How do you now an Au Pair is right for you?

[Anonymous]

We're nervous about pretty much every childcare prospect. Having an au pair seems like the best situation right now, but I'm still nervous about it. How did you decide to have an au pair?

[Anonymous]

Research and think about every place it would impact our lives. Search all the ap threads on DCUM and read through all the posts and comments on aupairmom.com. If it still seems like a good idea and not overwhelming, then it's the right choice. If you are exhausted at the thought of putting that much work in to get child care (no matter how great and flexible it is), then it's not the best choice.

[Anonymous]

We are pretty easy going people, and have a basement area that gives our au pairs lots of privacy (and gives us privacy upstairs). We were worried about having someone live with us, but we talked to friends and really wanted the flexibility that we weren't getting from our nanny once our youngest turned 2/3 and could talk and walk on his own. We were nervous but it turned out great. Think about what you want from an au pair experience, and talk to an agency and friends who have had good au pairs experiences.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I was worried about the loss of privacy the most. I also worried about the "having another child/teen to care for" feeling that you will hear about if you sift through archives.

I am just finishing up 1st AP year. Our new AP will arrive in about a month. This is how I feel now:

- Loss of privacy was actually much less of a problem than I had thought it would be. Our house is VERY small - brick 1940s colonial like you find all over DC metro. Small-ish living room w/TV, small galley kitchen. No family room space. AP took over the finished half of our basement (used to be our rec room) which has its own bath. Kids had to keep their toys in their room. And, we were FINE. AP only occasionally chose to hang w/ us in the living room. She had her own TV & couch in her space and that's where she hung out. Kids knew not to disturb her there. She eats dinner w/ us virtually 100% of the time. This has been perfectly fine and pleasant.

- "Another child/teen to care for" - this didn't happen for us. Our AP was straight out of high school and on the younger side. We treated her like an adult from the beginning (eg, we didn't impose a curfew) and she acted like an adult from the beginning. That's not to say that we didn't need to invest quite a bit of time with her especially at the beginning explaining how things work, how to get places, helping her with doing stuff like getting a SSN, bank account, etc.

What I will do differently with next AP:
- I was probably too accomodating with our 1st AP when it came to meal preferences, scheduling vacations, asking to work some hours on weekends, etc. I will be more direct and set the precedent from the beginning re meals, weekend hours.
- We took our AP with us on one vacation. While it was fine, I did find when it came down to it that I would have preferred a week "off" with just my husband and kids. Next time I don't think I'll invite AP.

I think we will probably stick with APs for the next few years (my kids are 5 and 8). I don't know how else we would get the flexibility that we have now (weird split hours - 8-9am; 2:45-6:45pm daily plus random evenings and sat. am).

[Anonymous]

If you would like to learn more about au pair childcare, please give me a call at 508-612-9671. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you would like to learn more about au pair childcare, please give me a call at 508-612-9671. Thanks.

If you want any calls, it might be helpful to put your name and qualifications for being informed.