Our house is crappy, but in hot area in big city. Do APs care?
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Anonymous
| Another newbie question. How nice do the accomodations have to be? Our house is kinda crappy- an unrenovated rowhouse in a very HOT area in DC. Tons of APs in area. Near everything, etc... The house is updated, but has not had the mackdaddy renos a lot of people are used to. We'll probably do a full-on reno in a few years. AP would have "decent" accomodations, but the house kinda sucks. Is this okay or is someone likely to be like "time for rematch- WTF". BTW- We can afford the au pair and fair pay, so our digs don't do us justice. We've just decided with two little ones (pre-school and infant) and very busy jobs, it's not feasible for us to renovate right now. Can't handle the stress. We'll regroup when baby hits pre-school age in two more years. Thanks for the honesty. Don't want to bother going down this road if the digs are deal breaker. |
Anonymous
| I suspect your AP will care more about the neighborhood than the house! If you have the space for her - which you don't indicate but I assume you do - I can't imagine this would be an issue at all! |
Anonymous
| The smart AP will care about how you treat her and where (location) your house is in terms of social life. As long as she has this and a clean, private, proper room, she should be happy. My advice is to read AP mom blogs to get tips on how to choose an AP who is not a "princess", regardless of house size or style. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't worry. I think plenty of families w/ au pairs don't have super nice accommodations. Our AP's space room is very small, but she has a nice bath and is separate from family. I've never heard complaints. |
Anonymous
| Our house is tiny and our AP works hard. But we treat her very well, we maximize our house's good sides, and we were very clear in matching that all of her friends would have bigger houses (and their own car, where she shares) than she. Still, she loves us and loves our sweet tiny house and gets defensive about it if we even start to diss it. So we picked well and she picked well. If you can do the same, your 'crappy house' won't matter one whit. |
Anonymous
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Don't worry about your house not being renotated.
You should just make sure your AP gets a comfortable room and as long as your family's respectful, everything will go well. |
Anonymous
If I was an AP, I would take your home in the hot area with everything close and lots of other AP a million time over a new "French Chateau" in the middle of nowhere in Great Falls |
Anonymous
| We lived in another big city in a "crappy" rental apartment, though our au pair's room was big and comfortable and she had a bathroom mostly to herself (not used by the family, only by guests sometimes since it was by the front door). I think she much preferred our home right in the city, with nightlife and culture either right out the door or a short subway ride away - even though our apartment wasn't modern and had jerry-rigged tiny dishwasher and weird barely-working washer/dryer and was a walk-up - to the large, beautiful suburban house she was in before she rematched, where she had a mile+ walk to the bus that took her to the commuter train to the city, and no car access. Her suburban au pair friends always stayed over so they could stay out late in the city and not have to worry about catching the last train home or having to pay for a really expensive cab ride. The suburban au pair friends all lived in much nicer houses, but I think living in the city (even in a "crappy" house) is worth so much more to an au pair looking for culture and adventure in a well-known American city than living in a house with a giant kitchen with brand-new granite counters and marble jacuzzi tubs in each of the five bathrooms that is in the suburbs and further from the city. |
Anonymous
| As long as it's in a great neighborhood and they have their own room, I think they'll be fine. And of course, if you are nice to live with. I wouldn't worry about the house not being the fanciest. |
Anonymous
| I had an AP candidate say she wasn't interested because her room was in the basement. We live in a great neighborhood, but the basement was a deal breaker for her. Oh well... |
Anonymous
OP, we live in Silver Spring by the Metro (like right around the corner from it). Our house is smallish (1,600 sq ft?) and our AP room is upstairs with the rest of us and we all share the bathroom. I think our house is pretty updated and we keep it very neat and clean. The AP room is really cute - I decorated it the way I would decorate a room if I were single  and it has a pretty big closet given the size of the room. We also share our one car, but DH and I rarely use it since we take bus/metro most places anyway. We're not in a "hot" area really, although our AP spends most every weeknight at bars in SS and then it's an easy walk home. There are tons of other au pairs too. And it's also really easy to get to the hot DC areas, and we always have other suburban APs staying with us because they can't get to their giant private suites after clubbing until 3am.
So that's our set up. We're very clear in our profile (so before the AP even talks to us she knows) about our situation. We've had a number of candidates say they don't want to share a bathroom, which is completely fine. But all three times we've matched, we've also had our pick of who we want. Like we'll have 5 or 6 candidates that we like that would come to us if we said the word. They all know exactly what they're getting and we make sure to tell them that other people will have bigger houses with private AP areas. We play up the accessibility, the shopping and bars right out our front door, and the fact that we're actually a nice family that plays by the rules. We've had three successful au pairs with this set up. Now I will say that one of them made comments probably once a week or so about the set ups her friends had. I think she was unhappy with her choice, but failed to see the whole picture. She seemed to think she could have found a family that never had her work and was really nice to her where she had a private suite and car. I've yet to truly hear about this family (honestly most of the ones that live in a huge house in Great Falls seem to want to treat their APs like maids in our experiences - not that it always happens, but it's a story I hear over and over!). This AP was our worst AP all around and we definitely chose poorly with her. The other two seemed to appreciate what they were getting and didn't seem to mind the small accommodations, at least not enough to say anything or be unhappy. I think you'll be fine if you make sure you pick someone who doesn't have it in her head that she's coming to America where everyone has huge houses, and six luxury vehicles, and money will be handed to her for everything. There are definitely those au pairs out there. Look for the ones that are coming to be part of a supportive family and who are looking to have a great time in the city. |
Anonymous
Why don't you try living in your basement and see if you like it? |
Anonymous
I don't see the issue with living in a basement personally, and in fact did when I was AP aged. But APs will also need to consider that if they are refusing all host families with basement rooms and rooms on the same level as the family, they're going to find it very difficult to match. |
Anonymous
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If the AP living space gives her some privacy away from you and your kids, she will probably be fine, even if the space is small.
And I totally agree about renovating when you still have small children! |
Anonymous
| You can put photos in your application, so they can see and screen you out if its an issue. |