Part-time with stranger anxiety infant

[Anonymous]

I've been a nanny for six years now and have always worked full-time for one family at a time (always infants). I recently started working several part-time jobs (a few hours here and there for stay-at-home-moms that need to run errands, go to appointments, etc.). One of the families has a 7 month-old and he has serious stranger anxiety. He's never had anyone else watch him besides Mom and Dad before, and he cried throughout my entire first day (normally a super happy baby)! I felt horrible - I've had infants for six years, but I have always started with them at a younger age, plus I was there every day. I'm worried that by only seeing him for three hours each week he's not going to warm up to me. Any advice from parents or nannies who have been in similar situations? He's such a sweet little guy, the parents are great, and I've never had trouble with any of my kids, but every time he looks at me and realizes I'm not his mom he totally breaks down and it's killing me! Thanks in advance for any advice.

[Anonymous]

Don't know if this would be practical at all, but I'd try dropping by the day before your work day, just to touch base. Once a week is often more difficult than we realize. Two work days, back to back, would be better than only once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been a nanny for six years now and have always worked full-time for one family at a time (always infants). I recently started working several part-time jobs (a few hours here and there for stay-at-home-moms that need to run errands, go to appointments, etc.). One of the families has a 7 month-old and he has serious stranger anxiety. He's never had anyone else watch him besides Mom and Dad before, and he cried throughout my entire first day (normally a super happy baby)! I felt horrible - I've had infants for six years, but I have always started with them at a younger age, plus I was there every day. I'm worried that by only seeing him for three hours each week he's not going to warm up to me. Any advice from parents or nannies who have been in similar situations? He's such a sweet little guy, the parents are great, and I've never had trouble with any of my kids, but every time he looks at me and realizes I'm not his mom he totally breaks down and it's killing me! Thanks in advance for any advice.

No advice, just wanted to send sympathy. My DD was the same when she was a baby. I never used a babysitter (for other reasons). It is so tough to hear those cries.

[Anonymous]

Ways to help with stranger anxiety in infants:

Mom and dad should practice at home with the baby, leaving her alone for a minute or two (while saying, "I'm going to the laundry room, I'll be back in two minutes.")

Then you all should begin with both caregivers there together, giving baby a chance to get familiar with you. Then move to mom & dad taking short periods away that gradually increase in length. 20 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, three hours.

Make sure mom/dad have a goodbye ritual that they stick to consistently, make sure they say goodbye, and make sure that they leave quickly and don't return. Avoid making a fuss.

If possible, get baby comfortable in another room with both you and mom there before she leaves - this allows her to say goodbye and depart but with baby only seeing her leaving the room. Sometimes not seeing her leave the outer door helps cut down on the worst of the anxiety and that can prevent the permanent loop you got stuck in last time.

Have a lovey for her, preferably something mom can wear around - a scarf perhaps. Mom's scent and the familiar texture to snuggle on can be very comforting.