Au Pairs and start time
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Anonymous
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I'm looking for how others handle this an opinion of other host families or even au pairs. When your au pair has a set time to start, do they come prepared to work or start their day at the start time? We typicall have AP start at 8am. Given some recent changes to DH and I's work schedules, sometimes we (and DS) are still eating, getting the day started, etc. Typically AP comes up at 8 and has her breakfast as we are finishing ours and starting the day. Sometimes DS (3) is already finished and plays quietly while she eats her breakfast. I have no problem with this given the early hour and the fact that some days they eat their breakfast together.
Fast forward to this past week, where I had to adjust her work schedule (to stay within 10 hours/day) for some after work functions. We had her start at 10. By this time, I had DS fed, bathed/dressed and ready for his day. She came up at 10, slowly made her breakfast, and sat down to eat it with little interaction with my son, while I had to go upstairs to finish getting ready for my day. Now, he can definitely play independently and she could see what he was doing so he wasn't in danger. I think I was put off by this lazy attitude, b/c by 10 I'd be expecting them to head to the park, start an activity, etc.....that's why I had her work day start at 10. This doesn't happen that often, but I guess I'm just wondering how I should handle this differently the next time. As additional background, she has slightly lazy tendencies, but in general I think takes good care of our son and follows our direction fairly well. Do I just let this type of thing go? Thanks in advance! |
Anonymous
| Yep, let it go. Nothing here to get so consumed about. |
Anonymous
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I make it clear that by the start time, AP should have already finished her breakfast. So, if the start time is 8am, she probably wants to in the kitchen getting her breakfast ready at 7:45 so that she's done by 8.
DH & I are often still around at 8am. |
Anonymous
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OP, here is the passage from our Household Handbook where we address this issue. I go through the handbook with each AP a few days after arrival to make sure she understands everything in it. Because this is so clear, we have never had an issue about APs not being ready to go at the start of their shift.
"We expect you to be ready to start working at the time we ask you to begin each day, so you should plan to wake up, eat breakfast, take a shower, or do whatever you need to do, to prepare for the day, prior to the time that we ask you to start." |
Anonymous
| Seems like so much work for the host family. I guess you have to be super committed to doing it. |
Anonymous
| I've had this situation and explained to the au pair that if she is starting at a time when the kids will still be eating breakfast I would welcome her eating her breakfast with them but if she is starting after thei breakfast time she should be ready to hit the ground running at start time with whatever the kids are up to in their day. This is completely reasonable. |
Anonymous
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Agreed. It's just a matter of shifted expectations. The BEST au pair (like the best any type of employee) would have just realized on her own that this schedule change required a different approach, and would have been ready to do whatever she usually does with your child by 10am (park, library, playdate etc.). But if she is generally on the lazy, non-intuitive side as you state, and you are used to coaching her, then this is just another instance where that is needed.
Don't let your irritation fester, especially if you will have to do these kind of schedule shifts more often now. You could just say tonight, "hey, just wanted to go over some things about the new schedule. As you noticed, we'll sometimes have you starting later in the day, when DS has already eaten, finished dressing, etc. If that is the case, we'd like you to be ready to get him out the door to ______ as soon as you start on the days when you'll be starting at 9:30, 10, etc." We also have a roll-out-of-bed-five-minutes-before-shift AP, and it usually works out that she can eat breakfast and have coffee with the kids at the start of her shift, but she is not generally lazy at all, and when the schedule shifts later she is ready to go. |
Anonymous
| No matter how it's cut, APs are still treated like maids and personal servants. The program should be overhauled or done away with. |
Anonymous
Who are you? |
Anonymous
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When I was an Au pair, I usually got up with the little one at 6am. I would get ready for the day when he was napping later in the morning and his sister was at school.
Whenever I started later, say at 8, I would be showered, dressed and ready to get the day started. If this bothers you, talk to her. Maybe it's fine if she does it for the 8am time, but should be ready for later starts. |
Anonymous
Wake up, people. This is it!!! We all know it's legalized slave trade. Rich white American women taking advantage of poor foreigners who can't afford to come here on their own. Just not right and everyone knows it, even you. |
Anonymous
| I'm sure my AP, who just got back from yet another wonderful long weekend away with her friends (they rolled in around noon today, having left Friday afternoon) and will work 3 hours this afternoon before being off to go to the gym, hang out, or go shopping, as she wishes, absolutely agrees with you. Absolutely. She is SOOOO resentful of being treated like such a slave. |
Anonymous
| Good for her! That girl is doing exactly what she came for. |
Anonymous
| How's her job performance when she's on the clock? |
Anonymous
Lazy, entitled, overpaid American women, yes, you're right. |