Employer trying to make you feel guilty

[Anonymous]

What do you do when an employer tries to make you feel guilty?Basically she wanted me to take the kids for the night so she could relax..But I have a huge final tomorrow and said no.I can tell that she's mad now too from her text after that. A year ago I probably would have taken them for the day,but I realized that this is an endless cycle and quit making myself so available,and I think now they get mad when I say no.But she knew I had a final tomorrow,and personally I wouldn't have asked my nanny to take the kids for extra hours right before when I knew they would need to study. Any stories from this happening to you?

[Anonymous]

Learning to say "No," and refusing to let someone put you on a guilt trip, is one of life's most important lessons. You said, "no." End of story.

[Anonymous]

You are not responsible for her reaction. Just be the best and most professional nanny you can be. Saying "no" when you need to becomes easier the more you do it.

[Anonymous]

I am an MB...a good MB wouldn't put you in that situation. If she has an issue with it...then she can find someone else.

[Anonymous]

She wanted you to take the kids for the night so she could relax and you said no because you have a final and she's mad?

I'm an MB and that's just wrong.

[Anonymous]

You are sure she remembered about the final? If anything I would be upset if nanny accepted but did not remind me she had a final. Mb may have forgotten?

[Anonymous]

your boss is selfish and a bad mom. good for you for saying NO!

I'd say...
"MB, it's obvious you're upset with me because I wouldn't take the kids. 1) I have a final tomorrow and need to study. 2) I should be allowed to decline extra work without my boss being upset with me. If this is going to happen again, i will have to find new employment. It's unfair to me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:your boss is selfish and a bad mom. good for you for saying NO!

I'd say...
"MB, it's obvious you're upset with me because I wouldn't take the kids. 1) I have a final tomorrow and need to study. 2) I should be allowed to decline extra work without my boss being upset with me. If this is going to happen again, i will have to find new employment. It's unfair to me."

^^ The thing is she can only say this if she really is willing to find another job! As a student, right before finals the last thing I would want to be doing was worrying about finding a new job

[Anonymous]

She's not trying to make you feel guilty. Something bad just happened and you happened to feel guilty. She probably feels stressed. I doubt she just wanted to relax while you worked. She probably has personal errands and such. She's (hopefully) not sitting there making posts like "my nanny is trying to make me feel stressed."

Change your perspective. When you have a nanny/mb relationship, conflicts like this can happen.

I think that she should've given you more notice than just text you during the day. That's kind of rude.

On the other hand, don't think of it as "she's going out of her way to make me feel guilty." You two have a conflict and you have to work it out. Did you offer to work on a day that you CAN work, perhaps after your final?