What to expect?

[Anonymous]

Our first au pair is arriving soon. I plan to spend the weekend showing her around and to take off her first day of "work" to show her the ropes... But can I reasonably expect that she will be ready to watch the kids by herself after that? Or will I need to take off more time from work?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? And the au pair?

[Anonymous]

Kids are 6 and 4. Au pair is 19.

[Anonymous]

It depends a lot on the people involved here. How easy-going are you? How is she feeling when she arrives? How are the kids doing with the whole thing? How much do you have going on during the day? Is there driving, and is she comfortable with that--and are you?

For us, we will follow a similar pattern. Arrival on Friday, first day of work on Monday with me there the whole day. Tuesday first day on her own. The weekend and Monday we'll be talking about expectations, schedules, evaluating everyone's comfort level, practicing driving. My kids know the rhythm of their day (I have 3), so it should be fine. But if I see something that make me think we need to ease in a little more slowly, I'll adjust as needed. The au pair program asks for flexibility from au pairs, but the truth is that families also have to be flexible too.

[Anonymous]

Is she driving? How will you be evaluating that and showing her around?

[Anonymous]

OP - do you know about aupairmom? There is a post and a bunch of comments about this issue exactly, plus tons more.

[Anonymous]

I suggest that you do leave the AP on her own to take care of at least one kid for some period of time as soon as the official "orientation" period is over. AP needs to see that you have confidence in her and that she needs to step up.

One thing that has worked for us is that I ask AP to take one child at a time in the beginning, even if it's just a short walk or trip to playground. I think one-on-one time is helpful for developing the relationship. My kids tend to be difficult in the first few weeks (vying for AP attention, also having trouble with transition from one AP to the next) and I find scheduling in some one-on-one time helpful. (If you are able to take some extra time off and have one-on-one time with the non-scheduled child, so much the better!)