Should we give our PT nanny a chance to become full-time?

[Anonymous]

We have a pt nanny who picks up 3 yo DS at preschool at 4 and stays with him until we get home (usually in the 6-7 pm hour). We are both lawyers, and hired her after we were not reliably able to pick up DS from daycare everyday before 6.

She's young, and very dedicated to playing with DS and making sure he has fun. We also ask her to do some light housekeeping, if possible (i.e. cleaning up DS's room and some dish washing,) because we pay her for 4-7:30 pm everyday, although she hardly ever stays that late. DS loves her, and we've also grown very attached to her.

We're expecting DC2 in December our current plan is to hire a full time nanny when I go back to work after maternity leave, coupled with DS going to part time preschool 2 or 3 days a week. I plan on cutting back to part-time, so that I can pick-up DS from preschool, and so we will not have to pay a nanny for more than 40 hours a week.

Basically, we don't think our PT nanny will be able to handle that full time position. She's been letting the housekeeping stuff slide more and more (not cleaning up after the dinners she makes for DS, for instance) and sometimes is late to pick up DS. She's also not very organized, and we have trouble imagining her as a newborn caretaker.

It breaks my heart that we've been thinking about letting her go once DC2 arrives because PT nanny is super excited for DC2 and talks about how much she can't wait to see DS as a big brother.

So, do you think we should give PT nanny a chance at being full-time nanny in this situation (having a serious talk to her about the different expectations beforehand)? Or should we let her know soon that we are terminating her position to give her plenty of time to find something else?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. I would want someone older and more mature for that type of job. And absolutely someone with some nb experience. Tell her you'll still want her to come babysit evenings though!

[Anonymous]

If she is young, she most definitely should not be in charge of a newborn infant. What young girl would know what to do with a baby at her age??

I would let her know that you are seeking an older and more experienced nanny for your baby and that it has nothing to do with her personally.
Let her know that you will still keep her on for occasional babysitting for date nights and such in the future.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't sound like she's up for your FT job and no way would I leave a newborn and a toddler with a young, inexperienced nanny.

You should let her go, giving her as much notice as you can, but do ask her babysit whenever you need someone.

[Anonymous]

OP you don't say how old she is or what her prior experience is?

I am assuming that your priority is your kids safety and well being, followed by a clean house?
If your current PT nanny loves your child and he loves her, that would be the utmost important to me.
I would give her the chance, but as you said, be upfront about your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Because of this:

Basically, we don't think our PT nanny will be able to handle that full time position. She's been letting the housekeeping stuff slide more and more (not cleaning up after the dinners she makes for DS, for instance) and sometimes is late to pick up DS. She's also not very organized, and we have trouble imagining her as a newborn caretaker.

I'm inclined to say no.

If you want, you can always discuss with her that you've noticed things have been going downhill.

As an aside: I don't think it's fair to say younger nannies have no idea what to do with infants (like some of the PPs are doing). I could (and did) handle watching multiple children, including infants, when I was a teenager. Not as a regular nanny, but people post here as if it's impossible. Some people can handle it.

[Anonymous]

How long has she worked for you? Unless it's for a really long time (2 years +), then I would replace her. It's about your son. If you keep her, my guess is that events will look like this:
New baby sister
Mommy around more, but stressed and not giving him as much attention
Nanny around to play with him
Mommy goes back to work
Nanny has to watch DS and baby and is now stressed and ignoring him while she figures out baby
DS starts acting out
Eventually nanny's job is too much for her and she either quits or needs to be let go
DS now has to adjust to a new caregiver

If you get someone experienced with multiple children and with newborn experience, the timeline looks like this:
DS gets a new nanny. Her only job is to bond with him and build a relationship. She knows how to do this and knows what rules to lay out to prepare him for the transition to big-brotherhood
Baby is born
Mommy is home more but stressed and nanny manages household to relieve stress and helps DS adjust
Mommy goes back to work
Nanny successfully balances DS, baby, and typical nanny household tasks.

I would replace, but I would also be very thorough in my nanny search. You want someone who know how to manage this kind of transition, someone who can truly nanny two children (rather than nanny a newborn and supervise a preschooler), and someone who is willing to help out with whichever household tasks you find most helpful.

[Anonymous]

Keep her as an evening babysitter and give her a nice parting bonus, as she will be hurt that she wasn't offered the position. That should help to keep thing friendly. Congrats OP!

[Anonymous]

No way. She's already slipping and you'll have enough on your plate with a newborn. You need someone dependable and efficient.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for your responses!

Also, to put her experience into perspective, she is currently 24 and has been doing babysitting and sunday school childcare nonstop since she was in her teens (we hired her through a very good babysitting/nanny service and she still does lots of work through them). She has a lot of experience babysitting for newborns, but has never been a long-term nanny for one.

[Anonymous]

I had my first baby at 23 and I was an awesome Mom to my newborn. Age isn't everything.

[Anonymous]

I will talk to her first about concerns and requirements or new full-time position , after all newborn sleep, eat and poop for the first 4 months and you will the newborn baby . I guess she has been having tons o fun with your oldest and maybe cleaning is not a priority.Plus your older needs support not more drastic changes he has enough with learning to be a big brother. I have a 22 month and a 3 month infant.
Be clear with your nanny that if full-time is offer you need her to do laundry for the children and cleaning while your oldest is at school, outline your expectations and concerns and give her a trial period.
good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my first baby at 23 and I was an awesome Mom to my newborn. Age isn't everything.

Really? And you also provided loving, attentive care to a preschooler and kept the house in order? I'm guessing you, like most moms (or amateur nannies, as you could call them ) cut corners where you had to to keep things going. That's fine. But OP doesn't seem to want someone who just keeps the kids alive and happy. She wants a professional who has already done the whole transition from one-to-two, juggling needs, keeping house in order, newborn issues routine. OP, the babysitting experience is nice and all, but what that says to me is that she's never gotten a baby on a shedule, never dealt with hours of colicy crying, never dealt with reflux, never introduced solids and never had to juggle housework with any of it (when you hire a date night sitter, do you expect her to do laundry?). She just doesn't sound like the person for this job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of this:

Basically, we don't think our PT nanny will be able to handle that full time position. She's been letting the housekeeping stuff slide more and more (not cleaning up after the dinners she makes for DS, for instance) and sometimes is late to pick up DS. She's also not very organized, and we have trouble imagining her as a newborn caretaker.

I'm inclined to say no.

If you want, you can always discuss with her that you've noticed things have been going downhill.

As an aside: I don't think it's fair to say younger nannies have no idea what to do with infants (like some of the PPs are doing). I could (and did) handle watching multiple children, including infants, when I was a teenager. Not as a regular nanny, but people post here as if it's impossible. Some people can handle it.

+1 at 18 I took care of my niece FT when the end of my sister's maternity leave coincided with my school break. From there I nannied PT (20 hrs/wk) for infant twins born very prematurely resulting in a lot of special needs. After that I nannied FT during the summer for a 6 mo old and a 3 yr old. This was all before I turned 21. So age isn't everything, but what is important is that none of these parents would have anything but glowing reviews to say about me.

So OP if you're unhappy with your nanny's performance that's fine, but please don't blame it on her age, it does all of us hardworking young nannies a disservice.