience (babysitting, coaching, tutoring, kindergarten). Gold swimming badge and seems to be a strong swimmer and driver. Plays volleyball and plays an instrument. Gymnasium education. Wants to be in sports management or teacher. She seems really into it and excited. Spent a lot of time on her application and provided great information/depth. Only thing might be she seems to be very 'German' in her personality evaluation...structured, direct, goal oriented. Might be hard to connect with kids, after a more laid-back au pair (current).

2) Perky, outgoing and seems happy. Eats whatever. Experience with variety of kids and has been a waitress (good job experience). One younger sibling. Led church group. Vocational school. Interested in volleyball and seems sporty. Wants to be a teacher. Likes indoor and outdoorsy stuff. Motivated by aunt who was an au pair and future career. Wants to be 'big sister' to kids and talks about wanting a relationship with family. English was good, understood most questions. Skyped with my boys and they talked a lot with her and she asked a lot of questions.

Thanks!!

[Anonymous]

If you need a driver, then really really really focus on driving. I make sure to tell all candidates I'm serious about that we have rematched over driving (we have) and that we need someone who is very confident and comfortable behind the wheel. Rather than asking "have you driven in snow or ice?" I ask, "When was the last time you drove in snow or ice? Where exactly did you go? Who was in the car with you at the time? When was the last time you felt unsure in a driving situation? where exactly were you and in what conditions? What did you do? Who was in the car with you?"

Rather than the generic "What do you like to do with children?" I ask specific questions about our situation: If child X wanted to Y and child A wanted to do B, what would you do? When, specifically, have you been in a childcare situation where children were on different developmental levels and wanted to do different things?"

The more specific I get in my questioning and the more specific I ask them to be in the answers, the less I find they resort to generalities and banalities like "I love spending time with children, they make me so happy, etc" - which gives me the warm fuzzies but doesn't help me pick a good candidate.

About your two specific candidates: I have found that I'm best picking the one I connect with more. If I really like someone and want to help her do well, then she will become better through the year, whether she starts at OK or at excellent. if I don't like someone much and don't connect well on a personal level, then the AP will stay at whatever level she arrives - fine, ok, good - but rarely will progress to real excellence.

Good luck in your choice. Both candidates look good - just really different.

[Anonymous]

I agree that driving skill should be your first question. And not just "are you comfortable driving with kids?" But rather - how frequently do you drive? When did you start driving? Do you own your own car? What types of driving do you do? Etc.

The second thing I would ask is "tell me about a time you had to stick with something that was really challenging."

[Anonymous]

OP here...Thanks!

#1 is from Germany and #2 is from Austria and I have asked them about driving...they both have experience driving with kids and bad winter conditions.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

just wanted to give my input since you mentioned one candidate is Austrian.

Generally, the driving skills of Germans are a LOT BETTER than the Austrians. Also, if you value honesty and straightforwardness, Austrian may not be the way to go. In my experience, Austrians value appearance a lot more than actuality. They find it difficult to admit a mistake or that they were wrong and are quickly to blame others or distract. It is very difficult to built trust with a care provider who, seemingly arbitrarily, determines what to tell you and what not. They do, however, have a more cheerful and fun personality.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP.

I actually am back to the drawing board. I haven't heard back from the first one (from Germany), and the second one I found out that she lied about having a boyfriend and smoking.

Oh well...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

just wanted to give my input since you mentioned one candidate is Austrian.

Generally, the driving skills of Germans are a LOT BETTER than the Austrians. Also, if you value honesty and straightforwardness, Austrian may not be the way to go. In my experience, Austrians value appearance a lot more than actuality. They find it difficult to admit a mistake or that they were wrong and are quickly to blame others or distract. It is very difficult to built trust with a care provider who, seemingly arbitrarily, determines what to tell you and what not. They do, however, have a more cheerful and fun personality.

What is this information based on?
Did you Google Austrian stereotypes?

[Anonymous]

I am sorry. It looks like such a crap shoot.

[Anonymous]

Germans started two world wars. Austria did WWI after Archduke Gerdonand shot . Both are war mongering nstions so you should find someone from Switzerland. Germans are very bossy, click tjeir heels, Achtung, snell!

Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Have to agree the Austrian stereotype was very odd.

[Anonymous]

I am a new poster on this thread and would really appreciate more input on this topic. We have already had one potential AP who sounded good in terms of experience and references back out before we could even interview her, saying that she decided to go travelling instead.

So, what do you even look for in applications, and what approach do you take in emails etc? I'm worried I might actually be giving too much info in our introductory email, and that the photos that I provide of our house and the au pair's room make it look unappealing (our house is not huge but we live in a great area, and the AP room is a good size with a great TV). I want to be above board on everything so an AP is not disappointed, but at the same time I don't want to short sell ourselves. Any advice appreciated!

[Anonymous]

I like 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like 2.

Well, she's still available if you want her. She is a smoker and has a long term BF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a new poster on this thread and would really appreciate more input on this topic. We have already had one potential AP who sounded good in terms of experience and references back out before we could even interview her, saying that she decided to go travelling instead.

So, what do you even look for in applications, and what approach do you take in emails etc? I'm worried I might actually be giving too much info in our introductory email, and that the photos that I provide of our house and the au pair's room make it look unappealing (our house is not huge but we live in a great area, and the AP room is a good size with a great TV). I want to be above board on everything so an AP is not disappointed, but at the same time I don't want to short sell ourselves. Any advice appreciated!

NP here. Are you new to APs?

Here is my criteria:
1) Must have held full-time job for at least some time
2) Must be 21+
3) Must have a lot of experience with non-relative children
4) Must have done housework regularly before.
5) Must be confident/experience driver

After that we go on personality - see if we click. She needs to have a good sense of humor, be independent and have some post-highschool education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a new poster on this thread and would really appreciate more input on this topic. We have already had one potential AP who sounded good in terms of experience and references back out before we could even interview her, saying that she decided to go travelling instead.

So, what do you even look for in applications, and what approach do you take in emails etc? I'm worried I might actually be giving too much info in our introductory email, and that the photos that I provide of our house and the au pair's room make it look unappealing (our house is not huge but we live in a great area, and the AP room is a good size with a great TV). I want to be above board on everything so an AP is not disappointed, but at the same time I don't want to short sell ourselves. Any advice appreciated!

NP here. Are you new to APs?

Here is my criteria:
1) Must have held full-time job for at least some time
2) Must be 21+
3) Must have a lot of experience with non-relative children
4) Must have done housework regularly before.
5) Must be confident/experience driver

After that we go on personality - see if we click. She needs to have a good sense of humor, be independent and have some post-highschool education.

This is our list too except for the housework - though I can see this being useful because it shows they are not used to be catered to. I would also add - has lived away from home for at least a few months. And no boyfriend back home.