Nanny Misrepresents What We Pay Her

[Anonymous]

Our nanny can no longer do our position (the hours no longer work for her). So we are trying to help her find a new job and I posted on some neighborhood listserv a for her. The thing is, when she talks to people, she misrepresents what we pay her. We pay her $20/hour gross but she says she is making $25/hr net. Then they come back to me asking if I really think that's market, so I tell them what we pay her. I don't know what to do. I can't lie for her, and I don't think she should lie, either. I think that makes her look terrible to the potential employer. Should I tell her this?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your nanny has been reading too much DCUM! I would probably take the route of pretending that there must be some confusion and just telling her, "Hey, Manny, I just wanted you to know that some of your prospective families seem to be confused about the rate that we paid you. Just so you know, if anyone asks me directly I am going to confirm that you made $20 per hour gross Working for us." She should get the hint that she needs to go about this differently. My guess is that she has decided to use this as an opportunity to try to trade up and may not have been lying. She may simply have been telling people "my rate is $25 per hour." Since a nanny is entitled to set her own rate, that is not necessarily a lie. But she should be prepared to justify that and if she was making significantly less that her last job (which she obviously was) then she should be addressing how much she is willing to do for the new family that she may not have done for you (such as housework shopping etc.).

[Anonymous]

Why are they asking you about her current rate? Seems inappropriate

[Anonymous]

Because when families are being asked to pay a top of the market or above market rate, one of the things they consider is the nanny's salary history. I certainly have done that in considering nannies whose gross salary was going to equal or top $1K a week and I've paid it where justified and I didn't where it wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because when families are being asked to pay a top of the market or above market rate, one of the things they consider is the nanny's salary history. I certainly have done that in considering nannies whose gross salary was going to equal or top $1K a week and I've paid it where justified and I didn't where it wasn't.

+1

Except I'm a nanny. But this is a normal thing employers want to know in most jobs; salary history affects future earnings, particularly starting pay. OP's nanny clearly knows this and would like to earn more in her next position but doesn't realize lying about it will likely cost her otherwise great job offers.

OP, I agree with the PP who suggested mentioning it to your nanny under the guise of a mistake/confusion but letting her know that you are going to accurately report on her employment history with you when asked - and that includes hourly rate.

[Anonymous]

No, you don't need to tell her anything. If she's trying to up her rate above market, there is nothing you can, or should, do about it.

However, if you are asked about what you paid her by a family seeking a reference, be completely honest about the rate and why she is worth that specific rate for that job.

Families set the rate. If a nanny wants above market, great, but she needs to convince the family she is worth it. If she can, great. If she can't, both parties need to move on.

[Anonymous]

Seems suspect that OP is asking us a question which she should have already asked her employee. Her employee is a liar, yet she entrusts her children's care to a liar? Hmmm.
We don't have the whole story, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems suspect that OP is asking us a question which she should have already asked her employee. Her employee is a liar, yet she entrusts her children's care to a liar? Hmmm.
We don't have the whole story, OP.

I don't agree at all. Yes, the nanny is lying but she is leaving anyway and depending on how long she has been with them I don't think it necessarily affects her care of OP's children. She's asking for advice here, why can't you just give it or don't reply at all?

OP - the only reason I see to tell the nanny is because she is probably losing out on jobs once the prospective employer finds out she is lying about her current salary. I'd let her know that you are being asked about it and you can say that you think it's fine if she wants to try to make more but you won't lie about how much you are paying her now.

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid lots of very sorry parents had clear indications that their sitter was not who they should be leaving their children with. It's a real shame to ignore obvious indications of blatant lying like that.

Later they're crying that she "seemed so nice".
Excuse me? Do nice people lie? Do you lie?

[Anonymous]

You have no control over what she tells other people and what she tells them is HER business. What you do have control over is what YOU tell others and you have chosen to tell the truth.

If she has an issue w/the truth, then she can just forget using you as a reference, plain and simple. She cannot expect you to lie to others in order to advance her agenda of making more money.
If she truly want so make more money in her next position and she thinks she is worth a higher amount, then it is up to HER to prove to her next employer that she is worth every penny. She shouldn't start any new job off on a deceptive note.

Bottom line:
As her reference, you are obligated to tell the truth and nothing but the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid lots of very sorry parents had clear indications that their sitter was not who they should be leaving their children with. It's a real shame to ignore obvious indications of blatant lying like that.

Later they're crying that she "seemed so nice".
Excuse me? Do nice people lie? Do you lie?

I don't think it's as black and white as that. Yes, nice people sometimes lie. It doesn't mean they aren't nice to children. I'm not saying it's ok that the nanny lied because I don't think it is but I don't think there are many people in the world who can say they have NEVER lied about anything. That doesn't mean they abuse children. I DO think that perpetual lying is a sign parents should not ignore but 1 lie? Let's not get carried away.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Turns out the next employer asked her about a part-time job with more kids and then extrapolated from that what I am paying her and sent me a shocked e-mail. So, to recap, nanny is not a liar, potential new family is weird. I e-mailed the family back and said I thought she was under quoting them for a part-time job and that I'd paid $24/hour to a kid just out of college who was a disaster for a part-time gig. I told my nanny nice families are out there and we would find one.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, I think it is very inappropriate for the prospective family to ask what I am currently making. She should not discuss her pay with anyone, but you. If they make an offer that is below her requirement, she could kindly say, "that is below what I am expecting/used to." She can then see if they can negotiate.

[Anonymous]

Salary history is actually a very common question in the rest of the employment sector. Almost every other job besides nannything that I've worked at has asked for my salary history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous



As a nanny, I think it is very inappropriate for the prospective family to ask what I am currently making. She should not discuss her pay with anyone, but you. If they make an offer that is below her requirement, she could kindly say, "that is below what I am expecting/used to." She can then see if they can negotiate.

The problem with that is that most jobs do ask for a salary history, and if you can't provide one, you have less room and power to negotiate.

Say I have a job and I am willing to pay $18/hr. You interview and tell me you want to make $22/hr because your last job was $20/ hr. maybe I think you might be a good fit. So, I call your reference, verify salary and the job duties so I can judge if it is worth it to me to raise the rate based on what you did, according to the reference, that makes you an above market rate nanny. If you just tell me your rate is $22/hr, and I can't verify that you have the experience and skills you say you have and that your previous employer can attest to it by paying you over market, then you are a less attractive candidate to me. You also have less room to negotiate with me because the only thing I know for sure is the rate I have decided the job is worth. I don't know if you are an exceptional nanny.

It's the same in my job. I can think I am worth half a million dollars, but there is a market rate for my job, and if I want to make more than that, I need to make a case for it to future employers, including proving my "worth" with my salary history. If I can show a new employer I was paid over market, and prove why, I have negotiating power.

Now, if you say, I was paid $14/hr at my last job and now I want to make $22/hr, I'd ask you further about the leap in rate...maybe you were underpaid, maybe you finished your degree or earned new certifications, whatever. But if you could make a case, I'd be open to negotiation if you were a strong, open, and honest candidate about your salary history and experiences.

The problem with the advice of the nannies here to just state your rate is that you don't leave families any other reason to believe, except your demand, that you are worth an above market rate. Here in DC, there are many excellent nannies available at market rates, paid legally on the books. If you want to make more, go for it. Just give yourself every advantage by truthfully negotiating with prospective employers.