Possibly moving abroad - when to tell nanny?

[Anonymous]

We have a fabulous new nanny (been with us several months) who is highly regarded in our neighborhood. It is now looking increasingly likely that we will be transferred abroad next summer for work. We feel terribly because we made a long-term commitment to her, but we obviously cannot turn down this opportunity.

The relocation is not yet a done deal, but we are struggling with when to tell the nanny once it is finalized. We would very much like - and need - her to stay until we move next summer. We have no doubt that she will find a job right away as soon as people in the neighborhood know she's looking. We are contemplating offering her a retention bonus on the order of one to two months salary if she stays until we leave.

When would you tell your nanny? What do you think is an appropriate retention bonus?

For the nannies out there, when would you want to know and what would you do? What would it take for you to stay until the family moved?

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a fabulous new nanny (been with us several months) who is highly regarded in our neighborhood. It is now looking increasingly likely that we will be transferred abroad next summer for work. We feel terribly because we made a long-term commitment to her, but we obviously cannot turn down this opportunity.

The relocation is not yet a done deal, but we are struggling with when to tell the nanny once it is finalized. We would very much like - and need - her to stay until we move next summer. We have no doubt that she will find a job right away as soon as people in the neighborhood know she's looking. We are contemplating offering her a retention bonus on the order of one to two months salary if she stays until we leave.

When would you tell your nanny? What do you think is an appropriate retention bonus?

For the nannies out there, when would you want to know and what would you do? What would it take for you to stay until the family moved?

Thanks in advance.

if you are so sure that she is going to find a job right away as soon as you tell her, where is the problem? why don't you just wait until the spring and then give her 4 weeks notice? I would not tell her now, especially if you are not even sure that you are going to move

[Anonymous]

Nanny here,

This actually happened to me. I was in a nanny share and one of the families were going to move and sell their condo. I was given a bonus for staying even though I knew they were leaving and was told that I would get another bonus once the sale of the condo closed.

They moved before the sale of the condo and never gave me the other bonus. However, if you want her to stay, I agree with providing her with some sort of retention bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a fabulous new nanny (been with us several months) who is highly regarded in our neighborhood. It is now looking increasingly likely that we will be transferred abroad next summer for work. We feel terribly because we made a long-term commitment to her, but we obviously cannot turn down this opportunity.

The relocation is not yet a done deal, but we are struggling with when to tell the nanny once it is finalized. We would very much like - and need - her to stay until we move next summer. We have no doubt that she will find a job right away as soon as people in the neighborhood know she's looking. We are contemplating offering her a retention bonus on the order of one to two months salary if she stays until we leave.

When would you tell your nanny? What do you think is an appropriate retention bonus?

For the nannies out there, when would you want to know and what would you do? What would it take for you to stay until the family moved?

Thanks in advance.

if you are so sure that she is going to find a job right away as soon as you tell her, where is the problem? why don't you just wait until the spring and then give her 4 weeks notice? I would not tell her now, especially if you are not even sure that you are going to move

Sounds like your one of those MBs that only think about themselves.

OP, please inform her ASAP as she will most likely not stay. If you know how quickly she can get a job offer then she knows as well and will not have a hard time finding another position soon before or after ending with you.

[Anonymous]

^^^Meant, she will most likely stay^^^

[Anonymous]

OP here - We obviously aren't telling anyone (her included) until it is a sure thing, but we didn't want to wait until just four weeks out because that feels like a lie of omission, we will surely need to tell the children before then, and she'll notice the efforts to pack up the house. And it'd be nice to tell the neighbors with whom we are friendly, etc.

I guess I was hoping that since she'll have no problem finding another job, she'd stay because she is settled in with us, we'll give her a bonus, and she'll find a job just as easily if she leaves right when we tell her versus when we actually move.

[Anonymous]

I would let her know once you know for sure you are relocating. Its a good idea to offer the retention bonus, and good for you to recognize that everything may not work out according to your timeline. She must look out for herself, just as you will look out for your own family. It can be tricky business lining up start and end dates of two positions and her loyalty will have to be to her new bosses. The retention bonus, if significant, will help to ease the pressure of finding a position that starts directly after yours ends or even before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - We obviously aren't telling anyone (her included) until it is a sure thing, but we didn't want to wait until just four weeks out because that feels like a lie of omission, we will surely need to tell the children before then, and she'll notice the efforts to pack up the house. And it'd be nice to tell the neighbors with whom we are friendly, etc.

I guess I was hoping that since she'll have no problem finding another job, she'd stay because she is settled in with us, we'll give her a bonus, and she'll find a job just as easily if she leaves right when we tell her versus when we actually move.

Just tell her when you know it is definite. My last family moved about an hours commute away. They told me four months in advance and I stayed with them up until the day they moved (no retention bonus necessary) because I loved the kids and my job. If your nanny is as great as you think she is, she will likely do the same. Most nannies are used to positions ending and are not going to leave at the drop of a hat when they find out things are changing.

[Anonymous]

You're making a pretty big assumption that finding a new position will be easy. It may not be. She may be fabulous, but she may be expensive, or your timeline may be inconvenient, or there simply may not be many jobs from which to choose from at that time. Recognize that she may have difficulty, and she may need to take what she can get when she can get it.

[Anonymous]

Of course, your needs are far more important than the nanny's. Afterall, sbe is the helo and her sole mission in life is to wait on low-life's like you.

You tell her now that this is a very good possibity but you will let her know definitely AS SOON AS YOU KNOW so that she has plenty of time to look for a new job. Then you tell her that you want her to stay until you leave and that you will pay her extra . However, if she finds another job that you will understand and she MUST DO WHAT ISBRST FOR HER.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her a month before you're leaving. Same as you'd tell her if you were deciding to use daycare instead. Write her a lovely reference letter if she deserves one.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm a nanny who loves her job and the people I work for (parents AND kids) and I would want to know ASAP if there was a likely chance they were moving abroad, and would want to know again when it was confirmed, but would not leave "early" if I could help it.

However, if they wanted me to stay until the last day of June and I had to choose between a job that began June 15 or a job that began July 15, a retention bonus would go a long way in keeping me on until the very end. If you absolutely need to have her until a certain date and would be stressed and scrambling if she left early, a retention bonus/generous severance would be a good idea. If you have family in the area or have more flexibility with childcare coverage should her new position start before you're moving, just make sure to give her as much notice as possible (and recognize that she might need an hour or two off here and there for interviews and may, in fact, need to finish with you a couple of weeks early).

But the worst thing you can do is wait until the last possible minute (four weeks notice?) AND not give a hearty bonus/severance. Even for great nannies it can be a month or two to find a position (maybe they're too expensive, it's a slow time of year, they aren't the right fit for the families that are hiring, etc. etc.) and the best budgeters among us would still struggle without an income for that long. It sounds like you're a thoughtful and reasonable employer, so do what feels right to you.

[Anonymous]

I disagree that the worst thing she can do is honor the contract notice period of four weeks. There is nothing wrong with a four week notice time, in fact, that is generous. Looking for a job is tough on everyone in nearly every industry. There is nothing especially difficult in the nanny world that requires employers to give them bonuses and severance outside of the norm.

All that said, in an international move, I'd probably tell the nanny as soon as it was set because she would notice the plans and packing, etc. I might offer her a retention bonus if she stayed until the end, but I would also be fully prepared for her to leave as soon as she heard.

Loyalty to families is not something I hear from nannies here very much, so I figure it's normal for them to jump ship as soon as they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that the worst thing she can do is honor the contract notice period of four weeks. There is nothing wrong with a four week notice time, in fact, that is generous. Looking for a job is tough on everyone in nearly every industry. There is nothing especially difficult in the nanny world that requires employers to give them bonuses and severance outside of the norm.

All that said, in an international move, I'd probably tell the nanny as soon as it was set because she would notice the plans and packing, etc. I might offer her a retention bonus if she stayed until the end, but I would also be fully prepared for her to leave as soon as she heard.

Loyalty to families is not something I hear from nannies here very much, so I figure it's normal for them to jump ship as soon as they can.

Actually nannies by nature are quite loyal. We are givers, and caretakers. What you see here is the bitterness that results from giving and giving for years and continually getting screwed/being undervalued. It is a vicious cycle. Nanny gets mistreated. Nanny puts up walls and acts a little crazy. New family thinks all nannies are this way, and they begin to treat subsequent nannies coldly, so on and so forth.