I feel trapped in my job.

[Anonymous]

I have been working for a wonderful family for about a year. We are all very close and I love the kids so much. I feel like a member of the family. Originally I was working about 30 hours a week, paid hourly, but I negotiated to a 30% higher salary, which we have been doing for a while now. They agreed instantly. I gave them my school schedule (I am in college) when I registered, and nothing was said of it. I assumed I would be paid the same because I am salaried, and, like I said, because they didn't say anything. Since the kids are getting older, they are in school longer. In fact, my school schedule does not interfere with theirs at all--I can pick up both of them on time every day. The parents also want me to leave earlier, so starting next week I will be at 15 hours a week. I got an email a few days ago from MB saying that they were uncomfortable paying me so much for so few hours. Their excuse was that they are being careful with money (yet they just bought two new cars, just went on vacation, and come home with new clothes and new toys and stuff every single day). I simply CANNOT live on half of my pay in such an expensive city.

Here's where it gets complicated: When I first started working for them, I did not have a car, they bought me one, and I am gradually paying it back. Obviously the solution here is that I should find a new job that pays better (not a problem...I get offers nearly every day, even from this family's good friends), but I would lose my car, which severely limits who would hire me. I can't imagine that anyone would take on the loan and let me pay it back to them. I can't get a traditional loan from a bank because I am so young with no credit history/cosigner. I also need my car to get around because my city has terrible public transportation.

School starts Monday and I am positively scrambling to figure something out. I am so mad that MB and DB seemed to be fine with this situation for nearly two months, and a week before my classes start, I have to reevaluate my whole job scenario.

Any advice? Should I ask for more money from the family? Should I negotiate a lower salary? I really don't want to be hourly...can't deal with the fluctuation week to week, as I alone support myself. I also babysit for them most weekends, stay overnight while they travel, am pretty much available WHENEVER they need. I feel like the premium that they pay guarantees that availability and flexibility. Am I acting entitled? I put up with a lot from these people, but I can't say that I would at half my pay (not to mention the scorn that I feel).

Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

Eeesh. Idk.

The car is not in your name at all, correct? Who pays insurance etc?

No one can survive off 15 hours. NO chance at a second PT job? That's your best bet, but I realize a lot of higher paying jobs need FT.

Shitty situation.

Your best bet is to say to the family

"I love working for you, I love my charges, and I appreciate all of your help, but I can't survive on 15 hours a week, and I'm having difficulty finding another PT job. Everyone is hiring FT. I don't want to quit, lose you, and also lose the car, but I am in a financial bind. Please advise on what to do. Thanks a lot."

[Anonymous]

**I'm also having difficulty because you need me to be available even when I'm off the clock**

I'd include that, too

[Anonymous]

AnonymousHere's where it gets complicated: When I first started working for them, I did not have a car, they bought me one, and I am gradually paying it back. Obviously the solution here is that I should find a new job that pays better (not a problem...I get offers nearly every day, even from this family's good friends), but I would lose my car, which severely limits who would hire me. I can't imagine that anyone would take on the loan and let me pay it back to them. I can't get a traditional loan from a bank because I am so young with no credit history/cosigner. I also need my car to get around because my city has terrible public transportation.[/quote wrote:

Ok, main question is this: WHO bought the car? Is it on payments through the dealership or did they buy it outright and you just pay them money? Basically, if there is a car loan, who's name is it under? Who's name is the car under? If it is your name on the title, then it is yours. You just need to keep paying them back as you have agreed to do. If they bought it for you, and their name is on the car title, then it is really THEIR car and you cannot expect to take it with you if you leave. But if you have been paying them money to "rent to own" and transfer title ownership after you had paid in full, then it is yours to take. It would be a loan agreement between you and them.

So more details about who is on the title and if they bought it in full or are making payments would be needed to figure this out totally.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It's a little complicated. What's relevant here is that we wrote up a contract and part of it says that if/when I quit/am fired, I have x days to return the car or arrange for an outside loan for the remainder of the payments.

[Anonymous]

OP, What was your hourly rate and what was your new 'salary?

Also, I believe they initially agreed to the change of salary but then changed their mind once they realized how much money you would be getting paid without working. Now, if they didn't need you for those hours, or if there was a vacation, holiday, etc that would be different. But because you have other obligations you can't fill it the other hours, on a weekly basis mind you, then I would say I agree with the parents.

Think about it. They will be over-paying you, then paying another childcare provider for hours that you aren't able to work. Why would they want to pay triple?

Also, it doesn't matter if they buy new clothes and toys everyday. They work to be able to buy the things they want.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Without posting exact numbers, my salary was higher to ensure that I would be available to them when they needed it on weekends and evenings. Basically so that I wouldn't have to take a second job.

They did change their minds. After a period of being fine with the arrangement. That's what is so frustrating. It's not my fault they agreed to something, now is it?

My schedule fits theirs. As I said, I can pick up the kids from school every day. It just so happens that the kids are getting older and so they have a longer day at school.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but your first mistake was allowing them to buy a car for you. You had NO family to help you out?

[Anonymous]

Ask the parents what they WOULD feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Why not suggest a nanny share...tell them if they wont pay you the amount you need they might have to share there time with another family so you can make up the money. Be be sure if you prevent this option to them you present to them what the positive will be out of the situation such as better pay for you, playmates for their children an etc this is always what I suggest a family to a family who tries to lowball me or say they can afford my rates it's not the move on and find something better and if push comes to shove maybe you just need to give them the car back and why not buy a car that you don't have to make payments on it might not be as nice but at least you will have to get a loan for it

[Anonymous]

Why not suggest a nanny share...tell them if they wont pay you the amount you need they might have to share there time with another family so you can make up the money. Be be sure if you prevent this option to them you present to them what the positive will be out of the situation such as better pay for you, playmates for their children an etc this is always what I suggest a family to a family who tries to lowball me or say they can afford my rates it's not the move on and find something better and if push comes to shove maybe you just need to give them the car back and why not buy a car that you don't have to make payments on it might not be as nice but at least you will have to get a loan for it

[Anonymous]

I don't know ... I would look at this as for two months, they kept paying you for 30 hours a week while you worked 15. Maybe they thought you would adjust your schedule in the new semester so that you could do other tasks for them again. Maybe they decided they don't need a salaried nanny for 15 hours a week. In any case, the job as you knew it has ended, just as if you decided to move on yourself and quit.

If you think you deserve more notice, or want to see if they will renegotiate the contract on the car, then talk to them about it. At the very least, you should get your money for the car back if they won't renegotiate. And before you give up, call your bank or your school's credit union and see if you can get a loan.

This was always a salary for a job, not an allowance given by parents to a child; the job is no longer mutually satidfactory, and while I think you guys made this arrangement needlessly complicated with the "on-call" times and the car that is/is not yours, jobs can end.

[Anonymous]

I can understand why the parents have an issue with paying for 30hrs when they only use you for 15.When you work wkends etc do they pay extra for this or does it come out of the 30? If they pay extra, then I don't understand why they have to pay for you more than 15hrs a wk for the flexibility.
Maybe at the beginning they thought they were ok with it but now summer is over etc and they have had chance to review the situation they feel you get a v good deal and they don't seem to get as much out of it.

[Anonymous]

You should look for a live In position that offers a car. Unfortunately you made a huge mistake allowing your employers to buy you a car. The only person that gets screwed is you because they basically had someone pay their car payment for months on a car used for their children and when they get it back they can sell it without losing any money. So my only solution would be to break ties, return the car and view it as a lease, get a live in position or find a night/weekend job to make up the difference.
Obviously they don't want to pay for an extra 15hours a week for nothing. You could offer to do all there housekeeping in exchange for more hours?

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Thanks for your advice everyone...this morning I learned that MB is expecting too! It is a totally crazy situation. Oh well, can anyone recommend nanny agencies in Los Angeles?