Scared to hire another live in nanny.. was my first one out of the ordinary or were my second two?

[Anonymous]

We have now been through three live in nannies in six months and I am almost feeling as if I have PTSD from the whole situation.

Nanny #1: Summer nanny who was temporary from the get go (to give us an idea of whether the live in situation would be a good fit for us, before we got into a long term contract). She was fabulous. Loved her. She did everything we asked, followed directions perfectly, plus she was a really nice person and we actually got along really well.. super friendly. I even sort of missed her when she would go away for the weekend. She spent a good amount of time at her boyfriend's house, especially on weekends.. had lots of friends in the area as well and saw them frequently too.

Nanny #2: Despite the fact that she was living with us, was never on time EVER. Would show up hours late after going out shopping when she was supposed to be on duty, with no explanation. We had to part ways very quickly and we chalked it up to her young age and a lack of professionalism.

Nanny #3: Was seemingly great with our daughter, but a little eccentric. It seemed like she was always here on her off hours and she sort of took over different common areas of the house, like the playroom turned into her personal space. (She had a lot of personal space to begin with!). Then we found out that she had been drinking all of our alcohol (which was obviously not allowed per the contract- and when I say all, I mean our liquor cabinet was completely emptied, it just took us a while to notice because we don't drink a lot) and stealing prescription drugs from us. Obviously we had to let her go immediately.

After the trainwreck that was Nanny #3, it feels so nice to be able to come home with no one here and not have to worry about how she would leave her crap everywhere and just ALWAYS. BE. HERE. I am trying to now figure out if she annoyed me so much because she was crazy, or if I would be annoyed by any live in nanny. Maybe the reason I liked the first one so much was because she wasn't around all that much? Is it typical for most live ins to spend all saturday and sunday hanging around common areas of the house? I guess I'm tryng to figure out if #1 was the exception rather than the norm, or if I just had a round of shitty luck with the second two.

[Anonymous]

Most people who hire nannies don't know how to, and the child suffers, again and again. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people who hire nannies don't know how to, and the child suffers, again and again. So sad.

Do you just sit around waiting for a post to come up that you can tie into your endless rant on multiple nannies? Seriously, give it the f up.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the PP. Your child is surely better off now.

What are the living arrangements like? If the nanny only has a bedroom and bathroom (that she possibly shares?) then I can see why she'd want to spend time in the common areas.

However, from your post, it sounds like you know the exact kind of nanny that would suit your needs: one who has a lot of friends in the area, and one who is gone frequently over the weekends. This is not a bad thing! It's something you need to look for when interviewing.

Also, based on the pill and liquor stealing nanny, I'd get more references from future candidates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who hire nannies don't know how to, and the child suffers, again and again. So sad.

Do you just sit around waiting for a post to come up that you can tie into your endless rant on multiple nannies? Seriously, give it the f up.

Endless nannies are a good thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who hire nannies don't know how to, and the child suffers, again and again. So sad.

Do you just sit around waiting for a post to come up that you can tie into your endless rant on multiple nannies? Seriously, give it the f up.

Lmao +100000 It wouldn't surprise me if the PP you quoted is the same loser who calls troll on every post. If not then both are always one of the firsts to comment so it makes me think they just sit around all day. I REALLY hope it's not a nanny because then their charges would def be suffering.

[Anonymous]

OP, there are other threads in this forums where you can find great info on how to hire a nanny (just ignore the annoying troll, here), especially on obtaining multiple references for each and how to verify that they are real. the fact that you got one temporary nanny and two bad ones should make you consider whether you are paying too low and attracting bad candidates. also, your mention of not liking a nanny in your common spaces should make you consider whether you are better off with a nanny who does not live with you. some people are more quiet than others and do not like spending the entire week end outside. if they only have a bedroom, it is unreasonable to expect that they spend it in their room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who hire nannies don't know how to, and the child suffers, again and again. So sad.

Do you just sit around waiting for a post to come up that you can tie into your endless rant on multiple nannies? Seriously, give it the f up.

Lmao +100000 It wouldn't surprise me if the PP you quoted is the same loser who calls troll on every post. If not then both are always one of the firsts to comment so it makes me think they just sit around all day. I REALLY hope it's not a nanny because then their charges would def be suffering.

+20000 My guess is PP is either 1. a bad nanny who uses this as a reason to try to hold onto her job, 2. a SAHM who doesn't like WOHM or 3. None of the above and a really bored loser with no job who likes to hide behind the anonymity of DCUM to stir up controversy because they have such low self esteem it makes them feel better about themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are other threads in this forums where you can find great info on how to hire a nanny (just ignore the annoying troll, here), especially on obtaining multiple references for each and how to verify that they are real. the fact that you got one temporary nanny and two bad ones should make you consider whether you are paying too low and attracting bad candidates. also, your mention of not liking a nanny in your common spaces should make you consider whether you are better off with a nanny who does not live with you. some people are more quiet than others and do not like spending the entire week end outside. if they only have a bedroom, it is unreasonable to expect that they spend it in their room.

This PP brings up some really good points.

[Anonymous]

Would you consider hiring a live-out nanny? That way you get care and don't have to deal with sometime in your space during your nights and weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who hire nannies don't know how to, and the child suffers, again and again. So sad.

Do you just sit around waiting for a post to come up that you can tie into your endless rant on multiple nannies? Seriously, give it the f up.

Endless nannies are a good thing?

If OP thought it was a good thing, she wouldn't be scared to hire another one.

[nannydebsays]

OP, you need a Live-OUT nanny. There's nothing at all wrong with not wanting to have someone in your home all the time, but it excludes you from hiring a Live-IN.

That said, you need to screen much more effectively, and you need to evaluate your pay and benefits package.

If you hire live-in nannies because they are a cheaper option, and you can't afford to pay more for a live-out nanny, then you need to consider another form of childcare entirely.

[Anonymous]

OP, listen to nannydeb. She is, like usual, spot on. Why in the world would you hire a live-in nanny if you have such an issue with somebody being in your home all the time?

[Anonymous]

Lots of parents have this same conundrum, not just OP.

[Anonymous]

How old are these nannies ? Have you thought about hiring someone older maybe 30's who has great references ??

As a live in nanny I spend alot of time at home when I'm not working but almost always in my own room. I do eat dinner with the family most nights. But I like my own space. I'm rather quiet. I have never left anything in a common area of the house that wasn't a pair of shoes.

You can always ask in an interview how she has handled living in someone else's home. I get asked this question all the time. I usually say that I like my own time when in off work but that I do enjoy eating dinner with the family and celebrating occasions weather it be hanging out during a birthday part or eating thanksging dinner. My family is thousands of miles away or I would go there for holidays of course. Best of luck in finding a new nanny if that's what you choose. I think you should try and ask more questions and check references. You can ask the references if they were late, a slob, an alcoholic.