Week 3 with (very busy) semi-high profile family...totally over my head
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Anonymous
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Hello!
Without indulging too much information I just started a new FT nannying job with a (slightly) high profile family. MB/DB are fantastic, the children are precious and the pay is unbelievable, I realize how lucky I am to have found this opportunity but I feel like I'm being swallowed alive. Both parents work at least 80 hours a week, in a high stress important job. MB warned me during my interview that I would be responsible for almost all aspects of the children's life. I understood, or thought I did and was briefed over a few days on their schedule than pretty much let free to rule. I've worked several FT jobs, for varying families and never had I had so much say in my charges daily life. In the three week period since I've started I have visited several Preschools for DC#2, taken all three DC to the Pediatrician solo and made some pretty significant decisions about the course of their health care. I feel like I am constantly calling or texting MB/DB and asking for their consent, and finally MB just told me she hired me because she trusts my judgment and ability to care for all aspects of her children's life. I guess I just didn't realize that I'd practically be making all decisions regarding DC. I mean, I'm humbled that I'm so trusted (even though I haven't been here terribly long) but I'm a constant bundle of nerves, I'm making big decisions (education, health, deciding what lessons older DC will take, when DC#3 should start cereal...ect) for someone else's kids. I understand that this is pretty normal for some high achieving families to have more active nannies, but I'm just a bit overwhelmed. Any experience nannies who can help me, I'm constantly worried about making a wrong decision, or crossing a line. |
Anonymous
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The important thing is, make sure you know why you are making the decisions you are, so if they ever question any of your decisions, you can confidently say "Yes, I thought of that, but then decided to go in this direction because ..."
Also, keep in mind that you don't have to decide everything right away. No problem with telling the ped "I want to think about this vaccine before making a final decision. If it's decided [my charge] should get it, I'll call for an appointment." |
Anonymous
| I'm a MB and I find it incredible that the parents are expecting you to make big decisions regarding their childrens' education and health. No wonder you are stressed out! I agree with PP that you should keep records on why you make certain decisions and hope that they don't accuse you of having poor judgement down the road. |
Anonymous
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I can't believe the pediatrician and schools aren't saying where are the parents. Because unless you have power of attorneys, signed consent forms in front of staff to do this, etc. there are liabilities.
I too once worked for a woman who couldn't be bothered only I didn't know it when I was hired, and I gave notice within months. Her parents tried telling her to be more involved even. Sheesh. What ultimately did it is the kids needed to go to the pediatrician's office and I took them, their first time ever seeing this doctor. And the Dr. went nuts and called the parents saying no, she doesn't have authorization. I didn't take it personal and told her I agreed with her. |
Anonymous
| What a drepressing way to spend your life. How many hours a week do you work and how much are your paid? |
Anonymous
OP this is very odd. Do the kids have medical conditions or special needs? What medical decisions have you had to make in the past few weeks? I have to say that as a mom I honestly have not encountered any significant decisions about the course of their health care. (I'm assuming that you are not taking it on yourself to decide to delay vaccines or something crazy like that?) Peds will let a nanny bring a child in for a check up or a sick visit but they are not going to let a non-guardian make a significant health care decision. Legally unless the parents gave you some sort of joint guardianship you can't even do this. Visiting preschools sounds OK. While a good number of people in DC look at preschool as if it were the college application/admission process all about them, it is just preschool. If you have any past preschool teaching or ECE experience, the parents think you may have better insight into which schools are best for the kids. |
Anonymous
| I am this kind of nanny, and I would ask the MB and DB to schedule a time to talk (even if just via phone). Discuss with them each of their children's strengths and weaknesses one by one, then discuss their long-term goals for the kids. What kind of childhood, adolescence and adulthood would like envision for their kids. Once tou have an idea of long-term goals, you will be better equipped to make short or medium-range decisions, such as school choices or diet. |
Anonymous
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I had a previous job like this.
I made all decisions for the whole household. It was stressful at times. I even remember it was up to me to put the dog down (or not, but the vet said it was best). I did last many years with that family but ended up needing a break from children for a while. I left nanning for 5 years. |
Anonymous
If they write a note declaring that you can give medical decisions, then you can. I have always had something like this for when I was watching overnight, just in case we had to go to the ER for something and parents couldn't get there or be reached by phone quickly enough. |
Anonymous
| God, why did they even bother to have kids. MB here and I think they are lousy parents. Poor kids. |
Anonymous
Who else is going to inherit the money they're spending all their time making? |
Anonymous
| Ha This is the type of family I love working for they stay out of the way and let me do my thing. Trust your judgement and if they have a problem with your decision then they should have been there to make it. The kids I nanny fors' doc, teachers, dentists and orthos all thought I was their mom till I got pregnant and they would ask them if they were having a sister or a brother and they would say oh thats my nanny. I have signed for every shot that they have been given, picked out their schools and activities and camps. Just go with the flow and think if this was my child what would I do. Good luck its overwhelming at first but you will get in the swing of things! |
Anonymous
| And they don't have to write a note for the ped to let you go for a visit to get shots or anything like that and make sure you have copies of their insurance cards on hand at all times. |
Anonymous
| Honestly, I think you would be better off finding another job. Not all nannies can do this type of job. Too many nannies, like you, see the money, and not the responsibility that go along with it. I think you need to get some more experience under your belt and then maybe you will be ready for a job like this. |
Anonymous
| To make life saving decisions you do, which is what I was talking about. |