Would you let your daughter/son be an AP?

[Anonymous]

We are a HF and have had APs for 4 years now. We are not perfect but I think we are a good family as we observe the rules, respect the AP and have her well-being in mind.

However, if I think about my own daughter being an AP, I am surprised to find that my first reaction would be 'NO.' I sort of look at that year as a waste of time because it would not teach my daughter any important skills to have a successful life.

On the other hand, I like seeing the personal growth that our APs go through during the year with us. Being in a different country teaches them to be independent, brave, and more appreciative of what they have. It teaches them to stand up for themselves and generally get a better sense of self. Those are things that I wouldn't mind my daughter learning.

[Anonymous]

It's funny because as I was reading your post, I kept thinking, but look at all of the personal growth, independence, and resourcefulness they develop - this is exactly what I would want my daughter to get out of a year abroad. And then you mentioned these too, so now I'm unsure why you wouldn't want your child to be an AP. I absolutely would for just these reasons!

I would encourage my child to do this IF she wanted to do so and if she found she genuinely enjoyed spending time with children. RIght now she isn't really the sort of child who is deeply interested in younger kids, so we will have to wait and see. But if she enjoyed spending her days with kids then absolutely - I'd love to send her abroad for the year (if not, then she can go abroad to study for the year, as I did). Our AP from last year and I joked all the time that just about when she would likely be having children would be the time DD would be ready for her AP year. I would LOVE to send DD to her for an AP year...and I am thrilled DD is studying German now so maybe she could do it in 9 years from now!

[Anonymous]

The value would be the language immersion aspect. I would be concerned though that the program isn't as large and established with au pairs coming from the US going abroad. If DC did want to do something like this I would want to make sure that she was going to an area with a good number of au pairs, agency coordinators and other US au pairs in the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a HF and have had APs for 4 years now. We are not perfect but I think we are a good family as we observe the rules, respect the AP and have her well-being in mind.

However, if I think about my own daughter being an AP, I am surprised to find that my first reaction would be 'NO.' I sort of look at that year as a waste of time because it would not teach my daughter any important skills to have a successful life.

On the other hand, I like seeing the personal growth that our APs go through during the year with us. Being in a different country teaches them to be independent, brave, and more appreciative of what they have. It teaches them to stand up for themselves and generally get a better sense of self. Those are things that I wouldn't mind my daughter learning.

I agree with you word-for-word, which is why I would sooner encourage my kids to do a year or semester abroad as part of their studies, as I did. The concept of the au pair program is excellent if your career aspirations are around service industry, early education, etc (as has been the case for many of my au pairs.) What was ideal for me, and may be more fitting for my children, was my semester abroad in which I did a full semester of undergrad and an internship in my field.

[Anonymous]

I learned more about how to deal with employers and how to behave like an adult in one year of APing (at 18) than I did in any of my studying abroad (pre and post APing), independent traveling, organized (school/group) travels, internships or, indeed, FT jobs post-college. If my daughter (or son) wanted to be an AP I would fully support that and, like one PP indicated, would encourage them to choose a country with a globally valuable language for them to learn. I'd also teach them how to negotiate for language classes as part of their benefits

[Anonymous]

wait, an au pair has to be ages between 18 and 26. if a 26yo were asking her mom or dad if she was allowed to do this or that i doubt she'd be successful being away from home for 12 months...

i was 25 when i arrived and i remember i just told my mom about my plans and what the time line was.

after i boarded the plane almost 10 years ago we've seen each other 3 times in person. i never asked her for permission for anything regarding my trip.