How much should we factor in our nanny's commute?

[Anonymous]

We have a great nanny for our kids, ages 5 and 2. She has been with us for a year and takes Metro and bus to get to us in Arlington from her home in Fairfax County. I've never asked her about exactly how long her commute is but I think it's around an hour. We are in the process of looking for a new place to live. We are a one-car family and hope to stay that way for the foreseeable future, so staying close to Metro and/or Metrobus is already a factor. But we've seen some places that I think would increase her commute, and some that would decrease it. I'm worried that if it gets much longer than an hour she will not want to work for us anymore, though she NEVER complains about anything and at one point was looking for jobs in Capitol Hill, so it doesn't seem like a huge concern to her. My question is, how much would you consider this? We hope to be in our next home for at least 10-15 years, and she will only be with us for another 2-3 years at most, so it seems silly to make it the main consideration. But I also know how hard it was to find her and how upset we would all be to lose her after moving. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Honey, how could we possibly know the correct answer? All we can do is imagine how each one of us might feel in her shoes. How much would you like to commute, for instance? While you have your feelings, it does nothing to help you know how anyone else might feel.

Why not discuss it with her first, then come back here?

[Anonymous]

I would not consider it unless you're picking between 2 houses where all other things are equal and you use that as the tie-breaker. She could quit tomorrow or move herself, and then you'd have picked a house for a reason that no longer exists.
However, I'll admit that I am dragging my feet on house-hutning (as DH would like) becuase I do not want to move away from nanny. If we did decide to move though, then I would not restrict our hunt to houses in a certain commuting range from her house.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny that takes the metro to and from work. I would hate for my bosses to factor my commute into their home buying decision. I take the metro because I hate driving during rush hour, and like your family mine is also a one car household. That being said, I choose jobs that are metro accessible, and stick to about an hour commute, but would go further for a family I had a history with. Talk to your nanny. She, like me, may enjoy the reading time!

[Anonymous]

Yes, ask your nanny.

[Anonymous]

i don't think you should be making housing decisions (for purchase at least, perhaps renting would be different) based on your nanny's commute. But I certainly think it would be considerate to talk about it with her so you all know what to plan for and/or what to worry about.

[Anonymous]

If this nanny is the primary caregiver, it is indeed MOST appropriate for MB to consider if a relocation would force a broken bond between her children and their primary caregiver.

You parents who don't consider such details, are ruthless.

Here we have an OUTSTANDING example of how every MB should be, who has a hired FT nanny.

Regardless of the outcome, kudos to OP for putting her children's security and welfare, over that of a new house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous



i don't think you should be making housing decisions (for purchase at least, perhaps renting would be different) based on your nanny's commute. But I certainly think it would be considerate to talk about it with her so you all know what to plan for and/or what to worry about.

This is great advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous



i don't think you should be making housing decisions (for purchase at least, perhaps renting would be different) based on your nanny's commute. But I certainly think it would be considerate to talk about it with her so you all know what to plan for and/or what to worry about.

This is great advice.

Why don't you take a course in early childhood development, and learn some of the most critical needs of young children?

Or are you so callus, that you simply don't give a damn about children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If this nanny is the primary caregiver, it is indeed MOST appropriate for MB to consider if a relocation would force a broken bond between her children and their primary caregiver.

You parents who don't consider such details, are ruthless.

Here we have an OUTSTANDING example of how every MB should be, who has a hired FT nanny.

Regardless of the outcome, kudos to OP for putting her children's security and welfare, over that of a new house.

This.

[Anonymous]

Find out from her what the maximum commute she'd be willing to make is, and/or if a change in compensation/perks would stretch it at all. Really push her to be realistic about how much she can tolerate.

Then, as you go into the process of looking at homes, you'll already know whether it would allow you to keep her or not. It won't be anything you'll need to consider or factor in consciously, it will just be one piece of data you'll be looking at along with many, many other (more important) pieces.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of the outcome, kudos to OP for putting her children's security and welfare, over that of a new house.

Oh good grief, would you please go crawl back under your rock! The sacred bond is going to be broken in another 2 years anyway. Nannies are important but changing nannies is not a life altering event. No respectable child development course is going to teach you otherwise.

OP, nannies do not expect you to choose your house based on where they live. If she was looking for jobs in Cap Hill then she is at least open to the idea of commuting. If you have any schedule flexibility, you may want to consider seeing of there are better times that you could accommodate.

[Anonymous]

I am happy to see a parent being thoughtful about this and trying to maintain consistency and continuity for the kids- it really is important developmentally. But I don't think it's wise to base your decisions on your nanny's commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If this nanny is the primary caregiver, it is indeed MOST appropriate for MB to consider if a relocation would force a broken bond between her children and their primary caregiver.

You parents who don't consider such details, are ruthless.

Here we have an OUTSTANDING example of how every MB should be, who has a hired FT nanny.

Regardless of the outcome, kudos to OP for putting her children's security and welfare, over that of a new house.

Yes, OP is thoughtful but honestly, when considering where to live (let alone for 10+ years), a nanny's commute should not be a factor at all or eventually down the line, OP might regret it. I used to live just under 3 miles away from my MB but had to move and am now 20 miles away...it's not my MB's issue, responsibility or concern.

[Anonymous]

No, pp, it's ultimately the children who are the victims of severed bonds with their established primary caregiver.