Question for MBs: how to approach quitting live-in job?

[Anonymous]

I'm a live-in for a great family, but want to quit my job to go back to school. My hours aren't flexible enough for a school schedule (65 a week). I'm planning on leaving after Labor Day when my semester begins, but don't know how to bring this up to MB and DB. I'm afraid this will come completely out of the blue for them! What are some things I can say to help them out?

[Anonymous]

OP, I know many people will tell you not to give a lot of notice because you will be out of a job and a place to live, but I am an MB and I have a good relationship with my nanny. If she told me that she wanted to start school in the fall and had to leave, I'd be sad and a little worried at first, but I would wish her well and wouldn't kick her out or replace her next week. I think if you have a good relationship with the family, sit down with them, let them know that this is important to you and you want to make the transition as smooth a possible.

You could offer to help train the new person and maybe create a little tip sheet for the new nanny on how the household runs so that the new person fits in smoothly if they are to be a live in. I'd want my nanny to work with me on transitioning the children so they see it as a positive for you and an adventure for them, and I would want my nanny to help vet candidates. My nanny doesn't work 65 hours a week, but even at 45, she spends a lot of time with my children and I would want her input on who we choose as her successor.

Finally, I would hope my nanny came to us with a fixed plan that was somewhat flexible - that is, I would want her to know when her last day would be, when she'd move out, etc. so we didn't have shifting move-out dates, but at the same time, some flexibility would be helpful in making sure that your MB can accomodate a new candidate.

Mostly, I would want my nanny to engage me in this discussion so we could plan together. I know it is your life and you don't owe them anything more than the contractual notice, but if you want to keep your great relationship, notice and discussion is the way to go, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know many people will tell you not to give a lot of notice because you will be out of a job and a place to live, but I am an MB and I have a good relationship with my nanny. If she told me that she wanted to start school in the fall and had to leave, I'd be sad and a little worried at first, but I would wish her well and wouldn't kick her out or replace her next week. I think if you have a good relationship with the family, sit down with them, let them know that this is important to you and you want to make the transition as smooth a possible.

You could offer to help train the new person and maybe create a little tip sheet for the new nanny on how the household runs so that the new person fits in smoothly if they are to be a live in. I'd want my nanny to work with me on transitioning the children so they see it as a positive for you and an adventure for them, and I would want my nanny to help vet candidates. My nanny doesn't work 65 hours a week, but even at 45, she spends a lot of time with my children and I would want her input on who we choose as her successor.

Finally, I would hope my nanny came to us with a fixed plan that was somewhat flexible - that is, I would want her to know when her last day would be, when she'd move out, etc. so we didn't have shifting move-out dates, but at the same time, some flexibility would be helpful in making sure that your MB can accomodate a new candidate.

Mostly, I would want my nanny to engage me in this discussion so we could plan together. I know it is your life and you don't owe them anything more than the contractual notice, but if you want to keep your great relationship, notice and discussion is the way to go, IMO.

Have you told her this? I think it would help you out in the long run.

[Anonymous]

When I was planning on moving across country, I told my employers 6 months a head. They really appreciated it and it allowed time for proper transitions. It'll help the family not be bitter or feel they are getting screwed up in the end, as some do with nannies who give notice last minute. It takes at least a month to hire new care on average, so the extra notice will help them out. Just spin it as a positive for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know many people will tell you not to give a lot of notice because you will be out of a job and a place to live, but I am an MB and I have a good relationship with my nanny. If she told me that she wanted to start school in the fall and had to leave, I'd be sad and a little worried at first, but I would wish her well and wouldn't kick her out or replace her next week. I think if you have a good relationship with the family, sit down with them, let them know that this is important to you and you want to make the transition as smooth a possible.

You could offer to help train the new person and maybe create a little tip sheet for the new nanny on how the household runs so that the new person fits in smoothly if they are to be a live in. I'd want my nanny to work with me on transitioning the children so they see it as a positive for you and an adventure for them, and I would want my nanny to help vet candidates. My nanny doesn't work 65 hours a week, but even at 45, she spends a lot of time with my children and I would want her input on who we choose as her successor.

Finally, I would hope my nanny came to us with a fixed plan that was somewhat flexible - that is, I would want her to know when her last day would be, when she'd move out, etc. so we didn't have shifting move-out dates, but at the same time, some flexibility would be helpful in making sure that your MB can accomodate a new candidate.

Mostly, I would want my nanny to engage me in this discussion so we could plan together. I know it is your life and you don't owe them anything more than the contractual notice, but if you want to keep your great relationship, notice and discussion is the way to go, IMO.

I'm an MB and completely agree with this advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, here. Thank you for the excellent advice. I am so excited to begin school again, but so nervous about having this conversation with my bosses. Some financial aid things didn't come through for this semester, so my dates have changed to next semester. I'm looking forward to beginning this new adventure!