MB who seems to LIKE making her children cry.

[Anonymous]

Ok, the title was an attention grabber, sort of.

Every. Single. Time. MB leaves, she makes a big scene until the LO cry and beg for her to stay. Every. Single. Time. I've been here for about 4 months, and usually I arrive after MB leaves and it's DB who goes, but since last week DB's schedule has changed and he leaves earlier. I understand to an extent, she wants to feel loved and needed, but honestly these children already think she hung the moon, it's not like they don't care for her, they LOVE LOVE LOVE her (as it should be). So why does she have to make it an ordeal for me and the children every day? Today, I had the children sort of distracted with an activity, so when she went to go they didn't fuss much. So she literally came back inside, claiming she forgot something (which she very well could have) and then picked up the two youngest, kissed them and then said "I have to leave now, bye bye I love you SO much", and of course they go into meltdown mode. It is the most irritating thing, I hate being left with screaming and crying children, why does she do this? I want her to realize it's not fair to me OR the children to make her exit so traumatic. How do I approach her? I mean, I can't very well tell her how she is suppose to go.

[Anonymous]

They are her children, she can do as she pleases. Don't like it, quit.

Otherwise be thankful you have a job.

Jeez, what else will you broads complain about?

[Anonymous]

^^And your problem is? No need to be harsh about it... Imo, I think this is an issue that you should discuss with MB. Tell her that her excessive, dramatic good-byes with the children greatly upset them, and this interfes wirh their morning routine. Explain that you never had this issue with DB, and that you believe it was so because he kept his good-byes loving but not "over the top." Try to meet on common ground with he best interstate of the children at heart, and phrase it in a way that will make her consider this rationally without totally blaminhvor criticizing her for it. Good Ouch

[Anonymous]

*Luck*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are her children, she can do as she pleases. Don't like it, quit.

Otherwise be thankful you have a job.

Jeez, what else will you broads complain about?

You must hate your life to be such an ignorant and cruel person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^And your problem is? No need to be harsh about it... Imo, I think this is an issue that you should discuss with MB. Tell her that her excessive, dramatic good-byes with the children greatly upset them, and this interfes wirh their morning routine. Explain that you never had this issue with DB, and that you believe it was so because he kept his good-byes loving but not "over the top." Try to meet on common ground with he best interstate of the children at heart, and phrase it in a way that will make her consider this rationally without totally blaminhvor criticizing her for it. Good Ouch

+1

Good luck, OP. I think we have all known MBs that do this and it is no picnic for anyone!

[Anonymous]

BTDT OP, and ended up leaving that job last October. Not for that reason, but the hard MB mornings set the tone for the day and made many mornings miserable.

[Anonymous]

While I agree that it isn't fair (neither to you or the children) I don't know if it would be appropriate for you to say anything. If you take on more of a co-parent role and MB consults you for child rearing advice then I think that it would be safe for you to mention something gently. If MB calls all of the shots and she doesn't ever come to you to hear about your child rearing philosophies or advice regarding dealing with the children's behavior, etc., then it might inappropriate to say something. It really depends on the type of relationship you have with MB and how open you are with her. If you mentioned something to some parents they might think that you're trying to tell them how to parent or get defensive.

If you do mention something I would try to keep the focus on the children and let her know how it disrupts their morning after they go into meltdown mode. You can tell her that you hate seeing them upset and go over some ways to avoid this.

[Anonymous]

Tough situation. Her behavior probably comes from guilt and insecurity so maybe it will settle over time. And hopefully you'll build a relationship w/ her where perhaps you could suggest a diffierent way of handling things.

Maybe you can model some different behavior for her when you leave (without being obnoxious or too obvious about it).

Also, maybe you could say that you're left w/ screaming upset kids so you'd like to try something new, would she be willing to see if it could work, etc... Have a plan for a fun activity that happens when she leaves and ask for her help in setting it up, helping her kids not be so upset, etc... A mother doesn't want her kids to be upset for long so come at it from that angle (not that she's doing anything wrong but you're trying to make the time when she has to leave happier/easier for the kids and could she maybe help you with an idea...)

Good luck!