Too much to do during a non-existent nap time

[Anonymous]

I nanny for 2, 10 month old babies in a share. Both babies ideally take 2 1-hour naps every day, and during said naps I am supposed to each lunch and take a break, straighten the playroom, clean the breakfast dishes, prepare the babies' lunch, wash and fold cloth diapers or their clothing depending on the day, sanitize toys and surfaces, and fill out their ridiculously detailed logs. In reality their nap times can be staggered by as much as 30 minutes, leaving only 30 minutes of overlap to accomplish everything. I have been doing okay getting everything done in the past although I often skip lunch to finish things. However now 1 of the babies is having a difficult time napping and will take a short 20 minute nap or skip it all together. This same child is very high strung and clingy so its extremely difficult to get anything done with him awake and to keep him from waking the other child. He is used to being constantly engaged and comforted by his mom (attachment parenting) and she expects the same level of constant attention for him during the day with me. I'm tired of skipping lunch, and I just don't see what I could be doing to make things happen more smoothly. I have considered talking to the parents and asking that some of chores be dialed back some but I have a feeling they will not take that well. Any suggestions???

[Anonymous]

OMG. If only one of these "parents" could try out having twins, oh, just for one day. Let's see how much else they get done.
Nanny needs to be sick for a day....
And let's see what happens in the log...

[Anonymous]

I think you need to go ahead and tell them that there is really no way that you can get all of those chores down, especially with nap times being up in the air. You should not be having to skip eating lunch. I'd just be honest with them and tell them that because the babies sleeping isn't guaranteed, you need to scale back on your duties. Maybe start washing/folding the laundry two days a week? If you are having to do that everyday, that is ridiculous. Also, sanitizing toys and surfaces could realistically happen every two days.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound inexperienced. 10 months olds shouldn't be napping only 30 minutes sporadically. A skilled nanny knows how to manage the children's schedule so that they get adequate sleep.

Are you going places between naps where they fall asleep in a stroller or a car seat? This can sabotage their nap schedule because the motion of the car seat and stroller helps them nod off but they are not sleeping soundly. They will wake up once you take them out and then not want to nap later on even though they didn't get enough sleep.

Do you have a routine established to support a regular nap time? Turning down the lights, having some quiet time beforehand, and following the same schedule can make a big difference. Good engagement and physical activity (tummy time for younger babies, crawling around or clapping to music for older babies, walking outside for walkers) makes a huge difference.

If you are watching TV with them, stop it. The fast moving images overstimulate them and its more difficult for them to sleep.

Eating times also make a difference. Milk or formula can have a relaxing effect but foods with a lot of sugar (juice, baby yogurt) are better for after naps.

On the tasks, these are basic nanny 101 tasks not even light housekeeping. The bigger problem is that you aren't managing the kids nap schedule and its unhealthy for them. There is also no reason why you should be able to get done basic nanny duties.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We go NOWHERE. I'm not allowed to take them anywhere. Our schedule is the same every day and we have an established nap time routine. They often will not sleep at night, skip ALL of their naps on the weekends with their parents, and I spend all week trying to get them back on schedule and napping again only to have the parents throw it out the window come Saturday. I realize that these tasks are basic and have no issue doing them. I'm having a difficult time making it happen when the parents aren't interested in sleep training, encourage clingy behavior, and the only way they can get to sleep is after 20-30 minutes of rocking. I'm not the most experienced but this also isn't my first rodeo. I've done everything I know to do, but I've been instructed NOT to sleep train, not to let them cry EVER, and if they want to be held all day then so be it apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We go NOWHERE. I'm not allowed to take them anywhere. Our schedule is the same every day and we have an established nap time routine. They often will not sleep at night, skip ALL of their naps on the weekends with their parents, and I spend all week trying to get them back on schedule and napping again only to have the parents throw it out the window come Saturday. I realize that these tasks are basic and have no issue doing them. I'm having a difficult time making it happen when the parents aren't interested in sleep training, encourage clingy behavior, and the only way they can get to sleep is after 20-30 minutes of rocking. I'm not the most experienced but this also isn't my first rodeo. I've done everything I know to do, but I've been instructed NOT to sleep train, not to let them cry EVER, and if they want to be held all day then so be it apparently.

I think you should start looking for a new job. I would not be able to handle working for parents who refuse to sleep train thir kids...especially 10 month olds...and then have you complete a million tasks while dealing with fussy kids. I'd look now.

[Anonymous]

New job ASAP. There is no way in hell I would work in a share were I couldn't sleep train. I have a share with a 12 month old and 6 month old, they are on the exact same schedule at the moment. When I move the older one to one nap a day it will still coordinate with one of the younger baby's naps. They each sleep about 4 hours a day everyday and through the night since they were 3months. I also have no chores except cleaning up after the children and myself. I don't even do the babies laundry because the mom refuses to let me (she wants to feel more involved).

They need to sleep train those kids and teach them to be patient. They can't always be carried or have their way. They are just setting themselves up for more issues later on.

If you choose to not find a new job then I would put both children on one nap a day which they seem ready for since they don't nap longer then 30mins. And I would start eating lunch with them. They should be on finger foods by now and eating with them is a great way to teach proper eating habits/manners. Clean up as you go, even if that means put the kids on the floor next to you as you wash dishes. Finally, stick up for yourself and don't let them walk over you.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the parents.

You might have to fold laundry on the floor of the playroom while you keep them company.

They might have to eat some Cheerios in their high-chairs while you prepare their lunches.

The log might get filled out little bits throughout the day. Play with the kids for 10 minutes, step away for 5 to fill in some gaps, etc.

This is how I get everything done on no-nap days, just tell the parents the situation and let them know that the only way for you to get everything done is to do it this way - surely they'll see how reasonable that is. If not, ask them to clarify explicitly that they would prefer you to be actively with the children rather than accomplishing baby-related tasks (and when they do, go ahead and let some things slide when you just can't get it done).

[Anonymous]

Is the play area baby-proofed?
Can you fold laundry and the other things while they're awake? I eat lunch with my charges while they're awake.

[Anonymous]

Healthy boundaries are a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to go ahead and tell them that there is really no way that you can get all of those chores down, especially with nap times being up in the air. You should not be having to skip eating lunch. I'd just be honest with them and tell them that because the babies sleeping isn't guaranteed, you need to scale back on your duties. Maybe start washing/folding the laundry two days a week? If you are having to do that everyday, that is ridiculous. Also, sanitizing toys and surfaces could realistically happen every two days.

Many parents don't sanitize toys and some surfaces more than twice a week, people get too freaked out over germs these days... It takes 3 seconds to sanitize things that really need it like kitchen counters and high chairs.

[Anonymous]

Nannies of multiples know how to get babies to sleep and it doesn't have to involve CIO. Daycares also keep multiple infants on the same nap schedule all the time. Its doubtful that the parents are following the same scheduled. Daycares can't let the kids CIO or do traditional sleep training as it would wake the other babies.

OP you just aren't cut out for this job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies of multiples know how to get babies to sleep and it doesn't have to involve CIO. Daycares also keep multiple infants on the same nap schedule all the time. Its doubtful that the parents are following the same scheduled. Daycares can't let the kids CIO or do traditional sleep training as it would wake the other babies.

OP you just aren't cut out for this job.

Children at daycare are habitually overtired from bad, inconsistent, or nonexistent napping. For a share to function well the kids should be on similar if not identical schedules, and the parents need to be on board with making that happen. Attachment parenters need to either pony-up the money for their own nanny, stay home with their own kid, or accept your reality. You are in a share, and that means sharing the nanny in all senses not just sharing her salary. Your child can't monopolize the nanny with his need for constant attention to the point that the nanny cannot get her tasks done or take care of the other child.

[Anonymous]

Children at daycare are habitually overtired from bad, inconsistent, or nonexistent napping. For a share to function well the kids should be on similar if not identical schedules, and the parents need to be on board with making that happen. Attachment parenters need to either pony-up the money for their own nanny, stay home with their own kid, or accept your reality. You are in a share, and that means sharing the nanny in all senses not just sharing her salary. Your child can't monopolize the nanny with his need for constant attention to the point that the nanny cannot get her tasks done or take care of the other child.

Not true at all. A good daycare doesn't have overtired children from inconsistent or nonexistent napping. Maybe you have worked at crappy ones but the ones that I have experience with, this was never the case. A nannies job is to manage the nap schedule during the week. In my experience, a different nap schedule on the weekend does not throw everything out the window. Any nanny who thinks the only way to institute a schedule is to put them in the crib, shut the door and let them scream just doesn't know what she is doing.

The problem is that there are too many nannies out there with no childcare skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Children at daycare are habitually overtired from bad, inconsistent, or nonexistent napping. For a share to function well the kids should be on similar if not identical schedules, and the parents need to be on board with making that happen. Attachment parenters need to either pony-up the money for their own nanny, stay home with their own kid, or accept your reality. You are in a share, and that means sharing the nanny in all senses not just sharing her salary. Your child can't monopolize the nanny with his need for constant attention to the point that the nanny cannot get her tasks done or take care of the other child.

Not true at all. A good daycare doesn't have overtired children from inconsistent or nonexistent napping. Maybe you have worked at crappy ones but the ones that I have experience with, this was never the case. A nannies job is to manage the nap schedule during the week. In my experience, a different nap schedule on the weekend does not throw everything out the window. Any nanny who thinks the only way to institute a schedule is to put them in the crib, shut the door and let them scream just doesn't know what she is doing.

The problem is that there are too many nannies out there with no childcare skills.

In my experience, a weekend-long disruption of a sleep routine has been enough to disrupt an infant's sleep schedule until Wednesday or Thursday of the following week. Not true for all children, but just as some adults suffer from insomnia or other sleep disorders, babies have different rhythms as well, and different sensitivities. To say that the OP clearly has no childcare skills because she has two infants with different sleep schedules and routines (CIO vs. attachment?!) at home is really rude. Would you imply that a mother whose colicky baby cries all the time has no parenting skills? Not everything can be accounted for by knowledge and experience - there is the human variable to consider.