Charges Birthday party question

[Anonymous]

I'm a live out and work with a pretty good family

My charges birthday party is coming up... My boss invited my boyfriend and I... After talking to my boss after the initail invitation she mentioned me helping to entertain the kids...

I really don't want to bring my boyfriend if he's just going to be watching me work...
So I guess my question is mb's how much child care would expect out of your nanny if you invited her and her significant other?

[Anonymous]

If I expected child care, I would ask her and I would pay her. I think it's unreasonable to simply invite you hoping you would help. Ask her what she expects.

[Anonymous]

an invite means come and NOT work. our nanny is coming to our party as a guest, but she is helping me with party preparations, for which she will be compensated.

[Anonymous]

My DC's nanny and a friend were invited to DC's party. I didn't expect her to do any childcare at all. All the LOs at the party had plenty of adults cooing over them.

That said DC's nanny did spend a lot of time playing with DC just because DC and the nanny like each other! But DC's nanny also got to spend time hanging out.

[Anonymous]

That is really rude. You are invited as a guest or your a paid employee. I would ask her if you shouldn't bring your bf since she expects you to work and tell her your rate. That should make it clear that 1. Your not gonna be suckered into working for free and 2. Your either a guest or staff.

I've gone to all my charges bday parties as a guest never expected to do a damn thing.

[Anonymous]

Op here: i felt like it was a little weird but I don't mind helping, really I don't... I just don't think I should have my boyfriend tag along if I'm going to be helping more the just hanging out.

Thank you all for replies so far!

[Anonymous]

If you're invited as a guest you shouldn't be expected to work. That's rude. When I've gone to my charges' birthday parties I was a guest, not the kid wrangler. I helped out with things like cleaning up the food but I do that whenever I am a guest at someone's party.

[Anonymous]

If I invited you and your boyfriend, that'd be an invite as a guest, and I'd expect you to do the work of lifting a forkful of birthday cake to your mouth and nothing else. If I asked you to work the party, I wouldn't be inviting you to it, and would leave your boyfriend out of it.

OP, I think you should say this to the mother: "Larla, I just wanted to make sure I understood - you invited me to Emma's birthday party with my boyfriend, which I was excited to attend as a guest, but then you said you'd like me to entertain the kids at the party. Did you want me to WORK at the party, or was I invited as a guest? If you want me to work the party at my normal hourly rate I won't bring my boyfriend, since that would be unprofessional, plus he'd just be watching me work. I just want to make sure we're both on the same page."

She SHOULD realize her error and backtrack and say you and your boyfriend are invited as guests at this point. But she may have invited more people than she realized and be in a panic which could be why she asked you to entertain.

[Anonymous]

agree with 11:41.

[Anonymous]

I also agree with 11:41.

I wonder if she included your bf in the invite so she'd have yet another "unpaid employee"--you know, if she needed someone to help set up some heavy stuff, or make a quick run to the store for more ice, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I invited you and your boyfriend, that'd be an invite as a guest, and I'd expect you to do the work of lifting a forkful of birthday cake to your mouth and nothing else. If I asked you to work the party, I wouldn't be inviting you to it, and would leave your boyfriend out of it.

OP, I think you should say this to the mother: "Larla, I just wanted to make sure I understood - you invited me to Emma's birthday party with my boyfriend, which I was excited to attend as a guest, but then you said you'd like me to entertain the kids at the party. Did you want me to WORK at the party, or was I invited as a guest? If you want me to work the party at my normal hourly rate I won't bring my boyfriend, since that would be unprofessional, plus he'd just be watching me work. I just want to make sure we're both on the same page."

She SHOULD realize her error and backtrack and say you and your boyfriend are invited as guests at this point. But she may have invited more people than she realized and be in a panic which could be why she asked you to entertain.

+100!

So rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I invited you and your boyfriend, that'd be an invite as a guest, and I'd expect you to do the work of lifting a forkful of birthday cake to your mouth and nothing else. If I asked you to work the party, I wouldn't be inviting you to it, and would leave your boyfriend out of it.

OP, I think you should say this to the mother: "Larla, I just wanted to make sure I understood - you invited me to Emma's birthday party with my boyfriend, which I was excited to attend as a guest, but then you said you'd like me to entertain the kids at the party. Did you want me to WORK at the party, or was I invited as a guest? If you want me to work the party at my normal hourly rate I won't bring my boyfriend, since that would be unprofessional, plus he'd just be watching me work. I just want to make sure we're both on the same page."

She SHOULD realize her error and backtrack and say you and your boyfriend are invited as guests at this point. But she may have invited more people than she realized and be in a panic which could be why she asked you to entertain.

+100!

So rude.

+4