Kid's Birthday?

[Anonymous]

Am I under obligation to attend a child's birthday party? Yes, I love my charges very much but I do not think of a party filled with children and other adults I will not know as a good time. I also like my free time for myself. However, my charge has expressed how much he wants me to come to his birthday and I feel he will be hurt if I do not come. Does this make me look like a bad employer?

[Anonymous]

Show up for the last half hour. If the kid hadn't asked you personally I would say to skip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Show up for the last half hour. If the kid hadn't asked you personally I would say to skip it.

+1. If it was just the parents inviting you I'd say you don't have to go but I think your charge would be really disappointed if you didn't come at all. I totally understand why you wouldn't want to go but if you can say you have plans earlier but you will come for the last half hour I think that would make your charge really happy. I think it's sweet he wants you to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Show up for the last half hour. If the kid hadn't asked you personally I would say to skip it.

+1. If it was just the parents inviting you I'd say you don't have to go but I think your charge would be really disappointed if you didn't come at all. I totally understand why you wouldn't want to go but if you can say you have plans earlier but you will come for the last half hour I think that would make your charge really happy. I think it's sweet he wants you to come.

Thanks guys!

[Anonymous]

I'd almost say go for the first half hour, saying you have plans after. All the kids birthdays I've been too seem to stretch longer and then I'm trying to come up with an excuse on the fly.. Something like, charge, I have plans that afternoon, but I can come from 12-12:30 or whatever..

[Anonymous]

No. I'd invite you to be polite and because I wanted you there but would have no expectation you come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd almost say go for the first half hour, saying you have plans after. All the kids birthdays I've been too seem to stretch longer and then I'm trying to come up with an excuse on the fly.. Something like, charge, I have plans that afternoon, but I can come from 12-12:30 or whatever..

Agree. Show up at the start and leave early because of plans. I'd be willing to bet that once he sees you, he'll be so busy with his friends that he won't mind when you leave.

[Anonymous]

My DD has had the same nanny for five years, basically her whole life. The first few years, we didn't invite her to birthdays or anything because we didn't want her to feel obligated to come to our house on her day off.

The last two years, DD has been inviting the nanny on her own to come to her birthdays. I talked to the nanny about it and told her that she didn't have to come and had a talk with DD about how she and nanny could have a separate birthday celebration because nanny might have plans on her party day. DD was ok with this.

Nanny, though said she would love to come. I made it clear that she was free to come and go as she liked and was expected only to be a guest and have a good time...she was not responsible for looking after kids or cleaning up or anything that looks like work.

So, the last few years nanny has dropped in for part of the celebration, had cake with us and hung out with the adults and left when she felt like it. It's great. She is an important part of DD's life and we all love her. If she decided she didn't want to attend, it would be fine.

No good MB would think poorly of you as an employee if you didn't attend a birthday party. If an MB did, you need a new job.

[Anonymous]

Don't go. You'll either end up involved in what the kids are doing and basically working for free, or you'll stand around feeling awkward while the kids do their thing and your employers chit-chat with their parent friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has had the same nanny for five years, basically her whole life. The first few years, we didn't invite her to birthdays or anything because we didn't want her to feel obligated to come to our house on her day off.

The last two years, DD has been inviting the nanny on her own to come to her birthdays. I talked to the nanny about it and told her that she didn't have to come and had a talk with DD about how she and nanny could have a separate birthday celebration because nanny might have plans on her party day. DD was ok with this.

Nanny, though said she would love to come. I made it clear that she was free to come and go as she liked and was expected only to be a guest and have a good time...she was not responsible for looking after kids or cleaning up or anything that looks like work.

So, the last few years nanny has dropped in for part of the celebration, had cake with us and hung out with the adults and left when she felt like it. It's great. She is an important part of DD's life and we all love her. If she decided she didn't want to attend, it would be fine.

No good MB would think poorly of you as an employee if you didn't attend a birthday party. If an MB did, you need a new job.

I think this is great how you handled the situation with your nanny and I'd like to think OPs NF is the same but the reason I think the nanny should go has nothing to do with the parents. You are right that a good MB would never think poorly of the nanny for not coming but the child specifically said how much he wants her to come. If the parents were smart they'd do what you did but if they didn't then he will be disappointed. I know it's not the nanny's job to parent the child but if it's not super inconvenient and she does love the child I don't think it will kill her to show up briefly, say she has somewhere else to be and make the child happy she came for a short time.

[Anonymous]

In this country, you are free to accept or decline invitation to any social gathering. So, no, ou do not have to go to kid's birthday party. Most likely, your MB only wants free work from you.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough call OP.

If I were in your shoes, I would make an appearance if it will make your charge happy. Why not? It cannot hurt.

You don't have to stay for the duration.