Nanny in need of advice

[Anonymous]

I am a live out nanny, I've been with the same family for almost 3 years. I love the kids and the family like I would my own family. But I have a problem. I do a lot of work for this family my average hours are anywhere from 38.5 hours to 43 hours a week. I drive my own vehicle and live very close to their home, but I'm putting around 1,000 miles a month on my car just taking the kids to their activities plus any other visits to parks and stores. This is my frst nanny gig but i have done child care for many years, i average about $14.50 an hour, but its expensive to be here in northern Va even with my boyfriend paying for half the bills. I'm also working a second job just to support my living situation. But I'm getting burnt out faster with work. I do 90% of the house work for not only the kids but the parents as well, minus major cleaning and yard work. But most errands are run by me, along with spring cleaning anything needed to be donated for kids clothes sorting the kids clothes and even a lot of grocery shopping. Which I really don't mind but I feel like I am not getting the compensation for all that I do. How should I explain to them that I need more money without seeming ungrateful? I really do enjoy my work with this family and they have been very good to me, but I find myself looking for new jobs because I'm struggling to support myself comfortably. Please help me figure out how to do this in a kind way!

[Anonymous]

Once you spoil them, it's hard to backtrack. Can they afford to pay more?

[Anonymous]

Are they compensating you for gas/wear& tear on your car?

[Anonymous]

You're raising three different issues, and you need to sort out what you want from them for each.

1. All the driving of your car
2. Too many errands, cleaning
3. Low pay

If they paid you more, would you stop being burnt out? What if they agreed to hire someone to do errands, but they cut your pay, would that be okay? So you see, you need to sort out exactly what you want, and try to show a few options as solutions when you present your boss with a problem.

[Anonymous]

They pay for every other tank of gas and that's it. Honestly if they paid me more I wouldn't work the second job. I would be more content to stay. But what I need is around 5,000 more a year and I don't know if they can afford that. That almost as much as daycare. I really don't mind doing the extra stuff as long as we can come to an agreement on pay. That's my big concern is that what I make and what I do, I don't feel they match up. Am I being unrealalistic?

[Anonymous]

Plus what is realistic pay for 2 kids full time and one kid part time? I do all of the children's laundry, any sorting of removing of clothes that are to small or not right for the season, I go to doctors appointments with or without the parents, I take them to all social activities, help with animals while they are on vacation, stay over night occasionally. Stay late for date nights when I can. How much can I really ask for? I charge more to babysit other people's kids than I do the family I work for.

[Anonymous]

When you say you stay late for date nights or stay overnight are you being compensated for that or is it included in your weekly hours?

It's so difficult to change things once they are spoiled. Have you received raises? If you have never received a raise you are certainly due for one. Ask if you can set up a meeting. Make a list of all your responsibilities as well as examples of your flexibility. Tell them how much of an increase you would like. Once you have an answer you can choose to stay of begin looking elsewhere. If you're happy with this job overall, give them the chance to say no before you quit.

[Anonymous]

Another $5000/yr is a $2.40/hr raise. I doubt you're going to get that. What if you could negotiate a raise of $1-$2/hr plus they reimburse you for mileage or get a "nanny car?"

1000 miles a month at the IRS reimbursement rate would be about $550/mo = $6600/yr

Are you really driving that much, not including your commute to work? That seems like a lot ...

[Anonymous]

Also, don't underestimate the value of a good nanny. If they love you and want to keep you they may decide it's worth it to make other sacrifices in their budget in order to do so. Obviously, sometimes parents truly can't afford to give a raise but you won't know if you don't ask. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Nights that I stay late or over night we count as comp time so that if I go on vacation a different time they do I don't owe them hours. I do get raises every year about .50 cents. I would love to ask for a dollar but my concern is that they don't think I'm worth it. I am a good nanny I would do anything they asked me to do. Guess I'm just a little chicken shit to ask for a large raise. Compensation for mileage would be great, just for one activity today was 20 miles there and back. I actually moved closer to them a few months ago and now live about 3 miles away if not less than that. And for having a new vehicle that had 67,000 miles when I bought it, now has almost 70,000 and only about 700 of that is personal driving. I've only had the car since the first week in feb. so yes I drive a lot and we do something everyday not of it involves driving. Really not trying to complain, but it sounds like I am. But thank you for the advice, I will ask for a meeting after I have a list written down of what I do. Ill get a log started of how much mileage a week. And bring that to their attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nights that I stay late or over night we count as comp time so that if I go on vacation a different time they do I don't owe them hours. I do get raises every year about .50 cents. I would love to ask for a dollar but my concern is that they don't think I'm worth it. I am a good nanny I would do anything they asked me to do. Guess I'm just a little chicken shit to ask for a large raise. Compensation for mileage would be great, just for one activity today was 20 miles there and back. I actually moved closer to them a few months ago and now live about 3 miles away if not less than that. And for having a new vehicle that had 67,000 miles when I bought it, now has almost 70,000 and only about 700 of that is personal driving. I've only had the car since the first week in feb. so yes I drive a lot and we do something everyday not of it involves driving. Really not trying to complain, but it sounds like I am. But thank you for the advice, I will ask for a meeting after I have a list written down of what I do. Ill get a log started of how much mileage a week. And bring that to their attention.

Oh wow, they're royally screwing you. You say you get paid approx $15/hr but you're really making MUCH less than that and they're getting a deal (nanny/taxi/errand runner all rolled in one).. If they can get away with not paying you, they will. This is why it's very important for you to put your foot down. You don't 'owe' them anything. They're paying low for a much larger service. You're not just a babysitter so don't act like one. Show them that you're a professional nanny who deserves a decent rate PLUS mileage.

Also, don't use the "I'm struggling with bills" excuse when asking for a raise. Instead, write a list of all that you do for them, including the driving (and do the math and estimate how much you spend from your own money to drive their kids around).. Don't be a pushover and stay strong. They're going to continue to milk you until YOU do something. Nobody in this world cares about anyone but their selves/own needs and that's what you got to remember. When meeting with them try to forgot the personal setting and instead, act professional and think business.

[Anonymous]

I am working on putting together basically a new proposal for the family. With how's many miles I drive a week just with the kids. And what i would like to receive.. They are like family so it's very hard to 1 be super honest and say what I want, and 2 push for what I want.. I feel like a pushover..

[Anonymous]

OP just a reality check here but you are not being underpaid at 14.50 an hour for Northern Virginia. I may have missed one of your subsequent posts but you said you did light housekeeping yet only listed things like children's laundry, kid's dishes etc. You should be aware that those are normal nanny duties. Light housekeeping is going non-kid related tasks like parents laundry, vacuuming the entire house etc.

I do think you should ask for mileage reimbursement instead of just having the gas tank filled up every two weeks but this will require you to track your miles precisely. You could also point out that as long as the gas compensation is at or below the IRS rate it is not taxable for either you or your employer. You could take one week and watch your miles closely and then compare what this would cost them compared to what they are already paying filling up the tank. Unless the activities are ones that they really want to the kids doing or preschool, be aware that they may curb how far you can take the kids if its costing them a lot a money and not a necessary trip.

[Anonymous]

OP just a reality check here but you are not being underpaid at 14.50 an hour for Northern Virginia. I may have missed one of your subsequent posts but you said you did light housekeeping yet only listed things like children's laundry, kid's dishes etc. You should be aware that those are normal nanny duties. Light housekeeping is going non-kid related tasks like parents laundry, vacuuming the entire house etc.

I do think you should ask for mileage reimbursement instead of just having the gas tank filled up every two weeks but this will require you to track your miles precisely. You could also point out that as long as the gas compensation is at or below the IRS rate it is not taxable for either you or your employer. You could take one week and watch your miles closely and then compare what this would cost them compared to what they are already paying filling up the tank. Unless the activities are ones that they really want to the kids doing or preschool, be aware that they may curb how far you can take the kids if its costing them a lot a money and not a necessary trip.

This poster is correct. You're not being underpaid, but you should ask for a mileage reimbursement. The amount of money you want is a huge per hour increase and not realistic to expect.

[Anonymous]

I am keeping track for one week just activities the kids are signed up for. Nothing extra, but since I've posted this I've mentioned to the mom that while I'm not unhappy, money is becoming an issue for me and mileage. Since she is home 3-4 days a week she has offered me use of her vehicle. Which is fine with me. But I have asked for a meeting with both her and her husband at the beginning of May. Plus my responsibilities are not just kids laundry and dishes, it also sometimes includes dads laundry because if its in the washer it won't move until I finish it. If laundry and dishes don't get done I get in trouble. But I also do most of the grocery shopping I do a lot of personal assistant stuff. Most of the time it's if I'm already going out or something to do with the kids. I'm honestly just trying to get a feel for this field. I was thrilled to come work for them and now I feel like some days they take me for granted like not getting time in a half for over time. I didn't even know that was an option. I like have comp hours and really don't mind having just a steady pay check every week. But I'm worried if I ask for to many things to change then well ill be out of a job, and I love my kids and their family.. So I'm going to hopefully figure out a good way for everyone to win