Live-in and personal taste in art....

[Anonymous]

We have four school aged children, including one with special needs. We hired a Grad student to be our part time nanny, and so far it's worked out wonderfully. Our children love her, she is a great tutor for all four, and is especially patient with our son who is on the autism spectrum. She currently is living in our "nanny quarters", a nice condo above our garage (which is detached from the rest of the house. She is living rent-free in a one bedroom, one bath with a full kitchen and living room. We only made a few rules, like no repainting without our permission and no holes (from nails/tacks) in the walls, otherwise she can do as she wants with it. She is not expected to watch the children in her space, but at times has invited the eldest (our 14-year-old daughter) to eat with her or watch a movie, which is of course, fine with us. My only concern is that she has two paintings that are just not in my taste. By no means are they explicit or pornagraphic, just two oil paintings of topless women. I know this is her space, and we gave her the freedom to decorate it as she wants, but I really don't like the idea of my children coming into contact with art I find inappropriate. Do I have the right to tell her to remove them or cover them up?

Please, be kind. I'm honestly unsure of the boundaries in this situation.

[Anonymous]

If you just didn't like the art I would tell you to suck it up. However, because it is of a naked form (regardless of whether or not it is sexual) I think that it is fair for you to ask her to:

A. Remove it.
B. Keep the children out or her living quarters so that they are not exposed to it.
C. Have her put it in her bedroom so it is more private and ask her to keep the children away from it.

[Anonymous]

If they aren't explicit or pornographic, than what's the problem? You just don't like it?

Well, I guess you just tell her not to take your kids to her quarters. While you may have a "right" to do that or ask her to take it down, you're being kind of silly trying to censor the art your nanny chooses. Out there in the world there are many non explicit and non pornographic art that you won't like and your kids will see it. You're better off talking to them about it then trying to win the battle to censor.

[Anonymous]

Is the nanny gay?
You can tell the nanny that you don't want your daughter going in her space. If the nanny asks why tell her. She can then offer to take down the pictures if she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the nanny gay?
You can tell the nanny that you don't want your daughter going in her space. If the nanny asks why tell her. She can then offer to take down the pictures if she wants.

No, she has a boyfriend who lives in a different state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the nanny gay?
You can tell the nanny that you don't want your daughter going in her space. If the nanny asks why tell her. She can then offer to take down the pictures if she wants.

lol yeah because all lesbians MUST have paintings of breasts hanging all over their walls. *shake my head* i hate ignorant people.

[Anonymous]

Personally I don't see what the problem is...do you never take your kids to an art museum??

I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than not allow the kids in her space. Feel free to tell her why...and actually it's better if you do so she isn't left wondering if she did/said something wrong.

You mentioned she isn't allowed to put any nail holes in the wall...how is she displaying the art? (And what's up the the nail hole thing?? I grew up with a step dad like that and it was AWFUL!!!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I don't see what the problem is...do you never take your kids to an art museum??

I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than not allow the kids in her space. Feel free to tell her why...and actually it's better if you do so she isn't left wondering if she did/said something wrong.

You mentioned she isn't allowed to put any nail holes in the wall...how is she displaying the art? (And what's up the the nail hole thing?? I grew up with a step dad like that and it was AWFUL!!!)

We use command hooks in our house, tons of holes in the walls bring down the value of our property. She had no problem with it, they are fairly cheap and easy to install.

The question wasn't whether you believe my children should be exposed to nude art or not, it wasn't a question about my child-rearing practices. The question was about what I can and cannot ask my live-in to do, and if it would be within my boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Get over it, lady, and tell the nanny that your daughter doesn't go in there. Done?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, don't mean to be mean, you just need to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

No, you can not tell her to take down the art. What you can do is tell her you are uncomfortable with your kids being around her art of topless women, but you love that she has private time with the 14 yr old, so could she either have that private time NOT in the space where the topless photos are or cover them when your kids are there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I don't see what the problem is...do you never take your kids to an art museum??

I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than not allow the kids in her space. Feel free to tell her why...and actually it's better if you do so she isn't left wondering if she did/said something wrong.

You mentioned she isn't allowed to put any nail holes in the wall...how is she displaying the art? (And what's up the the nail hole thing?? I grew up with a step dad like that and it was AWFUL!!!)

We use command hooks in our house, tons of holes in the walls bring down the value of our property. She had no problem with it, they are fairly cheap and easy to install.

The question wasn't whether you believe my children should be exposed to nude art or not, it wasn't a question about my child-rearing practices. The question was about what I can and cannot ask my live-in to do, and if it would be within my boundaries.

well then since I failed to answer your questiin: no you cannot tell her what she can or cannot hang in her private living space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I don't see what the problem is...do you never take your kids to an art museum??

I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than not allow the kids in her space. Feel free to tell her why...and actually it's better if you do so she isn't left wondering if she did/said something wrong.

You mentioned she isn't allowed to put any nail holes in the wall...how is she displaying the art? (And what's up the the nail hole thing?? I grew up with a step dad like that and it was AWFUL!!!)

We use command hooks in our house, tons of holes in the walls bring down the value of our property. She had no problem with it, they are fairly cheap and easy to install.

The question wasn't whether you believe my children should be exposed to nude art or not, it wasn't a question about my child-rearing practices. The question was about what I can and cannot ask my live-in to do, and if it would be within my boundaries.

well then since I failed to answer your questiin: no you cannot tell her what she can or cannot hang in her private living space.

In the OP's living space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I don't see what the problem is...do you never take your kids to an art museum??

I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than not allow the kids in her space. Feel free to tell her why...and actually it's better if you do so she isn't left wondering if she did/said something wrong.

You mentioned she isn't allowed to put any nail holes in the wall...how is she displaying the art? (And what's up the the nail hole thing?? I grew up with a step dad like that and it was AWFUL!!!)

We use command hooks in our house, tons of holes in the walls bring down the value of our property. She had no problem with it, they are fairly cheap and easy to install.

The question wasn't whether you believe my children should be exposed to nude art or not, it wasn't a question about my child-rearing practices. The question was about what I can and cannot ask my live-in to do, and if it would be within my boundaries.

well then since I failed to answer your questiin: no you cannot tell her what she can or cannot hang in her private living space.

In the OP's living space.

NP. No, it is not the OP's living space. It is the nanny's private quarters, not even attached to the family's space. OP can decide not to allow the children to go up there, or she can ask the nanny to cover or take down the art in the event of the children visiting. She would be severely overstepping if she tried to dictate that the nanny cannot hang her chosen artwork just because of the OP's preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally I don't see what the problem is...do you never take your kids to an art museum??

I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than not allow the kids in her space. Feel free to tell her why...and actually it's better if you do so she isn't left wondering if she did/said something wrong.

You mentioned she isn't allowed to put any nail holes in the wall...how is she displaying the art? (And what's up the the nail hole thing?? I grew up with a step dad like that and it was AWFUL!!!)

We use command hooks in our house, tons of holes in the walls bring down the value of our property. She had no problem with it, they are fairly cheap and easy to install.

The question wasn't whether you believe my children should be exposed to nude art or not, it wasn't a question about my child-rearing practices. The question was about what I can and cannot ask my live-in to do, and if it would be within my boundaries.

well then since I failed to answer your questiin: no you cannot tell her what she can or cannot hang in her private living space.

In the OP's living space.

NP. No, it is not the OP's living space. It is the nanny's private quarters, not even attached to the family's space. OP can decide not to allow the children to go up there, or she can ask the nanny to cover or take down the art in the event of the children visiting. She would be severely overstepping if she tried to dictate that the nanny cannot hang her chosen artwork just because of the OP's preferences.

Also it is part of OP's nanny's compensation. OP has the rights of a landlord, and can say don't use nails or put any holes in the wall, but to say we don't like your taste in art, take it down, is overstepping a bit.

To OP: if the painting is in good taste and not pornographic in nature, why do you have such a problem with your children seeing in? The naked female form is the subject of many great works of art, and is nothing to feel shame about. While I respect your right as a parent to shield your children from what you deem inappropriate, I'm truly curious as to why you feel this is one of those things?