Thinking of letting go part-time babysitter

[Anonymous]

I work part-time and have a babysitter for 9 hours per week split between 2 days. I think I hired to young, the babysitter is 18 y.o. and when I have checked on her on our drop cam (she knows it is there), she is always sitting down, mostly by herself, playing with her phone. During dinner she is sitting at the other side of our kitchen playing on her phone while my 1 year old and 4 year old are at the other side of the kitchen eating. She is sitting by herself while my 4 year old is playing by himself and the baby is sleeping.
She seems to think that her job is to supervise and keep them safe, but not necessarily to engage them in play. I feel like these are small issues, but since she is new (I had 2 great babysitters before) I am thinking maybe I should get someone who will be more active and not just sit on the couch (she is overweight so possible that is a factor). She also seems to get pretty frustrated with the energy of my 4 year old, and doesn't want him to mess up the house with his toys.

[Anonymous]

I am overweight and never sitting down, always moving. Please do not believe the stereotype that all fat people are lazy.

If you want someone to engage with your kids more, then tell her you want her to be an active participant in their play. I would not play with kids while they are eating, bit other than that. I absolutely would.

[Anonymous]

OP here, Sorry to offend. I am not saying she should play when they eat, but she should be helping them with meals especially my 1 year old. Not sitting on the other side of the room on her phone.

[Anonymous]

You are calling her a babysitter and not a nanny.

Yes I do things a bit differently when I am babysitting vs nanning. But my rates are different.

If you want a nanny (and with the low hours you may have a hard time) than you will need to look for a nanny - and pay more perhaps.

She is young and I am sure other babysitting jobs for her are just sitting around while the kids play (which yes she should ingage but children need alone time too and not full 24 hour playmates). Try to remember (if you did) any babysitting as a teen or college student.

Perhaps talk to her first and see what is going on. She may really not think anything of it. I have an 19 year old sister and I can't get her off her phone! To her it is just a part of life (and something they (the younger generation) will learn someday that it is not your whole life). If she is never told it is wrong than how will she know. Yes she is 18 - but has she held any other job besides babysitting? Just because she is legally an adult doesn't make it so.

[Anonymous]

**engage**

[Anonymous]

I have a 13 yr old mother's helper who is far more actively engaged w/ my kids than what you're describing. You're not wrong to want more actual attention being paid.

[Anonymous]

The key word is "babysitter."

[Anonymous]

OP, it's pretty obvious that you should find a new caregiver. For 9 hours a week you are likely to find someone who approaches the position from more of a "sitter" perspective, but that is no reason for you to settle on someone this awful. You would have no problem finding someone with perhaps a bit less experience, but who would do a fantastic job of engaging your children none the less.

[Anonymous]

She's no good - replace her.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford a better person?

[Anonymous]

Well, she is 18 so I am not sure what you expected, they are addicted to their phones :-/ as an after-school sitter myself, while the kids are eating (5 & 8) I do text/check email but they're eating... Or sometimes I bring my dinner along an eat with them. I will admit, i clean the kitchen as i cook dinner so sometimes there's nothing for me to do! i talk to the boys about their day on our way back their home, so we've talked and played while dinner was cooking.Now, I do think if one kid is sleeping and only one is awake, she should at least play with the kid who's awake.

[Anonymous]

I think you hired way too young OP.

I know I will probably get flamed for saying this, but when hiring younger sitters, there is a higher possibility that they will be less interactive w/the children and more engaged w/their cell phones. It is just the generation they were raised in. Technology is a HUGE part of their upbringing. Their phones are practically glued to their hips and they need to be available to their friends and family at all times. They need to update their Facebook status two to three times a day as well as their Twitter, etc. It's the sign of their time.

Older women who weren't raised like this do not have to depend on their phones to function.
They remember how it was when these devices didn't exist and how they survived w/out them and were just fine. They do not feel as if they need to be reachable at all times.

I would highly recommend hiring someone 30 and above. This person would be much more mature and have the life experience and the common sense to know that sitting on the couch playing on your phone does not equate "work" in today's society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you hired way too young OP.

I know I will probably get flamed for saying this, but when hiring younger sitters, there is a higher possibility that they will be less interactive w/the children and more engaged w/their cell phones. It is just the generation they were raised in. Technology is a HUGE part of their upbringing. Their phones are practically glued to their hips and they need to be available to their friends and family at all times. They need to update their Facebook status two to three times a day as well as their Twitter, etc. It's the sign of their time.

Older women who weren't raised like this do not have to depend on their phones to function.
They remember how it was when these devices didn't exist and how they survived w/out them and were just fine. They do not feel as if they need to be reachable at all times.

I would highly recommend hiring someone 30 and above. This person would be much more mature and have the life experience and the common sense to know that sitting on the couch playing on your phone does not equate "work" in today's society.

Silly post. We could just as easily prove that middle-aged people are addicted to their phones and could not live without them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you hired way too young OP.

I know I will probably get flamed for saying this, but when hiring younger sitters, there is a higher possibility that they will be less interactive w/the children and more engaged w/their cell phones. It is just the generation they were raised in. Technology is a HUGE part of their upbringing. Their phones are practically glued to their hips and they need to be available to their friends and family at all times. They need to update their Facebook status two to three times a day as well as their Twitter, etc. It's the sign of their time.

Older women who weren't raised like this do not have to depend on their phones to function.
They remember how it was when these devices didn't exist and how they survived w/out them and were just fine. They do not feel as if they need to be reachable at all times.

I would highly recommend hiring someone 30 and above. This person would be much more mature and have the life experience and the common sense to know that sitting on the couch playing on your phone does not equate "work" in today's society.

How many 30+ year old women are in the market for a 9 hour a week job? And where is this arbitrary 30 year cut off coming from? It seems to be the magical number touted on every thread when women are suddenly old enough to be mature and stay off their phones. So silly. What happens if a candidate is 29, OP should just discount her on principle? I'm 27 and wasn't raised on my phone and rarely use it, my sister is 33 and uses it more than anyone I know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Silly post. We could just as easily prove that middle-aged people are addicted to their phones and could not live without them.

How?