Work Environment

[Anonymous]

Hello all,

I need some advice. I'm working for a family that has three kids under 6 years. I have been with them for six months -- love the kids, love the job...except for one thing.

Their house is a disaster. Not only is it disorganized and cluttered, but it is plain dirty. I have come to work to find dirty diapers on the floor, old food out everywhere, toys covering every surface, cat poop left out for me to clean (presumably). Their floors can be so dirty and sticky that I am loathe to take my sandals off.

I am very type "A" when it comes to being clean and organized. It is against my nature to just leave a mess be. Disorganization and mess stress me out. I realize that not everyone is like this.

Cleaning is not in my job description, and I honestly don't get paid enough, but I end up cleaning in between caring for the kids because the dirt and mess drives me insane.

My question is: am I being crazy about this? Should my work environment, as a nanny, be up to a certain standard? Do I say something?

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

I would just take the kids out of the house as much as possible, and also have them race to see who can put the most toys away in the fastest time. I'd teach them to clean up.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have been working on getting them to clean, but it is like pulling teeth. MB can't even get them to do it. Their parents have set no precedence.

Thanks for the tip. I'll try it.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Also I try to stay out of the house but I work 10-12 hour days and it gets hard...

[Anonymous]

OP there is absolutely nothing you can do about it but no you are not being unreasonable.

This is one of those things where you're either a good fit or you're not, but neither side is being unfair. This is how they live and keep their house - and that's their choice, but I completely understand not being able to work in the house. When I interview with families that is one of the things I look for because I cannot abide a mess and I want to leave the house looking pretty much pristine at the end of the day, so I need to work for parents who maintain a similar level of cleanliness and tidiness.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Honestly I feel a bit better hearing that I'm not being unfair.

MB has apologized frequently about the mess. I have considered talking to her about it. Maybe she will work with me a little so the environment is tolerable. It's difficult because every other aspect of the job is perfect for me.

Thanks for the input. You're right, they keep their house the way they want and that may be that.

[Anonymous]

I could envision opening a conversation something like this: "I am struggling a little because while I am very happy in most aspects of working for you, your house is much dirtier than what I am comfortable with. Do you think there is something that we could do?"

I wonder if you know someone who does housecleaning who you could recommend...?

[Anonymous]

OP again. What's insane is that a cleaning company comes every other week. That is the only day I have respite from the filth. The tidiness lasts less than a day and then shortly thereafter is dirty again.

I'm mulling over how the conversation might go, but I'm thinking it might only embarrass her and not change much...maybe I should suck it up.

Ugh. Thanks for the responses, guys.

[Anonymous]

Can they afford a more frequent house cleaning, OP, at least once or maybe even twice a week?

[Anonymous]

It won't always work, but try making a game out of cleaning with the kids.

examples:
"I spy a (toy/book/etc)!" kids find item and pick it up.

Have a trash bag. "oooo! The trash bag is very hungry! Will you help me feed it?" and I open and close the trash bag so it "eats" their hands sometimes.

You could also make a chart if they're old enough.
Put pictures on it like books, dolls, blocks, etc. When all of the books are picked up, they get a check mark next to the box.

If any of these things are working, maybe the mom can use it.

One of my charges FAVORITE things to do is a dance party. And we can't have one if there are toys all over the ground.

[Anonymous]

20:16 again: you can also take off one of the sticks from a swiffer to make it kid-size. They will almost certainly have fun sweeping the floor. At least at first.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should have a conversation w/ your employers, but your concerns about approaching it in a way that doesn't make them feel defensive are important.

Perhaps you could express your concerns about your comfort in being able to be down on the floor with the kids, have a clean working environment, etc... and ask if you could agree to keep a couple of common rooms kind of "off limit" and held to a higher standard? I don't think this family will change their striped, and I don't think you're being unfair. But it sounds like a tough situation if you genuinely like them all and want to stay.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to say this to you but I have been in enough of these situations to know that this is just how they live- and will probably only get offended if you confront the issue-so you will have to put up with it or just leave. I would mention it just to see what they do, but if nothing changes immediately start looking for another position.

Don't be afraid to leave- this area is overpopulated with people, people having new babies and families needing new nannies since the turn over rate is insane. There are dozens of new families in this area listed on sites every day so just find a new one. They are a dime a dozen around here and you will most likely find one normal or even better, paying more, and living in a clean house.

I was just in the same situation- except that this family lived in a $2 million home and had amazing professions but had odd living conditions and even odder demands of the Nanny. Imagine a 7 bedroom home with hardly any furniture- no crib for the baby-no bed frames just mattresses on the floor- an empty fridge with hardly anything to eat, and toys and clothes for their kids that looked like they were from the Good Will- I wasn't allowed to have the Tv on, have an hour break, make the children take a nap or implement any discipline and they got annoyed when I asked to turn the AC up because it was so hot I was sweating like a pig throughout the day. They expected me to cook but had hardly any cooking pans or appliances to use. I could go on and on but suffice to say people are weird and they are set in their ways so don't expect them to change for you.

I assumed since they had just moved a few months ago it was a transition but realized this was just how they lived- I got out and was happy I did.

[Anonymous]

Jobs are a dime a dozen if you're a good nanny. Look around and see what's out there.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a clean freak as well, but this house sounds just disgusting.

I have worked in some gross houses, and honestly I don't think there really is much you can do. If it really bothers you, you can always seek another family to work for. Other than that, you have no other option other than to clean up the mess yourself.

So sorry you are going through this. The job sounds great otherwise.