Should I email them?

[Anonymous]

I was a nanny for a family for 8ish months. Honestly, I could not stand MB. As a person, she really was just fine. But she was a huge helicopter/micromanaging mom. She was around and telling me what to do 4-5 hours out of the 8 hour day and it truly became unbearable. I was burning out but stayed because I cared about my charges and because I needed a job.

Well, one day we had a scheduling conflict. I was veryvery sick, emailed her Friday evening to tell her I could not work that weekend, and passed out with cold meds (I was off that day). She responded the next day saying ok but to keep her updated. I emailed her back saying I was getting worse and made a dr appt for Monday. Sunday comes along and I got an angry email because she felt like I didn't communicate with her well enough. Ooook? We could have worked that out...however...she called her old nanny (who left to have a baby almost a year prior) that night and left a voicemail asking if she could start working for her again. I found this out because I became friends with said nanny 3 months prior (turns out her old nanny was married to my neighbors brother! I saw her picture before and recognized her one day, we started talking, became facebook friends, etc. although she was on good terms with the family, she no longer had any contact with them and I never brought it up to MB. I wasn't trying to be sneaky but exnanny thought it would be better off that way and I agreed).

Long story short, ex nanny called me and asked what happened. I was very confused, asked nanny if it was ok I opened up to MB about our friendship (said sure) emailed MB (as I still didn't have a voice), told her how I knew the nanny and basically asked if I was being replaced. She said she was only looking for a "back up" nanny and I was not going to be fired and she really did not want me to quit and wanted me to come in on tuesday. (I heard the voicemail and it did sound like this was for a full time gig). I apologized for assuming but I have to protect myself and my employment for the sake of bills and had to confront her. I told her I could not work tuesday due to being sick and I wasn't sure what to do from that point on.

and I never heard from them again. o.O

At the time I didn't care. I felt bad in a lot of ways, but was also very burnt out with MB and over it. I have no idea whether I quit, was fired, or it was a "mutual" break up if you will.

Its been many months and I think of my charges often. I no longer work in the childcare field and Im so happy with my new job. Recently I was lurking on care.com looking for odd jobs for spare cash, and i saw MB looking for all sorts of help.

I'm not suggesting I try to work for them again but I am thinking of emailing them to say hello and apologize for how things turned out. Honestly, I think what happened was 50/50.....or 60/40 (lol being her fault). But I don't want the drama and I really am so curious about my charges. I don't think MB hates me or anything but it is a little awkward how things went down. I wouldn't be opposed to babysitting here and there but I don't think it's very appropriate?? I guess it's the soft spot for my charges talking....

Should I attempt to email? Or just move on with my life?

[Anonymous]

I would email with an approach that doesn't insinuate trying to babysit. See where it goes. Sad how things work out sometimes!

[Anonymous]

I completely understand your feelings regarding your previous charges OP.
But things kinda ended pretty badly.

Unfortunately, there are some families who view a sick nanny as the kiss of death. They don't understand that us nannies get sick, probably even more so since we are exposed to many germs daily. They get so angry and frustrated if we fall ill and cannot go to work for a few days and then they have to miss work, etc.
It is the family's sole responsibility to arrange back~up childcare in the event of a sick nanny or some other emergency. Yet, many families take the view that a sick nanny is a huge liability and have little forgiveness for illnesses.

OP, I wanted to ask you...Have you called in sick a lot these past 8 mos. or so? If so, I can understand her reaction.

However if this was your first time, then she is being completely unreasonable. For her to contact her other nanny on a whim and offer her her job back, then tell you she was only seeking a "back~up" option is completely untrue. She is just two~faced and believe me, consider it a blessing that you no longer are employed by this selfish and inconsiderate person.

The reason you saw her ad on Care.com is because since you left, she is probably having a tough time keeping a nanny due to the way she treats them.

I strongly discourage you from having anything to do w/this family.
I know you miss those kids, but you are going to have to suck it up and move on.

Life goes on. Everything evolves and it would be best if everyone in this situation moved on.
It seems they have and now you should.

You seem like a wonderful and caring nanny and I am glad you like your current job.

Just move on and do not look back.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I'd let it go. You didn't like the MB, you're happy in a new job (congrats) and it ended badly. Also, you were only with them for 8 mths.

I think there is probably a bit of blame on both sides for how it ended - it sounds pretty unprofessional. I can't see what would be served by contact - other than satisfying your curiousity.

Let it go and move on.

[Anonymous]

Let it go!

[Anonymous]

Move on. You need to let it go.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it was this incident alone that ruffled your former MB. There's probably more to the story then we will no but I will only focus on what was written above.

Calling out over email is kinda immature and unprofessional, no offence. You can say you were sick, etc but c'mon, were you really that sick that you couldn't speak? It would of helped you because at least then she could of heard how awful you sounded over the phone.

Also, I agree with your former MB 100%. You DIDN'T communicate well at all. Letting her no Friday that you wouldn't be able to work the weekend is one thing, but to let her no Sunday that you wouldn't be in Monday then calling out Tuesday after throwing the bombshell of knowing her previous nanny was the icing on the cake.

I know you miss your charge but really, I'd just move on. If you were employed for several years and grew very close to the family would be one thing, but 8 months I would really just leave it alone. They probably have another nanny or childcare giver and it's been a while since you worked for them. -- You could email an apologize but I personally would move on.

[Anonymous]

You should not email them. You will have to accept this is something you may never understand and just move on.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Why not? What are you gonna lose?

[Anonymous]

yes....

[Anonymous]

Just move on

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

Grow up, move on, and try to do better next time. You didn't handle the situation well, and they don't want you back. If they did, they would have called you.