Time off for Grampas funeral?
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Anonymous
| I started working for my current family July 1st. Unfortunately, my Grampa just had to go into hospice care two weeks ago due to recurring cancer, and is only expected to live a few weeks or possibly less as he's taken a turn for the worst lately. I'm wondering if II should mention to MB that I might need a day off for his funeral some time soon, or if that's weird to warn in advance? They said they're very happy with me as a nanny, we get along great, but really don't have much in common besides their baby. Also I'm wondering if it's too much to want a second day off just to be with my family after the funeral. I work about 52 hours a week so between work and driving to visit my grampa it's tiring, and I know I will want a second day off. My grampa was like a father to me, the funeral will be local if that makes a difference. Besides this time off I've missed one day of work due to a bad cold, but it was on a day she was off as well so she didn't miss work for it at least. |
Anonymous
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MB here. My advice would be to definitely let your employers know that it is likely you will have a death in the family, of someone very close to you, in the fairly near future. Let them know that, if possible, you want to take at least the day of the funeral off and possibly one additional day. (Of course, it's possible that the funeral will be on a weekend, no?)
I can't imagine any reasonable person refusing to give you time off for a funeral. Additional time off beyond that might be a little tougher for them (hopefully not) given that you haven't been working with them for long so don't really have the track record to prove that this is an exception to the norm for you. But as an MB I would appreciate you giving me advance warning and therefore giving me the chance to plan ahead. It also gives me the chance to be supportive of you - which hopefully is the kind of relationship you will build with your employers over time. Having little in common is irrelevant - we've all lost people close to us and you are important to them because you are their nanny. Sorry for your grandfather's illness. I hope whatever path it takes will be peaceful for him and your family. |
Anonymous
| I am sorry you are going through this. I would talk to them so they can work with their employers/jobs to be able to take off. I would fully support two days off. |
Anonymous
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I would talk to them, OP. Asking for 2 days off is completely reasonable. If I were in your situation and my employers had ANY problem with this request, I would seriously question their respect for me.
Sorry about your grampa 
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Anonymous
| I would let them know what is happening, so that when the time comes, they will already have a plan in place. One day off is what you should expect, two is really pushing it, especially since you just started the job. |
Anonymous
| It's spelled Grandpa. And 15:38 is right. One day is okay, two days is pushing it when you've been there less than six months, if there's nothing in your contract about it. |
Anonymous
As an MB I completely disagree with this. It's not like asking for 2 days for a last minute vacation. I guess it depends on the family you work for but our nanny has only been with us 2 months and I'd have no problem if she needed 2 days off (or more even) for a death in the family. I would appreciate knowing about the possibility in advance so I could work out an emergency contingency plan. |
Anonymous
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OP here, Thanks for all the advice and kind words. I'm going to let them know, and hopefully when the time comes they will offer a second day off or it will fall on a weekend.
15:53, you are asshole so good luck with that. |
Anonymous
At least I know how to spell. |
Anonymous
This is so unnecessary. There's no need to point this out. How about some sympathy for the OP and her family? OP I was in the situation twice unfortunately in my last nanny position. I started the job in October, and my maternal grandfather passed away in November. I had to take 5 days off to travel to Florida for the funeral. Then in January my paternal grandfather passed away, and I had to take 2 days off for the local services. The family completely understood and were able to make other arrangements. If they aren't understanding and more than willing to give you the time off, then they really aren't people you want to work for. So sorry for what you are going through OP. I know it's very tough. Good luck with your boss. Oh and I would definitely let them know what's going on with your grandfather, so they won't be totally caught off guard. |
Anonymous
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Yes, yes, and triple yes. Tell them. If I know about something, even if I don't know the exact date, I can deal with it much better and make a contingency plan (like not scheduling out-of-town meetings on the same day as DH is out of town). As I always tell my nanny, I can accomodate just about anything if I know in advance.
Sorry you are going through this OP. If you tell your employer, that also gives them a chance to be supportive and not caught off-guard. |
Anonymous
| Aren't funerals typically on weekends? |
Anonymous
Probably depends on the religion. In the Jewish religion for example, people are NOT buried on Saturdays because that's Shabbat. |
Anonymous
No |
Anonymous
Not only are you an asshole, but you're also an idiot. Grampa is slang, it is a nickname for grandpa and perfectly acceptable. This woman is about to lose her loved one, what a pathetic coward you are for trying to kick a person while they're down. |