Life/Work balance

[Anonymous]

So, I should open by admitting that I am a bit of a workaholic. I love being a nanny and tend to throw myself into the work with both feet. In the past, I have prided myself on being flexible and available for my bosses, but I am in a new situation and having trouble balancing it all.

I was working 60 hours each week for a family (Family X) with preschoolers and doing evening/weekend sitting for about 5 families on the side. Then the kids in Family X started full-time school, so they bumped my hours back to 45 (do morning drop-off, pick-up, dinner, and they are out of school on Mondays) and I picked up a part time job for a SAHM (Family Y) during school hours T-F, as well as one date night for Family Y each week (a total of 20 hours per week for Family Y), and I cut back my babysitting to 3 families.

So, I am only working slightly more hours (70-ish, vs. 65-ish), but I am rushing back and forth between jobs and feel much more pressed for time.

I think part of the stress is that when I was only really working for one family, if they asked me to work late one night or to take on an extra task (temporarily) or anything that was unusually taxing, I didn't feel badly about "slacking off" later, e.g., tonight I am working late, because they went out, but I don't feel the need to be folding laundry or sorting toys, I am relaxing and surfing the internet now that kids are asleep. The thing is that if I am tired because I worked late last night for Family Y, I don't feel right about being less productive the next day for Family X, so anytime I am flexible to take on extra hours or tasks for anyone, I end up feeling incredibly busy and stressed and am completely wiped by the end of the week.

Nannies: Do you feel the need to be "on" all day? Bosses: Do you expect this of your nannies?

[Anonymous]

You. are. crazy.

-Learn to say no
-Set boundaries
-Don't go overboard all the time, they begin to expect it
-Stop working over 60 hours unless you NEEEEEEED the money

[Anonymous]

OP here.

It's not helpful to say that I shouldn't go overboard. I don't work if I don't want to, I just happen to be happy working a lot more hours than most people. I am just trying to figure out some balance between giving my best to both families but not wearing myself out. I don't "need" the second job, in fact, my full time family offered to pay me a slightly lower rate to be on call and do errands and light housework during school hours, but I prefer to work with kids. Am I really so unique? Does no one else work two jobs?

[Anonymous]

Most nannies who work two jobs do so out of necessity - to top their hours up to make 40-50 hours. Some will do babysitting on the side, but its more 'put the kids to bed, quick tidy, chill out till the parents come back'.

I think that if you are getting stressed out it means you have taken too much on. I hope this question doesn't come across rudely or bluntly but if you work 60hours (plus commute to and from jobs?) how do you have a life? when do you go to the gym, have coffee with old friends, date, have dinner with the family ect?

Work /life balance is very important. I feel you have a work life in-balance (I think that at 60 hours a week most nannies would agree with me), however I understand you like to work more hours than most, but you also have a work/work in-balance too.

However to actually give you a useful answer and not just things to think about: "giving my best to both families but not wearing myself out" Is it the hours that make you worn out? The tasks? The running around? Figure out which of these is affecting your ability to give your best. Then try and figure out how to cut down and reduce the part that is stressful and tiring.

You may have to learn to say no, or add conditions to extra hours,

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're working more hours because it makes you happy, but are so stressed that you're slacking off on the job, then something is wrong.

The balance you need is to work enough hours that you can do your best when you are ON, and find some other pursuit for your OFF hours that might fill your time and give you satisfaction (hobby, volunteering).

I'm sure the money from all that working is great, but if you aren't able to give your best when you're working, then you aren't really doing your job.

I don't mean to sound harsh. I'm posting from experience. I used to work almost every working hour and was burning myself out. I learned that I didn't have good boundaries between work and life, and saw work as the only purpose of my life. It's been a harsh lesson, but I'm slowly learning to find other fulfilling things in my off time so that I'm able to do my best and earn my salary through my good work in my on time.