MB 3 hours late, what to say when she arrives?? HELP!

[Anonymous]

I just started a new job last week, and so far I really enjoy the kids and I would like to see this work out. However, this is my third day on the job and so far not one day has gone "according to schedule."

I was hired last Monday for after-school/camp care, 3-6 M-F, MB asked if I could start Wednesday. Since the kids would be gettin out early for Easter break, she asked if I could come from 12-6 Wednesday and 8:30-6 Thurs and Fri. Wednesday was great, DB (divorced) was 15 mins late picking up the kids, no apology, no excuse, but no big deal. MB texts me at 7:50 Thursday morning telling me not to come in. Then Friday went well, until I got a text from MB 5 mins before 6:00 saying she had just left work. She was 40 mins late. No apology. She then informed me that she would be paying me every other week, so no paycheck. She told me I would be working a full day Monday (today) or not at all, but she would let me know ASAP. I got a text at midnight last night/this morning asking me to watch the kids for DB from 3-6. I waited for him to show up with the kids until 3:45, since apparently no one in the family owns a watch, and we have had a great day. 6:00 rolls around, no MB, no text. I called her finally at 6:30 and she tells me she's still at work and will leave by 7. It's now 9 and I am still at work.

What do I say to her?? I am so frustrated I honestly can't think straight enough to form a reasonable and professional response.

[Anonymous]

"Hi MB. It's good to see you. Listen, I just wanted to let you know that I really like Larla and Aidan, we're having a great time. But this lateness is not okay. Literally every SINGLE day I've worked for you so far, I've gotten off of work late, and that's not okay. From now on, you'll have to pay me a late fee of double my hourly salary any time you're 15 or more minutes late, and if I'll need the name of whichever neighbor you want me to walk the kids over to for any time you're going to be more than a half hour late. I very much enjoy your kids, but my life is just as important to me as your life is to you - I hope you can respect that."

I don't stand for bullshit.

[Anonymous]

You need to sit down with her (maybe once you've cooled down) and nail down some details and ground rules. She can't pick and choose your pay day. She needs to set a pay day and stick to it. You also need to ask for either a set schedule, or if the hours are in flux, a deadline for setting the schedule that you are comfortable with. Let her know that while you are flexible, you need a better idea of when you start and finish work. 3 hours after you were supposed to be off is unacceptable. You said you'd like to see this work, but honestly I think this family may be beyond reason. They do not respect you or your time.

[Anonymous]

I don't see this lasting long for you unless you have no spine. Seems to me this job is shit. I say look around and when you find a better one. Quit. They don't respect you.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB and I think that is horrible. Because of the nature of mine and DHs jobs we do sometimes have emergencies that keep us at work late but it is pretty rare. If I think I might be home late I ALWAYS let the nanny know with as much notice as possible to make sure it is ok and if it's a last minute emergency I still let her know right away. It's very inconsiderate of this MB that not only is she SO late but she's not giving you any warning. It's inconsiderate to say the least but also really irresponsible on her part. You really need to decide how much you want to keep this job and if you decide you do want to stay then be careful how you phrase things to this MB. She doesn't strike me as someone who will be respectful of you or take criticism well.

[Anonymous]

Quit as soon as she gets back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quit as soon as she gets back

+10000

I can't believe this wasn't your first suggestion. Total up your hours and what she owes you, quit on the spot and demand payment as soon as she gets home.

[Anonymous]

Even if MB does have a work emergency, she must call and ASK if I'm available to work OT. Sometimes she has to get a neighbor to cover if I have a workshop or something.

[Anonymous]

This is really inexcusable. I'm an MB and I cannot imagine behaving like this with anyone - let alone my nanny.

Just awful. I'm sorry.

I agree w/ everyone else - cool down, talk directly w/ the MB re payment and expectations, and immediately start looking for another job.

[Anonymous]

Hope you get your pay today. She sounds like a disrespectful flake.

[Anonymous]

Show her this thread. Let her see what other people think of how she is acting. Let her know that things need to change or else you will follow everyone's advice of finding a new position.

It is not ok for her to do what she is doing and she needs to learn this very quickly!

[Anonymous]

OP here- worst part? This isn't even the first time this has happened to me. I just moved, and I've had really bad luck so far. I know it's my fault, poor planning, interview skills, etc, but I'm feeling really discouraged.

Before I moved here I had worked for 3 families in 6 years. The first job ended after 2 years when I moved, the second ended after 3 years when their work situation changed, and the last for a year, and it was agreed that she would go to preschool around the same time I was planning to move again, so it worked out well. I still keep in touch with all of them.

Since I moved here in the Fall, I've had 3 jobs. First only lasted 2 months, and without giving away details, they lived in a mansion and wanted their house scrubbed daily, but didn't feel the need to mention that until I started (they had specifically said "no housekeeping"). Job 2 only lasted 2 weeks. I had to quit on the spot after they were 5 hours late. They had been late nearly every day before, usually by an hour. Now I have this job. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

I would stick it out until I got paid and quit. That's unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- worst part? This isn't even the first time this has happened to me. I just moved, and I've had really bad luck so far. I know it's my fault, poor planning, interview skills, etc, but I'm feeling really discouraged.

Before I moved here I had worked for 3 families in 6 years. The first job ended after 2 years when I moved, the second ended after 3 years when their work situation changed, and the last for a year, and it was agreed that she would go to preschool around the same time I was planning to move again, so it worked out well. I still keep in touch with all of them.

Since I moved here in the Fall, I've had 3 jobs. First only lasted 2 months, and without giving away details, they lived in a mansion and wanted their house scrubbed daily, but didn't feel the need to mention that until I started (they had specifically said "no housekeeping"). Job 2 only lasted 2 weeks. I had to quit on the spot after they were 5 hours late. They had been late nearly every day before, usually by an hour. Now I have this job. Ugh.

I remember you. You were about to start a position after those 2 and then something went wrong, and we all told you to not take it. Right? Something like that. Maybe you should move again, this time to a better location that has some normal families who are hiring. Or you really do need to work on your interview skills and have a friend talk to anyone that you are getting serious about working for (add them to your references as a personal reference). It really sounds like you need someone to help figure out the right questions to ask or give their opinion on the potential employers (what kind of vibes they got etc) before accepting something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stick it out until I got paid and quit. That's unacceptable.

This.

These people will only change when they have no choice.