MB's, do you try to hire nannies that will never likely have their own kids?

[Anonymous]

It seems that the general idea is that nannies with kids of their own is a huge turn off to a lot of MB's. So what do you set for criteria? Most nannies are young females of child bearing age and some are married. Do you try to hire those that are young and single or too old to have kids if you prefer them to not have their own children?

[Anonymous]

I once had an employer ask me not to have children for 5 years while i was employed by them. That job only lasted for 2 months due to other reasons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once had an employer ask me not to have children for 5 years while i was employed by them. That job only lasted for 2 months due to other reasons

Wow! That is stepping WAY OVER THE LINE! No employer of any kind has any right to ever dictate to an employee how they live their personal and family life.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny trying to have children. I was fired from my last job when I told them I was pregnant at 12 weeks only to have a miscarriage. It has made me bitter about nannying in general. I like the family I work for now, but I will never give 200%, stay late with no notice, come in at 5:30 am because you have a meeting etc. again. Those days are over. I would put my job first and husband second because I thought they "needed me". It amazes me that people can do this, but I learned the hard way that having a nanny is business plain and simple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny trying to have children. I was fired from my last job when I told them I was pregnant at 12 weeks only to have a miscarriage. It has made me bitter about nannying in general. I like the family I work for now, but I will never give 200%, stay late with no notice, come in at 5:30 am because you have a meeting etc. again. Those days are over. I would put my job first and husband second because I thought they "needed me". It amazes me that people can do this, but I learned the hard way that having a nanny is business plain and simple

Geez...you got fired?! It really sucks that there are no laws to protect nannies from this type of discrimination. You should've tried to collect unemployment. I totally get why it would make you bitter about nannying. I am kind of getting there myself.

[Anonymous]

I didn't avoid it before, but I might in the future (hire only older nannies, or those who aren't having children soon).

My current nanny has two young children, and often makes me feel guilty when she is working because she'd rather be with them. She has also lost her back-up care since she started working for me, and as a result, her hours are all over the place. I am probably going to have to let her go because of the scheduling difficulties, and I feel terrible "dinging" another mom just for taking care of her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't avoid it before, but I might in the future (hire only older nannies, or those who aren't having children soon).

My current nanny has two young children, and often makes me feel guilty when she is working because she'd rather be with them. She has also lost her back-up care since she started working for me, and as a result, her hours are all over the place. I am probably going to have to let her go because of the scheduling difficulties, and I feel terrible "dinging" another mom just for taking care of her kids.

Well I you have to do what you have to do. I wasn't saying that MB's have to revolve their care needs completely around a potential nanny's needs. That's what hiring criteria is for. But it seems like someone always gets screwed in these types of situations.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny is older. she still has kids at home, but they were not "little" when she started w/ us even. I find this has been a huge benefit. If we ever (god forbid) had to hire someone else, I would keep this in mind, as well as how often I have to call out of work for my own sick kids as it is. yep, it's not fair, but if the nanny can't work then neither can MB or DB (1 at least I mean). That's not the case at my office where the work just sits and piles up if i'm out a day.

[Anonymous]

I also got fired 2 days after I told that bitch MB that I was 12 weeks pregnant.

[Anonymous]

I actually love that our nanny is a mom because I think she has good mom judgment about when to worry and when not to since she has BTDT. That said, her DC is 12 and she has a really good network of family around to be there for her kid so she is flexible about coming early/staying late, etc.

The nanny we had before had a six year old and it was a complete disaster. She lived far away and was late literally every day because she had to drop her DC to school before leaving and getting to us on time meant dropping her DC off a little early. She was also NEVER able to stay late if we needed (one advantage of a nanny over daycare) and sprinted out the door without ever giving me a download on the day, even when I was home very early (like up to an hour - she just decided she was done for the day).

Would I never hire a nanny who has or wants kids? No. Would I fire a nanny who wasn't able to do her job properly, even if she has a reason I was sympathetic to - like having a child? Yes. It just makes it not a good fit for both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually love that our nanny is a mom because I think she has good mom judgment about when to worry and when not to since she has BTDT. That said, her DC is 12 and she has a really good network of family around to be there for her kid so she is flexible about coming early/staying late, etc.

The nanny we had before had a six year old and it was a complete disaster. She lived far away and was late literally every day because she had to drop her DC to school before leaving and getting to us on time meant dropping her DC off a little early. She was also NEVER able to stay late if we needed (one advantage of a nanny over daycare) and sprinted out the door without ever giving me a download on the day, even when I was home very early (like up to an hour - she just decided she was done for the day).

Would I never hire a nanny who has or wants kids? No. Would I fire a nanny who wasn't able to do her job properly, even if she has a reason I was sympathetic to - like having a child? Yes. It just makes it not a good fit for both of us.

Exactly. It really depends on the nanny's situation. If she is able to have some flexibility even with having a child, then it can work. If she isn't, then I can see how problematic it would be.

[Anonymous]

"If she is able to have some flexibility even with having a child, then it can work. "

agree. Most families need this (and a prompt, reliable nanny) in order to do their own jobs. It means that nanny moms get a bit less slack than some MBs in terms of how reliable/flexible they must be, but that is just the nature of the job.

[Anonymous]

We had a nanny once with a child and it worked out pretty well because at the time we were home by 5 at the latest, and her SACC closed at 6. But it didn't work out so well if we needed evening babysitting, and she felt uncomfortable bringing her child to ours on snow days or sick days. She left us for other reasons after 1.5 years, but there were some disadvantages that we didn't think about when we hired her. We ended up using a neighbor girl to babysit at night because by the time she went home and picked up her kid and arranged evening care and came back, it just wasn't worth it for her to babysit for us.