negatives of doing a nannyshare where the other family is hosting?

[Anonymous]

We're thinking of doing a nannyshare for #2 but we can't host at our place as we have a large dog and we would worry too much about the liability of the nanny and someone else's baby in our house. As a result, we would be looking to do it at the other person's house. For those of you who have done this, are there major negatives to it? E.g., I could see that maybe it would feel as though the other family has more "say" in how things are done since it's at their house.

Just wanted to get some thoughts as we begin our thinking on this. Back up option is too find a daycare, so we're not set on this nannyshare thing.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

There can certainly develop a sense that she is "their" nanny and your family is just there, so that's something you have stay on top of. Communicate openly and regularly with nanny and host family. Another downside is that you still have to get your child up and ready for drop off as you would for daycare. You also should be very clear about what tasks you'd like the nanny to complete during the day, and that they should be mutually beneficial ie. nanny shouldn't be scrubbing host family's bathrooms, doing adult laundry, or any other one-sided tasks that would take attention away from the children.

[Anonymous]

Nannyshares are very complicated. Unless you have a family and nanny you are already close with and trust, I would invest your time in finding a quality daycare. Less drama and more reliable in the long term and short term.

[Anonymous]

OP here. 21:44 - that's definitely one thing I'm worried about is all the drama.

21:18 - thanks for all of the good ideas!

[Anonymous]

I've been in two long term nannyshare (2-3+ yrs each) and both have been exclusively hosted at one home. I have always been more attached to the family that doesn't host in both shares. The hosting families were always nice but for some reason I recieved more respect and generally got along better with the non hosting family.

If you need a long term share then make sure the family and nanny you choose are also looking for more then one year and have the same parenting styles. If either feels iffy about more then one yr they are obviously not interested in long term. Have a plan for if the share ends and make sure everything is in the contract.

If you wanted to host consider rising your house insurance policy and possibly sending your dog to dog daycare. But I've worked in homes with large dogs/multiple pets and never had a issue.

[Anonymous]

I am a big nanny share proponent, especially for the first 2 years when I think the kids really benefit a lot more from a lower adult to kid ratio. It's true, you could end up in drama - but that's not a given. Choose your share family and nanny carefully and check references. I think that your worry - that she'll feel more like "their" nanny - is a bit greater if you are coming into a long-time established share as the new family. Even there though, it's not a definite if you work to treat the nanny great. In our last share, the other mom was really just a perfect employer and although I try hard, I am not. So our nanny adored her even though we've been together for longer and she's still working for me now and not them (preschool aging out).
Agree that you need to make sure that the expectation is that the nanny is only doing "light" housekeeping that is needed to clean up the kids messes such as sweeping floors, kitchen messes, etc caused during the day.
to me the biggest downside of not hosting is that you have to be the one to schlep out of the house in the AM. But you'd have to do that w/ a daycare anyway so that's a wash.