Nanny and 1st Birthday Party

[Anonymous]

Hi Nannies -- wanted to get your input here. We're having a 1st birthday party for our son soon. I'd love to invite our nanny but I'm a little worried she'd feel like she HAS to come -- she has three kids of her own and I know she likes her weekends with them. There's a bit of a language barrier so I'm not sure whether I should invite her and try to make clear that she by no means has to come or should I just not invite her so she doesn't feel imposed on? I'm sure I'm overthinking this....

[Anonymous]

Invite her and tell her there is no obligation to come. I've been to all my charges' bdays/events not because I was obligated but because I love them and wanted to go. Are her children invited to the party? It might be a fun thing for her kids too if there are other kids at the party.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- we'd be happy to have her kids. They range in age from 5 to 17, so the older ones may not want to come, but I'll leave that up to her. Thanks for the feedback!

[Anonymous]

I'm always surprised when people hire someone with a language barrier. So odd. Anyway, maybe she'll come, maybe she won't but she'll probably be hurt if she's not invited. Also, IMO, saying don't feel obligated to come is like saying don't come. But that's just me.

[Anonymous]

You should invite her and her children, absolutely! You can say, "I know how busy your weekends are with your family, but we'd love to have you all over for DCs 1st birthday party on Saturday if you don't already have plans." Having worked with a lot of language barriers in my time I would encourage you to send it as a card or an evite so she can take the time to decide if she wants to come or if she wants to tell you she already has plans (or who knows, maybe she does) rather than feel like she has to agree on the spot (which is what tends to happen, ime, in situations with a language barrier).

Very sweet of you to think of her - I bet she'll be eager to come and feel very warmly for being included in the celebration.

[Anonymous]

Invite her, let her know she is a guest (and be explicit on whether or not you have "room" (desire) for her 3 children too.

Let her know there's no obligation to come if she has plans, but you wanted to include her if she would like to come.

Most of us will be hurt by a lack of invitation rather than annoyed or feel like we HAVE to come if asked, so it's great you would like to include her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm always surprised when people hire someone with a language barrier. So odd. Anyway, maybe she'll come, maybe she won't but she'll probably be hurt if she's not invited. Also, IMO, saying don't feel obligated to come is like saying don't come. But that's just me.

Same here.

I think you should invite her.

[Anonymous]

You are not obligated to invite the nanny. If you sincerely want her to come, just give her an invitation like everyone else. Of course, she's not obligated to come. You seem like a thoughtful person, so she will probably not feel pressure to come.

[Anonymous]

If you wish, invite her and her children, I'm sure she'll at least appreciate the invite.

[Anonymous]

Just save some cake lect over for her so when she comes home for work the next day she will feel good

[Anonymous]

Hahaha, PP. Cake makes everyone feel good

[Anonymous]

I was glad we invited our nanny to the 1st birthday party. I told her it was not an obligation, but that she and her daughter were welcome to come. I made a special effort to introduce her to people as a very special person in our daughter's life. I just wish I had made it clearer that we weren't expecting gifts.