Concerned, what do I do?
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Anonymous
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I was 10 minutes early for work this morning and saw DB halfway down the street walking the dog. Mom is away on business so I rushed into the house knowing the kids were alone and found the 3 year old eating breakfast and the 5 year old looking for DB. He didn't come back for at least anther 5 minutes.
I'm going to assume this is not the first time this has happened when Mb was away. I know this is something she would not be okay with. my question is do I tell her now, wait til she comes back, say something to DB, or leave it alone? |
Anonymous
| Tell DB you'd like him to stay with the kids until you arrive. Is he normally that inept? |
Anonymous
| He was a half a block away. If you're truly concerned and not being an alarmist, why don't you offer to come in a half hour early so someone can be with the kids and the dog won't have to hold its bladder? That would actually be helpful. |
Anonymous
| So the dog has to pee inside when mb is away? Are you kidding me? |
Anonymous
| What do you expect him to do with the dog? Offer something that would help the situation rather than causing trouble for him. It sounds like things were under control, though maybe he should have told the 5 year old where he was going and given him something to occupy him, like the 3 year old eating breakfast. |
Anonymous
Lmao she should tell him that SHE would like him to stay inside? They aren't her kids...they are his. He'd either laugh at her or fire her for thinking she could tell him what to do. |
Anonymous
+1 I wouldn't TELL him he has to stay with the kids until she arrives. Obviously his only option to get the dog to go to the bathroom isn't taking it for a walk around the block... he could easily go out with the dog in the yard. I'm not really sure how I would handle this situation.... Keep in mind that if you rat DB out to MB then things might be awkward between you and him. |
Anonymous
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Op here..
Mom would have taken the kids with her. He was gone 10 minutes, and left a 3 year old eating (she could've choked), and a 5 yo known to play with tools when he thinks no one s looking. To leave 2 children alone at that age is illegal, not to mention dangerous. The dog doesn't usually go out until after I get there anyway. I'm very surprised no one sees anything wrong with this. |
Anonymous
I am the PP who posted before you posted this comment. I do see something wrong with this. I absolutely don't think that children of this age should be left alone. However, I don't think you can really "tell" the parents how to parents their children or what they can or cannot do. You can tell them about their discomfort with something. I don't disagree that you should do/say something I am just not sure what should be said and to whom. |
Anonymous
And watch you lose your job. It is not your place to say anything. You are the HELP. Not a family member. |
Anonymous
| How do you know the mom doesn't already know? He is not a child nor a nanny who has the same relationship with MB as you....his WIFE cannot just tell him the way she wants things run when she is gone b/c he is half of the parenting equation too. Plus she may seem one way around you but let things slide with her husband, we don't know. What would you hope would change about this situation if you told your MB about it? |
Anonymous
| You say the 5 yo was looking for DB. Was the child upset? scared? concerned? At all uneasy with being left alone? If any of the above seem applicable, I might try to spin it as "Little Annie was really upset that she was alone this morning, maybe tomorrow if you need to walk the dog before I get here you can bring the kids with you, or stay right in the yard so that she's not scared without you." That way you're not directly calling his parenting decisions into question, just pointing out a detail of your day, and possible ways to improve on it. |
Anonymous
| OP, I don't think you should say anything. It really isn't your job to tell the parents how to parent and your feedback might not be taken well. |
Anonymous
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OP, you should say something to your DB along the lines of, "I noticed that DC1 and DC2 were home alone when I arrived yesterday. I'm really concerned about what they might get into, even in just a few minutes, so wanted to see if it would be helpful if I came in 15 minutes early until MB is home from her trip, just to give you a little more time to get things done in the morning?"
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Anonymous
| Dejavu? Wasn't this same story in the old forum months ago? |